Does it make parents look better' if their child goes to university?

System

I'd like to think my parents would have supported me whatever i'd done, god knows why they supported me doing my "mickey mouse" degree, at a poly though and told me they were proud even when i only got a 2:2 (i did have some mitigating circumstaces though)..can't say i need a degree for the job i'm doing , that said, a suprising number of transferable skills did come from my time at uni, and i used examples of that time in the interview that got me this job, so i won't complain.

thorsoak

pukkamum wrote: »

Tbh I did it more out of interest than for work, I became a sahm not long after finishing.
I didn't say once that everyone who does a media degree puts no work in, I just think that for many it is an easier degree to do purely for doing a degrees sake.

Is this where I confess that I did my degree course just to see if I still had a working brain? I took 5 years to achieve a BA Eng Lit (Hons) - haven't actually "used" it - but I worked full-time, attended lectures in the evening, did my reading whilst commuting/research during holidays and wrote my essays and dissertations with my DD and DSs as they did their homework!

Don't who was the proudest when I got my degree - my old dad, my OH & kids - or my work colleagues!

marisco_2

Soleil_lune wrote: »

The upshot is, that Anne thinks that it reflects better on you, if your child goes to uni, it makes you look more of a success, and it makes you look like a better person, and gives you a more 'middle class' appearance.

Anne is the only one letting herself down and responsible for making herself look stupid. Success as a parent comes from loving your grown children for who they are, respecting them and the decisions they make about their future whichever path they choose to follow, and offering any support that you can.

If the only way a parent can feel a better person and of a higher class, is by effectively living their life through their grown kids, they have severe issues that really need to be addressed!

Soleil_lune

marisco wrote: »

Anne is the only one letting herself down and responsible for making herself look stupid. Success as a parent comes from loving your grown children for who they are, respecting them and the decisions they make about their future whichever path they choose to follow, and offering any support that you can.

If the only way a parent can feel a better person and of a higher class, is by effectively living their life through their grown kids, they have severe issues that really need to be addressed!

I completely agree Marisco. It doesn't help though that Anne's two older siblings have kids at uni (well one has left) and I think that somehow makes her feel that she has not achieved what they have. Daft I know. And being disappointed is only going to make her daughter insecure and upset.

Also, she rents her house (long term private let) yet tells her siblings who live a few hundred miles away, that she owns it! Silly. There is nothing to be ashamed of in renting. Also, Anne has a caravan that cost her eight grand, that she hardly uses, and she keeps in storage half the year, and a huge 4 wheel drive which is not necessary! So as some have suggested here: it's all about 'show' with her.

I don't think her daughter knows that she has been gossiping to the neighbours, but she would be upset if she did I think!

paulineb_2

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I completely agree Marisco. It doesn't help though that Anne's two older siblings have kids at uni (well one has left) and I think that somehow makes her feel that she has not achieved what they have. Daft I know. And being disappointed is only going to make her daughter insecure and upset.

Also, she rents her house (long term private let) yet tells her siblings who live a few hundred miles away, that she owns it! Silly. There is nothing to be ashamed of in renting. Also, Anne has a caravan that cost her eight grand, that she hardly uses, and she keeps in storage half the year, and a huge 4 wheel drive which is not necessary! So as some have suggested here: it's all about 'show' with her.

I don't think her daughter knows that she has been gossiping to the neighbours, but she would be upset if she did I think!

Im amazed that you know so much about this woman tbh, I wouldnt have a clue whether my neighbours owned or rented their own homes and certainly wouldnt know about caravans, far less whether their brothers or sisters had kids at university.

Im also surprised that given that half the street seem to know that shes been yakking about her daughter, her daughter doesnt.

Soleil_lune

thorsoak wrote: »

Is this where I confess that I did my degree course just to see if I still had a working brain? I took 5 years to achieve a BA Eng Lit (Hons) - haven't actually "used" it - but I worked full-time, attended lectures in the evening, did my reading whilst commuting/research during holidays and wrote my essays and dissertations with my DD and DSs as they did their homework!

Don't who was the proudest when I got my degree - my old dad, my OH & kids - or my work colleagues!

Well done! Getting a degree is no mean feat. They are all quite hard going, and take a lot of dedication. An English one too. A good one to have.

thorsoak

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Well done! Getting a degree is no mean feat. They are all quite hard going, and take a lot of dedication. An English one too. A good one to have.

Thank you! Should add that I was 48 years old when I achieved it - having left full-time education 30 years earlier! OK - I did have A level Eng Lit but it still took some doing - plus cajoling/encouraging /helping (?!) our 4 children with their homework! I was also commuting/working a full 35 hour week plus 2 hours travel per day! Of course the days were even longer when I trekked from the City to Birkbeck for lectures 3 evenings out of 5!

Soleil_lune

thorsoak wrote: »

Thank you! Should add that I was 48 years old when I achieved it - having left full-time education 30 years earlier! OK - I did have A level Eng Lit but it still took some doing - plus cajoling/encouraging /helping (?!) our 4 children with their homework! I was also commuting/working a full 35 hour week plus 2 hours travel per day! Of course the days were even longer when I trekked from the City to Birkbeck for lectures 3 evenings out of 5!

Oh my Gawd! How the heck did you do it? With 4 kids AND a job and all the commuting! Well done you. I don't know what job/career you have now, but you must make one kick-!!! employee! Any company would benefit from people like you. :T

thorsoak

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Oh my Gawd! How the heck did you do it? With 4 kids AND a job and all the commuting! Well done you. I don't know what job/career you have now, but you must make one kick-!!! employee! Any company would benefit from people like you. :T

Thank you! Actually I'm now semi-retired - working as a p/t baker in local convenience store :-D - never worked so hard, for so little money but can't remember when I've enjoyed a job more .......thinking about retiring (again) in 2 years time, and doing another degree then.....25 years after the last one!!:rotfl:

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

I expect so.

Oh no she isn't!;)