Divorced for being too money saving!

Shellie_Squirrel

I'm a gorgeous 42 year old money saving Mum to twins that are just over 2.

My Ex divorced me for being 'too money saving' and put about me bringing home sugar sachets from restaurants in his divorce petition! Well, that made both me and my solicitor laugh!

So to all you Dads out there...is being too money saving a bad thing? I really didn't think it was as it's how I've been brought up with parents that were on rations in the war!

I never let my ex or I go without any luxuries, treats or nice holidays. I was just savvy and careful with our money where I could be.

Thought this might be an interesting conversation! lol!

...and if there's any single tall, dark, handsome money saving Dads out there....who would value a money saving, savvy gorgeous girlfriend...then please get in touch.

Michelle

pogg000

I split from my gf earlier this year due to different views about sending money. That's why it's important to work together lol bit late now I know .

HappyMJ

Shellie_Squirrel wrote: »

I'm a gorgeous 42 year old money saving Mum to twins that are just over 2.

My Ex divorced me for being 'too money saving' and put about me bringing home sugar sachets from restaurants in his divorce petition! Well, that made both me and my solicitor laugh!

So to all you Dads out there...is being too money saving a bad thing? I really didn't think it was as it's how I've been brought up with parents that were on rations in the war!

I never let my ex or I go without any luxuries, treats or nice holidays. I was just savvy and careful with our money where I could be.

Thought this might be an interesting conversation! lol!

...and if there's any single tall, dark, handsome money saving Dads out there....who would value a money saving, savvy gorgeous girlfriend...then please get in touch.

Michelle

Money saving and going to restaurants...what sort of restaurants were they? Did you use a voucher?

retireby50

Shellie_Squirrel wrote: »

...and if there's any single tall, dark, handsome money saving Dads out there....who would value a money saving, savvy gorgeous girlfriend...then please get in touch.

Michelle

I can manage one of these, will that do?

pauletruth

my FinL was a serious money saver. not his fault his father ect. however it was an horrible life for his wife and children. so yes you can be to tight in the money department.

consultant31

Ah Pauletruth, but there's a big difference between being money saving and being tight!

Money saving is all about having what you want or need at the lowest cost possible, but being tight is often about not even getting the necessities.

pauletruth

i agree but were does serious money saving stop and scrudge like behaviour start. if your afflicted with an over abundace of moths in the wallet/purse you may think your normal and the other a spendaholic. its difficult to change there behavior as well. the in laws marriage was a very sad one

Prothet_of_Doom

I think maybe the sugar satchets was the straw that broke the camels back. It was probably a catalyst, an action that made him review his own aspirations and how you fitted into them.
Maybe you failed to share control, or he felt he had no voting rights, as indicated by the words "I never let my ex (or I) go without luxuries, treats or nice holidays"
Suggests to me like, you had control, and he did not have an equal control.
One of the issues in my marriage, has been that with money tight and a joint account, neither of us felt that we had any say. I felt like I had to ask permission to spend money, and felt selfish if I spent more than the bear minimum. My wife irritates me by attempting to justify any spending that wasn't planned. I'm not interested. You spent it, which is fine, but that means we have to reduce spending somewhere else, which is fine. Does that cause friction? You bet. But I never ever say, she wasn't justified in the expenditure.

I think maybe that he might have felt your control was TOO one sided.

Do men want money saving wife's ? No. We want to give you an allowance and keep some for ourselves, save the rest for holidays, and cars, and SHTF, and let you get on with running the house, whilst we go down the pub, but buy flowers on a Friday Evening, just like in my Grandad's dad.

We don't care how you save, or eak out the megre allowance, just that a meal is on the table, when we get home.

Sexist ? Indeed, but given the choice that's how men would be happy.

pukkamum

Money saving killed my dh's parents marriage, she kept them virtually on the poverty line, second hand everything, nothing new, chips for tea every night no holidays the list goes on.
She threw him out when the worm turned, he got a very much higher paid job and she was still telling him they had no money, complaining when he spent an unauthorised £20.
She then bought him out of the house with 60k she had sat in the bank.
To say he and my dh were furious is an understatement.

Tiglath

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

Do men want money saving wife's ? No. We want to give you an allowance and keep some for ourselves, save the rest for holidays, and cars, and SHTF, and let you get on with running the house, whilst we go down the pub, but buy flowers on a Friday Evening, just like in my Grandad's dad.

We don't care how you save, or eak out the megre allowance, just that a meal is on the table, when we get home.

Sexist ? Indeed, but given the choice that's how men would be happy.

A ridiculous generalisation - the world has moved on from the 1950s, you know. My DH would be absolutely horrified by your attitude; we work as a team and have joint saving goals, do the shopping together, plan big purchases together. I earn more than my DH - why would I need an allowance from him? You'll soon find yourself extinct with a dinosaur perspective like that.

marisco_2

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

Do men want money saving wife's ? No. We want to give you an allowance and keep some for ourselves, save the rest for holidays, and cars, and SHTF, and let you get on with running the house, whilst we go down the pub, but buy flowers on a Friday Evening, just like in my Grandad's dad.

We don't care how you save, or eak out the megre allowance, just that a meal is on the table, when we get home.

Sexist ? Indeed, but given the choice that's how men would be happy.

It's views like this that make me feel glad to be single.