Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

EchoDelta

I'm glad you're feeling better....... And fwiw I don't know *anyone* who feels very positive on Monday morning!

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

Oh Alex, I feel for you as you are getting it from all sides.

My best advice for you is to divvy up each issue and jot down on paper A Plan of Action. This could be something you do with your one of your remaining special pens and if you have a bit of luxe parchment handy, even better.;)

You think I don't use them anyway?

fc123 wrote: »

The problems/issues seem to be;
Parents p** ed off as son is going to interact with 'strrrrrange children'.
I would suggest saying that you need to know your week-plan and they are welcome to look after him whenever it suits you both BUT on a regular arrangement. Agree days and times.

No, no, no that was not the argument. Parents were happy he was going to nursery and said to me "good, he can go there instead of coming here, then".

fc123 wrote: »

The Proper Job rears it's head again.
You have a proper job, it's just in the new way of working. That generation just can't see it from how it is nowadays.

Thank you for all the encouragement with regard to this.

fc123 wrote: »

The partner; I agree with his wife.......split now and you sub contract his services. I don't want to go into detail here but we had a 'shared' set up many years ago and it was the worst thing we could ever have been involved with. Run your own biz (Ltd is better if you can afford accountancy fees in your margin)

Interesting. Yes, company will stay Ltd.

fc123 wrote: »

Wifes new job. She can go for the interview, get an offer and use it to negotiate a pay rise. Mrs K sounds like she's a very able person so I would let her use her own judgement on this one. If the childcare is in place and your son has enough time with one parent, he'll be fine. Trust me.:)

I'm not getting involved with regards to her job, it's her choice. If I were to start arguing about it, she'd walk out.

fc123 wrote: »

This affirms my view that you split and you run it yourself.
4-5 hours per day is a lot for them and I would share it out with nursery and with them if you can. Your son really needs to socialise with other children.

Do it....sort out an amicable split and sub-contract his services.
If it's confidence stopping you....still do it and we will give the confidence boosting pep talks when you need them....well, when we are not ribbing you for having such expensive watches and pens.......:D

I'm not sure the socialising with other children matters THAT MUCH? As he is getting along very well at the moment, or are we missing something?

Thank you, being truthful confidence that I can do it is the main thing stopping me.

Nothing wrong with liking a bit of luxury ... OK maybe there is in my situation.:o

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

From a strangers perspective, it seems to be the easiest issue to deal with from what you have written about your life so far.:)

You have all sorts of things to deal with from diggy comments from Mrs K's family and your own parents sitting there hoping you will get a 'Proper job'. I feel soooooo :wall::wall: on your behalf.

Start dealing with the real things one by one and the yearning to spend (with money you don't have in hand) on luxe items will fade.......trust me.:)

I do hope so and I am beginning to try and face up to other things than the debt issues. However, some of the other things have been going on for far longer.

EchoDelta wrote: »

I'm glad you're feeling better....... And fwiw I don't know *anyone* who feels very positive on Monday morning!

:rotfl: The wife. She's often said she'd rather be at work than with me.

kissjenn

OK Alex my rant - but it's for you!!

Why is business partners wife at the meeting. You have panic attacks, wilt at thought of parental disapproval, are terrified of unruly three year olds and have a pen fetish.

You need Mrs K at this meeting so the sides are balanced AND your family interests protected.

Why...read this over...

It's all rather complicated as business partner and his wife actually wants him to leave the company and offer his services on a freelance basis between my company and to independent clients, mainly because she thinks he could earn more (complicated scenario of three kids and little income, she's a hairdresser so doesn't exactly earn a lot either).

He's got 3 kids - his choice.
She's a hairdresser - so what.
They have little income - he takes 150% more from the business than you including petrol and part exchange.

ALEX YOU ARE £32K in debt and you want to turn up to a business meetings to meet his wife. Are they bringing the starving orphans? How easy are you to win over...I bet by the end of that meeting you'll have capitulated. I'm not advocated your father's line of screw him to the ground but fairs fair and this business isn't. Please get Mrs K to go or at least agree that nothing will be agreed or signed until you've talked to her.

