I've failed

Frith

I don't have a lot of advice but I wanted to send you my good wishes.

I would say that you don't need to go into teaching right now. Even in a year or 2 you will still be really young! You could take your GCSE again in the meantime. (I am not good at maths and got a C thanks to my neighbour at the time who was head of maths at a top boarding school and basically taught me when I popped round for a cup of tea!)

In the time between now and starting your PGCE (because I am sure you will start it before too long) could you do something to increase your chances of being accepted or that would be useful in the long run? Volunteering at a school, perhaps? That might be a boost for you.

(Don't be too hard on 2:2s - I have one!)

Frith

Actually, Lulu650 has just reminded me of something. I volunteered one day a week in a primary school for a few years. When I helped with the year 6 class, the maths really threw me. BUT... the teacher in that year was the maths coordinator for the whole school and I learned more maths in one hour each Monday morning than I had in all my time at school!

Bangton

Oh love. It makes me so sad to read your post. You've overcome so much. Someone with your strength who gets up at 5am with a small baby and loses their one love/family and STILL goes to Uni and does well can overcome this knock back.

Is there something in particular that has you struggling with maths. My OH was the same and it was purely down to feeling he had to do it. He didn't want to, didn't enjoy it and thus struggled to put in the effort to pass.

Everybody gets set backs..you've already had a ton by the sound of it but I bet when you have done crying (and let's face it we all need to sometimes) you'll bounce back and realise you have so much to give - there's always a way even if it's not always what you visualise

duchy

I suspect the majority of graduates don't go straight into their dream job ......or even any job at all at the moment.

Why are you so hard on yourself.... You've achieved a heck of a lot...... now for the next step ....after a pause to congratulate yourself on everything you've achieved so far first. First step check for number dyslexia, second step apply for classroom assistant roles -I managed a glorious CSE grade 3 in Maths at school -whilst working as a classroom assistant I had so many offers of help ......they even put me in supporting kids in Maths at MY level so I progressed along with the kids...... I decided teaching wasn't for me so didn't bother paying to sit the GCSE - but did the mock along with the kids .....and got a B. Trust me if I can do it you can too....or you might decide teaching isn't for you either after trying it out as a TA -but you'll have conquered another demon. Either way you'll be moving forward again...sometimes we take big strides- sometimes baby steps but we get there .....or sometimes not the "there" we were expecting but something just as good or better - that we hadn't even considered in the first place. Life is like that !

Get yourself down to the docs tomorrow-the anticlimax after the stress and anticipation of the final weeks at uni has pushed you into a bit of depression - get that sorted , have some fun with your son-then climb back onto the horse again.

shortdog

I've just had almost the same conversation with a friend, so I'll tell you what I told her.

You've managed to get a uni degree (which is more than a lot of people, and probably more than most of the people who will be doing interviews). An achievement to be proud of.
You've done that whilst being pregnant, bringing up first a newborn baby, and now a toddler, to be the lovely little boy currently tucked up in bed. Go look at him. Is he healthy? Happy? Achieving all his milestones? Well fed? Loved? Does he pop those chubby arms round your neck and give you a great big slobbery kiss every morning? Does his face light up when he opens his eyes after a nap and sees his mummy there? In that case, you're doing a damn good job.

You're 21. Look around you at your ex schoolmates, ex uni friends. How many of them have their own place? And how many have gone home to live with family? Your flat might be not quite what you dreamed of, but it's yours. You can shut the door at the end of the day and know that you are safe, in your own place, with your son, and no-one can take that away from you.

At the moment you're doing it. You're living. You're achieving. You're making your son proud. Kids don't care how many letters you have after your name, or what you do for a living, or where you go to work. They care that they have a mummy who loves them, keeps them safe, warm, fed, and cared for. They care that you play with them, sing songs with them, kick through the fallen leaves with them, jump in puddles giggling. No-one else can be his Mummy, that's down to you and you alone. Nothing else is as important.
Tomorrow, take him out somewhere. Go find a hill to roll down (FGS check for dog muck first), or a beach to play on, or some puddles to jump in. Relax, laugh and have some quality, fun time with your son. I can almost guarantee that watching him laughing and enjoying himself, knowing that you did that, will make you feel a lot better. We all need to be a kid occassionally, go out there and do it.

