Advice needed...marriage breakdown / baby / money!

heyboo

Re the houses...the one in my home town is in my name and was bought 10 years before we got married. He's never paid into it and has always said he wouldn't want any of it if we spilt. I think because it's a short marriage he wouldn't be awarded a share anyway.

LannieDuck

I use the old childcare vouchers scheme - I assume that's the one your work offers? (I can't remember when the new scheme is due to kick in, or even if it's already started... ) However, the old one works like this:

You get paid £1000/mth, get taxed at 20% (£200) and take home £800, from which you pay your childcare provider (lets say £500/mth)... leaving you with £300 at the end of the month.

With the childcare vouchers you get paid £1000 and the vouchers come off before tax (max £243/mth), leaving £757 to be taxed. 20% tax on that is £151.40, leaving your take home pay as £605.60. Then you need to pay the remaining childcare (£500-£243=£257)... which leaves you with £348.60 at the end of the month.

In other words, the childcare vouchers save you almost £50 per month (in my example) because you only pay tax on the non-voucher part of your pay.

I know it's complicated, but once you get your head around it, it does make sense

sacha28

Treevo that is THE worst piece of advice I have ever seen on here. Jesus do you have any idea the effects that type of action could have on everyone long term? Only the most vile, bitter and twisted of people would even think like that, let alone actually do it.

Please don't do that, there are always ways and means of sorting things and that isn't one of them.

heyboo

LannieDuck wrote: »

I use the old childcare vouchers scheme - I assume that's the one your work offers? (I can't remember when the new scheme is due to kick in, or even if it's already started... ) However, the old one works like this:

You get paid £1000/mth, get taxed at 20% (£200) and take home £800, from which you pay your childcare provider (lets say £500/mth)... leaving you with £300 at the end of the month.

With the childcare vouchers you get paid £1000 and the vouchers come off before tax (max £243/mth), leaving £757 to be taxed. 20% tax on that is £151.40, leaving your take home pay as £605.60. Then you need to pay the remaining childcare (£500-£243=£257)... which leaves you with £348.60 at the end of the month.

In other words, the childcare vouchers save you almost £50 per month (in my example) because you only pay tax on the non-voucher part of your pay.

I know it's complicated, but once you get your head around it, it does make sense

Thanks LD, that's exactly what I needed to know.

heyboo

sacha28 wrote: »

Treevo that is THE worst piece of advice I have ever seen on here. Jesus do you have any idea the effects that type of action could have on everyone long term? Only the most vile, bitter and twisted of people would even think like that, let alone actually do it.

Please don't do that, there are always ways and means of sorting things and that isn't one of them.

Funnily enough that's how his psycho ex got him out of their house. He stupidly accepted a caution which has had consequences further down the line. Not cool.

Treevo

sacha28 wrote: »

Treevo that is THE worst piece of advice I have ever seen on here. Jesus do you have any idea the effects that type of action could have on everyone long term? Only the most vile, bitter and twisted of people would even think like that, let alone actually do it.

Please don't do that, there are always ways and means of sorting things and that isn't one of them.

So the OP should just let him drunkenly rant and rave at her in the same house as the baby? Phoning the police is something only the 'most vile, bitter and twisted of people' would think of?

Are you for real?

Treevo

heyboo wrote: »

Funnily enough that's how his psycho ex got him out of their house. He stupidly accepted a caution which has had consequences further down the line. Not cool.

I don't think you've read my post correctly - because if she did what I recommended (phoning the police when he drunkenly rants at you) then I don't think she's much of a psycho.

Treevo

duchy wrote: »

Well that would pretty much guarantee an acrimonious divorce . It's early days.....he may yet calm down and be reasonable -but the above would make sure it doesn't.

As he has family in the area -simply not leaving, not cooking etc for him may be enough for him to decide he'd be more comfortable short-term elsewhere. It's very early days people say and do really daft things in the first week or two when feelings are running high....but then commonsense and reason *sometimes* kick in.

I don't mean the OP should be a doormat -just that as they've been together a long time -wait and see what happens as it is possible he may realise he's been an idiot and start discussing the seperation reasonably.

(Also you talked about the OP selling up - but surely BOTH houses will be joint marital property ? )

But if he doesn't calm down then having him removed by the police is exactly what the OP should do. There is a baby here - it's not just two adults arguing.

HPoirot

heyboo wrote: »

Funnily enough that's how his psycho ex got him out of their house. He stupidly accepted a caution which has had consequences further down the line. Not cool.

Perhaps not so psycho after all if he now has the same attitude towards you...

heyboo

OK, I should clarify...he was just being an [EMAIL="a@sehole"]a@sehole[/EMAIL]! I didn't feel intimidated - he was gloating, sneering, mocking me.

Yes, if he'd lost his rag and I was worried then it would be different.