Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

heartbreak_star

Good on you! Sounds like they deserved a short sharp shock. You're probably in a better place to give that then the teachers too

And aww, bats are awesome! Best place to find them is usually near a pond or some such.

HBS x

AlexLK

HBS: Possibly, I just hope most of the silliness is over and done with now, it would be all too easy to overstep the mark - not helpful to either them or me.

Thank you for the bat information, I didn't really have a clue where to find them nor did it really matter as he enjoyed looking for them including that very well known bat hiding place - under my LR. Though I would like to see you try and tell Mrs. K. they are "awesome".

cazmanian_minx

Do you have anything like a countryside ranger service nearby? Ours does bat detection walks in the autumn (round Halloween is a good time to look out for things like that) and they have the proper sonar detectors as well, it's great fun for kids.

AlexLK

cazmanian_minx wrote: »

Do you have anything like a countryside ranger service nearby? Ours does bat detection walks in the autumn (round Halloween is a good time to look out for things like that) and they have the proper sonar detectors as well, it's great fun for kids.

I wouldn't be surprised to find there is something nearby, I'll look into it. Son enjoys anything outdoors / animal related, not really sure where he gets it from in all honesty.

AlexLK

Thursday 24th April, 2014.

Dear Diary,

At the moment, I am failing to "get on with things". Today was a particularly bad day starting with the stupid decision to go back to bed after I'd taken son to nursery this morning, confirmation that I do not get enough sleep but when I do it's far too much. All of this greatly affects my productivity which leads to hardly earning enough to cover even my miserly salary. Which in turn leads to more credit card spending or it did at one point; not for the moment (of course), although I dread one day having that temptation thrust upon me once more in a few years time.

Hearing from Mrs. K. only made things worse as she hoped I was getting on with work and was clearly displeased to hear of my lethargy. When things are like this between us I do wonder just how much longer I will be lucky enough to have her to call my wife, yet know it is my own fault.

On the debt busting front, there is at least some positive news as I am hoping to have some cash to put towards bringing the total debt down by the end of the weekend.

Summary:
+£30.00 Music Teaching.
-£50.00 Diesel.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

Granariesgirl

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all had a great Easter. I've been away in the land of vin & fromage (my poor liver!) so have just had a marathon catch-up...

AlexLK wrote: »

Debts as of 9th April 2014: £9,983.46

:j:T YEE-HA! Well done Alex, under £10k to go before the debts are busted! :T:j

AlexLK wrote: »

There are often times that I think I must be the only one to question how the "civilised" world works and how money seems to be used as a global method to control vast amounts of people in one way or another. The ethical implications of this utterly magnificent method of control used to represent worth is very clear to see. I also wonder how it came to be that certain skills are "worth" more than others and whether or not things would be very different if a different set of skills were the ones worth the most; who would be in power and how would a life under the control of that given set of people be different?

I was and still am to a certain extent, taken in by the intoxicating power of money and by those notions of not wanting to disappoint, of wanting to be a part of "the pack", you know the ones keeping just that little one step ahead of the Jones'. Yet, now that has begun to sadden me, as I shouldn't feel the need to keep up with anybody. What is "keeping up" anyhow? Perhaps, it's getting further and deeper into debt to keep an illusion of grandeur or maybe it's a fear of being seen by others as "poor". All I do know is I need to stop falling into this trap of "worth" equalling self worth if I am ever to stay debt free.

Brilliant writing, very profound & thought-provoking, thanks for that. :T

AlexLK wrote: »

Roland: Unfortunately, I do not have counselling anymore as now Mrs. K. and I have separate finances I cannot afford to - all my salary goes on household bills.

!!!!!! Alex?!:eek::eek:
How come she is not paying HALF the bills & HALF the mortgage at least? In your situation, we would be splitting the overheads according to income but at the very least she should pay HALF!!!
Is this "Alex pay all overheads" her doing or is it caveman mentality on your part? Whichever it is, !!!!!! sort it out fairly, this situation is RIDICULOUS!

maddiemay wrote: »

I am sure that it will be no consolation, but I too struggle with motivation, my time is my own and I faff around and achieve very little most days and then feel most unfulfilled, in my case a swift kick is required, but my OH is far too kind to administer the verbal equivalent, or indeed (thank goodness) a physical one

Ooohhh yeah Maddiemay, I am SOOO with you there!:rotfl::rotfl:
Funnily enough, the more unpleasant the tasks ahead appear, the more motivated I am to to the square root of sod-all!:p
I also find that priorities change according to the "donwanna" factor: cleaning kitchen cupboards is last on the list until tax returns or sorting out the finances appear, when suddenly the task of emptying & scrubbing endless cupboards on hands & knees seems infinitely less unpleasant than facing financial reality... :cool::rotfl:

HOK3Y wrote: »

Thoroughly enjoyed this article Roland - thanks! Alex, you might get a kick out of it too! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2608173/So-CLASS-YOU-A-wickedly-funny-perceptive-new-book-answer-hinges-favourite-marmalade-buy-M-S.html

