What makes a relationship successful?

Errata

Talk and listen, rinse and repeat.

pukkamum

The key to my long relationship, 18 yrs, holiday romance, is that we try and make each other happy, and life as easy as possible for the other.
So many couples see a relationship as a competition, who works the most, who's the most tired, who's socialising the most, whos doing the most in the house.
We have a zero tolerance for sulking, if one is peeing the other off we say so.
In my speech at my sisters wedding I said that 3 things need to be able to be said to make a relationship work, I'm sorry, I love you, let's talk.

Within the household it's finding out what your strengths are and utilising them without resentment.
I am good with money, he's rubbish, so I deal with all the money,with the kids, I'm good at nurturing and disciplining, he's good at rough and tumble and silliness.
He is much more spontaneous and slightly more reckless than me, so will encourage me to be braver, I'm much more sensible so will rein him in.

We laugh together, a lot, we can tell when one is a bit down or struggling and will pick up the slack.
Lot's of sex.

SailorSam

Tiglath wrote: »

If you weren't in a relationship with them, would you choose to have them as a friend?

I think that's the key to it all.
Answer that question and you know what to do.

hgotsparkle

Knowing the right time to be annoyed at something. If its something small and harmless, shrug it off, don`t make a mountain out of molehill about it.

huskypup

15 years together - 10 years married - trust, honesty, being able to laugh together.

I adore my husband and even hate going home if he's not there - we are military so it does happen alot though.

Also knowing though when to give each other space!

He's my best friend, he's my calm to my emotional, my sensible to my excitable and then we can equally turn it all around.

And he does all the ironing and makes all the coffee - lol:D

Dunroamin

lostinrates wrote: »

I think the length of the relation ship is only one factor. The happiness of it another. My grandparents, for example, were married a long time, but I don't think they were ever that happy.

Not as thorsoak writes about her relationship, for example.

Often contentment is more important than happiness.

rebeccatom

Been with my DH for 12 years. Respecting each other is very important and being able to support through lifes changes.

For us I want the best for him and for him to be happy and he wants the same for me. If you both look out for each other then I think that works.

We are also each others best friend and laugh a lot!! Date nights are a good way of not falling into the mundane.

He always says about making sure you are with someone you like as the most important thing.

Remembering you are a team, use each others strenghts and you can take on the world.

purple.sarah

thorsoak wrote: »

And it ends with trust and communication - and also as Netwizard said, the ability to compromise in certain situations.

My relationship lasted for over 50 years, starting with the casual boy/girl attraction, growing into being in love/lust/love and contentment, with many flashes of irritation, aggravation and arguments but with a growing sense of tolerance. And always communication and trust. And patience.

It ended, when my OH said "enough is enough", and I told him if the time was right, then he should go. His last words, as we held hands were "I love you".

Sorry for your loss. I hope your memories bring you comfort.

lostinrates

itsanne wrote: »

Yes, but the thread is about successful relationships. I wouldn't count an unhappy or not that happy as successful.

No, neither would I, and that's why I am saying longevity isn't to me the sole marker of success.

catkins

Over 30 years married and, like many others, have been through some rough times. I think what has kept us together through the rocky times has been the fact that we both take our marriage vows very seriously (we both believe marriage is for life and even if we split up would not get divorced) and the fact that we are best friends.

There have been times when I have questioned whether I still loved OH (didn't last for long) but I have always liked him as a friend. I would rather spend time with him than anyone else and we can, and do, talk about anything and everything.

He went away for work recently (only a week) and I missed him like crazy which some of my friends were surprised at. One friend who seems to have a happy marriage says she doesn't like holidays with just her husband as she gets bored. I asked her once if her husband was her best friend and she looked at me like I was mad