What makes a relationship successful?

SuzieSue

Hermia wrote: »

Personally I need SPACE. The thought of having to spend every non-work moment with one person brings me out in a rash! Mind you, I know people who think this is a perfect relationship.

We actually spend virtually every work and non-work moment together as we both work from home and have done for the last 6 years.

fawd1

Well, in my opinion, and it might sound trite, but here goes, it's kindness. Pure and simple. If you treat each other with kindness, then all of the other issues will sort of fade away. You'll always have trust, you'll know that the other person is trying to make you happy, and you're doing the same to them. The different things that make each other happy are varied (space, being close etc etc) but fundamentally if you ensure that you're kind to each other, you'll always be mutually working towards ensuring the other persons happiness.

Scorpio33

Apart from trust and communication, the one thing I would say is that there needs to be an acceptance that there will always be highs and lows in every relationship.

When you are at a low, realise it for what it is - a temporary low and look forward to better times. Accept that no relationship is 100% perfect 100% of the time.

FBaby

Scorpio33 wrote: »

Apart from trust and communication, the one thing I would say is that there needs to be an acceptance that there will always be highs and lows in every relationship.

When you are at a low, realise it for what it is - a temporary low and look forward to better times. Accept that no relationship is 100% perfect 100% of the time.

I completely agree with this. Too many people seem to take the way out as soon as things go tough. I've only been with my partner 5 years and getting married this year, but we have already gone through difficult times when it would have been easier to walk away. It is the commitment to our relationship knowing that my OH is as strong as I am in terms of facing difficult times that gives me trust in us as a union.

spender

Not thinking that the grass is greener, just accepting that your grass needs a bit of tlc every now and then!

lori64

itsanne wrote: »

There's a never ending stream of threads by people with relationship problems.

So, those who have been in a relationship for a long time (left to your own discretion!), what do you think contributes to a successful relationship?

I'll start with trust and communication.

I'll go with compatibility, mentally and physically!!

Too many people get together for the wrong reasons: eg, insecure, lonely and being with anyone because they cant stand being alone! Bad move! If you cant stand your own company, why would anyone else want to be with you?

Speaking personally, I need mental compatibility, someone who intrigues me mentally, and someone who I'm sexually attracted to. One is no good without the other for me personally. Could never settle for less in a lifetime relationship.

I'm single, never been married and would rather have that, than settle for less!

seven-day-weekend

itsanne wrote: »

There's a never ending stream of threads by people with relationship problems.

So, those who have been in a relationship for a long time (left to your own discretion!), what do you think contributes to a successful relationship?

I'll start with trust and communication.

Being best friends, walking in the same direction, treating each other with respect and the old Bible saying 'never let the sun go down on your anger' .

We've been married nearly 42 years.

CharlieRabbit01

an interesting thread, for us (6 years) its respecting what each other wants/needs with a bit of compromise thrown in.

We make each other laugh have similar values and ideas, we're not afraid to say anything to each other.

We buy each other little gifts and treats not because we disagreed on something but because we saw it and thought of each other.

mollsnan

35 yrs married. I would say hard work keeps us together! You have to work at relationships it isn't all romance hearts and flowers. Normal everyday living is the test,can you cope with the ups and downs,sickness and health, richer or poorer? And I don't just mean for those who have married. Out of six couples in our circle as younger people we are the only ones still together. No it hasn't been easy plenty of times I've felt like packing it in - as I'm sure OH has too. But if you really care and love the person you try to find ways through problems etc. We bicker and argue but we laugh, at ourselves, each other, and together. We are opposites but it works. Sometimes you have to compromise stand back a bit look at the bigger picture. If you really want to be with someone you will find a way. I can't see myself being with anyone else growing older, he makes me feel good when no one else can, he respects me, has always been faithful, cares for and about me,loves me,and I him - warts and all. No one is perfect we all have flaws if you can live with that you will make it work.

aileth

CharlieRabbit01 wrote: »

We buy each other little gifts and treats not because we disagreed on something but because we saw it and thought of each other.

This! I think this is a lovely part of a relationship if it happens. If I finish work early, I'll go and get OH some of his favourite chocolates, or something I've seen walking into work that I'll know he'll love.

When I come home and he's working late, he'll make sure there's a lovely new bouquet of my favourite flowers that he bought for me before he left in the morning.