AlexLK

kissjenn: I don't really know why his wife is coming along, just that she is and that she thinks he can do better out of our current arrangement.

Mrs. K. is at work and I try not to let my personal failings get in the way of business. My points in that paragraph were to illustrate some of the reasons why he takes much more than I do as a salary: the 3 children and his wife's low wage (she works part-time in a local salon and I know that can hardly make enough to live on).

So far as I am aware we are not coming to any final conclusions from this meeting anyway.

Granariesgirl

kissjenn wrote: »

...Are they bringing the starving orphans? How easy are you to win over...I bet by the end of that meeting you'll have capitulated. I'm not advocated your father's line of screw him to the ground but fairs fair and this business isn't. Please get Mrs K to go or at least agree that nothing will be agreed or signed until you've talked to her.

Kissjenn is SOOO right on this one, Alex - you need a supporter on your side for this meeting ESPECIALLY in your fragile state!
If Mrs K can't make it to fight your corner, then find someone with the sweet loving personality of a rabid Rottweiler & a sharp business mind!
Oh & don't agree to the first time / date proposed unless it really suits you - loss of face & all that!

AlexLK

Granaries: He's not trying to screw me over, at least I don't think so.

kissjenn

AlexLK wrote: »

kissjenn: I don't really know why his wife is coming along, just that she is and that she thinks he can do better out of our current arrangement.

Mrs. K. is at work and I try not to let my personal failings get in the way of business. My points in that paragraph were to illustrate some of the reasons why he takes much more than I do as a salary: the 3 children and his wife's low wage (she works part-time in a local salon and I know that can hardly make enough to live on).

So far as I am aware we are not coming to any final conclusions from this meeting anyway.

If he can take what he wants as a salary what happens to all the extra money I.e. the stuff you don't draw...is that joint? If you make £1000 and he takes £500 and you take £200 - what happens to the £300? Who owns that money?

Also you'll have a tax bill coming for personal tax as well as Corporation tax is that being saved? Not our business any of this but would like to think you're covered as you'll need to start including piano income as well if you intending do that as a regular thing.

We really want the best for you...if you feel you've the bases covered then I defer to that.

AlexLK

Sunday 22nd September, 2013.
Day 21.

Dear Diary,

Three weeks in and I have survived! By the skin of my teeth but I'm still here, still working to debt free and just today that little bit closer due to taking a £250 non-refundable deposit on one of my watches. He managed to beat me down £100 but when he picks it up I'll be £5,100 closer to ridding myself of the credit card debt. Got to admit, that feels rather good. So good in fact that I have began to wonder if Mrs. K. and I can also clear our bank loan and make a start on reducing our mortgage once the cards have been paid off. Perhaps it's just a rare positive thought tracing through my mind this evening?

Despite feeling so tired today that I had to take an afternoon nap, now I'm wide awake and feeling much better. Typical, as I've no doubt now that I'll be up until god-knows what hour, unable to sleep and before work tomorrow I've got to go and have a blood test done which should hopefully rule out any physical conditions contributing to my depression. Honestly, I'm terrified as this harks back to how my mental health problems started in the first place. On the subject of tomorrow, there's another potential big deal on the cards, that is if I can stay awake during the daytime.

So far as debt-busting goes, I have not managed to do anything today other than getting a deposit on the aforementioned watch. Unfortunately, I do think it will be neglected this week in favour of work as I've not even got one day off this week coming.

Summary:
+£250 Deposit on watch.
-£23.59 Groceries.
-£62.88 Mrs. K. Petrol.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

bess1234_2

Still lurking , you compulsive open minded learner you.....

By George I think he's got it :Tu:T:T:T

You only have to sleep like a baby, do a day of what your good at, and sleep like a baby again. One day at a time x