What makes a relationship successful?

itsanne

There's a never ending stream of threads by people with relationship problems.

So, those who have been in a relationship for a long time (left to your own discretion!), what do you think contributes to a successful relationship?

I'll start with trust and communication.

Netwizard

itsanne wrote: »

I'll start with trust and communication.

That, and the ability to compromise in certain situations

Tiglath

15 years in, with ups and downs, warts and all. Tolerance and knowing when an issue isn't a hill to die on. Actually liking the other person helps immensely. If you weren't in a relationship with them, would you choose to have them as a friend?

maintenanceman

To think that 2 individual people can last in a long term relationship is completley alien to me.

LouLou

I don't think long term relationships are for everybody, yet it's something we're all conditioned to aim for.

Me, I'm quite happy to exist on my own and do my own thing, but I did still get twinges of loneliness when single. My boyfriend practically pursued me till I gave in (I don't mean stalking, don't worry), but I can see the positives he brings to my life: the encouragement, fun, company, companionship, shared interests, even silly things like doing the DIY or buying me medicine for my cold (usually I'd just have to tough it out on my own, no matter how I felt). Affection, and even romance, are nice, too, and something I'm having to adjust to! (blush)

He's much more gregarious and upbeat than I am (I'm more of a one-on-one sort of person) so my life has been filled with people since we met, to my horror, and sometimes, delight. He's definitely taken me out of my comfort zone at times, but I needed it too.

Trust and respect are two of the biggies. It never ceases to amaze me the people who want a partner at any cost, and don't look too closely at the person they've chosen. That's why holding back from intimacy keeps your head clear. Some people never learn that lesson, though.

itsanne

maintenanceman wrote: »

To think that 2 individual people can last in a long term relationship is completley alien to me.

Coming up to 40 years.

jayII

21 years for us and still can't get enough of each other, he'd love to carry me round in his pocket and I just totally adore him.

You have to like each other, first and foremost, but after that I think tolerance, respect and kindness/caring are the most important qualities.

Netwizard

maintenanceman wrote: »

To think that 2 individual people can last in a long term relationship is completley alien to me.

I admit, I don't know many marriages that have stood the test of time. If my work colleagues are anything to go by, most go tits up after 18 months - 2 years

thorsoak

maintenanceman wrote: »

To think that 2 individual people can last in a long term relationship is completley alien to me.

OK - so you are most definitely NOT a Keeper!:beer:

thorsoak

itsanne wrote: »

There's a never ending stream of threads by people with relationship problems.

So, those who have been in a relationship for a long time (left to your own discretion!), what do you think contributes to a successful relationship?

I'll start with trust and communication.

And it ends with trust and communication - and also as Netwizard said, the ability to compromise in certain situations.

My relationship lasted for over 50 years, starting with the casual boy/girl attraction, growing into being in love/lust/love and contentment, with many flashes of irritation, aggravation and arguments but with a growing sense of tolerance. And always communication and trust. And patience.

It ended, when my OH said "enough is enough", and I told him if the time was right, then he should go. His last words, as we held hands were "I love you".

Seanymph

When I read the heading my first thought was 'tolerance'.

But reading through trust is a huge one.