OK, so your dream job has had to be put on the back burner for a while. So what? You're 21 - I'm 34 and still don't know what I want to be, so you're a massive step in front of me, and I'm not worrying about it. Is there a surestart centre nearby? We don't have them in Scotland, but I know that some of them run adult education courses in the basics. Can you go to the college/uni and speak to them about doing a basic maths course to get you started? Can you play around on the BBC website, re-learning the basics?

Sorry, that was a bit longer than expected.
Sending you hugs.

choccymoose

You are so Not a failure, you have acheived loads and I am sure you are a hero in the eyes of your son. I wanted to be a teacher but was bullied so badly at school I wouldnt stay in my maths class to learn, I went to college to do my nneb, worked my way up from nursery assistant to manager, then joined the local authority as an advisor, during that time I di my foundation degree and also planned and delivered bespoke training and accreddited training.
Took voluntary redundancy after it had been offered 5 years in a row and am now a tutor/ assessor and work with 6th form students inschools where I am contracted in and other adult learners. Work have been put me through a range of qualifications and I am half way through my diploma in teaching in the lifelong learning sector.
As I said I had no maths when I left school, however I took my functional skills at level 2 in maths last year which I passed and this has given me the confidence to go on and study for my GCSE, oh and the small matter that I now teach maths at level 2. That has improved my maths ability dramatically lol

Enough about me, you need to take a deep breath, acknowledge what you have acheived in the past few years, then When your head is clearer, plan in small steps how you are going to acheive your gcse maths ( the gcse is too big a step with everythig else you have been doing)you could start with alevel one functional skills, moving onto level 2 then onto gcse when you are confident or whether you want to explore alternative career choices and come back to teaching at a later date.
Please ignore typos am on a replacement phone which I cant get used too !

emz118

As others have said, have you thought about becoming a TA?

A wonderful friend of mine didn't get on to her original choice of teacher training (same interview, I got on, she didn't... awkward week or so afterwards!) in early years in 2007.

She went off and worked in a boarding school as a TA, then in a state school. In 2011 she reapplied to the same uni for a primary art course, got on, did amazingly well, and has almost completed her NQT year. She is now an outstanding teacher.

She truly believes, that although that was a tough time and she felt like a total failure, she didn't get on to the first course for a reason. She knows that she is a far better teacher now than she would have been without all her subsequent teaching experiences.

Fate makes things happen for a reason.

Just an afterthought, have you looked into private school teaching? You don't have to be a qualified teacher, but you also don't get quite the same benefits.

marisco_2

I remember your previous threads and I found the way that you coped with some very difficult situations really inspiring. Alongside raising your son you got yourself into a position whereby you could continue your education and finish your degree. It takes real guts, determination and resilience to achieve all that you have. look at yourself and see how very well you are doing, how you've tackled your problems positively, and be very proud of that.

To my mind you are far from being a failure and are not destined to be a useless, jobless layabout at all. Recent setbacks have clearly knocked your confidence and the thought of battling on again probably feels like too much right now. Instead of focusing on any weaknesses you have, concentrate on and appreciate all your strengths. Someone with all of your abilities and qualities has a lot to offer. You might just need to adjust your aims a little for now, and stay open to different opportunities. See teaching as a long term goal and not something that you have to give up on completely.

You sound like a fantastic mum to me and are setting great examples to your son. He loves you just as you are and for all you do for him. He also needs you to stay strong and keep going. You can do it.

Voyager2002

With good teaching, anyone can get GCSE Maths. The problems you now face are clearly not your fault, so blame bad teaching in the past rather than yourself.

The test you took for the GCSE course is actually very useful: the result shows that the teacher who let you down was at an early stage, so you never understood some of the concepts that provide the foundation upon which GCSE understanding is built. So no wonder that you found Maths lessons and exams baffling and frustrating.

You will need to learn now what they failed to teach you then. So long as you have good guidance, and start at an early enough stage, it will not be difficult,

snookey

Have you been to a careers advisor to see what jobs are open to you.

As people have said on here you have done amazingly well and you need to stop focusing on the negatives.