Thanks HOK3Y! I LOVE the article & am utterly gobsmacked to find out that I am apparently "upper-middle class" when I always thought I was a kind of "floating voter" somewhere between Working & Middle! :rotfl:
Here's my two penn'orth & if anyone is offended by my opinions, well that's life::cool:
1 "Sorry" here unless we're speaking French where "pardon" is the equivalent...
2. "Loo": this is a constant struggle (OK Alex, 1 bad point about village school) as at school they are made to say "toilet"... Aaargh!:wall:
3. "Napkin" definitely! Serviette smacks of people trying to use longer French words when there is a perfectly good (& shorter) English alternative.
Question: do serviette users put them in serviette rings or does a serviette go in a napkin ring?:think:
4. "Supper" - unless it's really early when it's high tea/ tea; or when I've made an effort (ie. more than 1 course) when it might be upgraded to dinner (rare but not unheard of). Mates coming round unexpectedly will get supper but people will be invited to dinner... Good Grief how complicated!!:shocked:
5. "Sofa" unless it's garden furniture which for some reason means it's called a "settee" (I now realise I had a linguistically strange family!)
6. "Sitting room" (civilised space) or "living room" (full of family carp): "drawing room" I find utterly pretentious unless you have at least 2 rooms with sofas, in which case it is the bigger & smarter of the 2... "lounge" is for hotels & airports!
7. "Pudding". A "sweet" is something that you buy from a sweet shop & "dessert" is Frenchified English.
"Posh": jest or derogatory towards pretension.
"Mum and Dad" or "Maman et Papa" for us; my parents went from Mummy & Daddy when I left home - just sounded too babyish.
Some people in France use "mere & pere" (mother & father/ mater & pater) but that is utterly pretentious to me unless you live in a château & have at least a "de" AND a "du" in your surname or some of your family came over to England with Duke William in 1066...
"Perfume": used to be scent but changed when I went expat, dunno why.
"Party": unless it's going to be pretentious, which merits an ironic "do"; or really pretentious & full of boring people in which case it's totally downgraded to "funck-shun".
"Helpings" - end of.
"Terrace" if we had one but all we have is a "backyard" which I stole from my Transatlantic friends as it appears to sum up our dark, weed-strewn pocket handkerchief where you can't do much more than BBQ much better than the English word "garden". We used to have a lovely garden in France - sniff!
M&S: for food, kids' clothes, underwear & some school uniform, other basic clothes.
Marmalade: I LOATHE chunks in my marmalade so always buy the nicest stuff without the chunks that I can! Jam has to have lots of proper fruit in, none of that "30% fruit"(or less) rubbish! I don't care what this says about my class!
Cars: old-ish Scenic which is kept clean-ish. I don't care about the make of my car as long as it is reliable & safe...
Though I secretly long for a yellow Lamborghini Miura; a classic Austin Healey Sprite or (in memory of my father, who went to Italy to pick up one of the first ones out of the factory) a Fiat Spider to do-up!
Pets: cats, always has been. I would love a Staffie but a dog is such a tie... & I regard dog & cat shows the same way I regard child beauty contests: just weird (but hey, whatever flicks your switch as long as there's no harm done )!

Sorry about the uber-long post. Have a good weekend!

maman

Granariesgirl wrote: »

!!!!!! Alex?!:eek::eek:
How come she is not paying HALF the bills & HALF the mortgage at least? In your situation, we would be splitting the overheads according to income but at the very least she should pay HALF!!!
Is this "Alex pay all overheads" her doing or is it caveman mentality on your part? Whichever it is, !!!!!! sort it out fairly, this situation is RIDICULOUS!

As far as I remember, Alex and MrsK do share the household expenses but that uses up all Alex's earnings whereas MrsK has loads left over to spend on going on holiday on her own, retail therapy and saving up for a fancy car. She seems to think that's fair and Alex seems to accept it as his just deserts (or should that be puddings;)) and a price worth it as MrsK has stayed with him. On top of that Alex thinks MrsK deserves to live this lifestyle because she works hard for her money in a stressful job while ignoring the fact that he seems to do most of the childcare, shopping and cooking and hold down two part time jobs plus some voluntary work and attack the debts through ebay and any other means he can.


Sorry to appear to talk about you in the abstract Alex but that really is how it comes across on the page. If there was a similar thread and a man was behaving like MrsK we'd have hundreds of posts calling him an irresponsible, selfish bast*rd or worse.

AlexLK

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all had a great Easter. I've been away in the land of vin & fromage (my poor liver!) so have just had a marathon catch-up...

:j:T YEE-HA! Well done Alex, under £10k to go before the debts are busted! :T:j

Oh that's why the weather is awful, you're back.

Thank you, I can't wait to be free of the debt.

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Brilliant writing, very profound & thought-provoking, thanks for that. :T

Thank you.

Granariesgirl wrote: »

!!!!!! Alex?!:eek::eek:
How come she is not paying HALF the bills & HALF the mortgage at least? In your situation, we would be splitting the overheads according to income but at the very least she should pay HALF!!!
Is this "Alex pay all overheads" her doing or is it caveman mentality on your part? Whichever it is, !!!!!! sort it out fairly, this situation is RIDICULOUS!

As maman say below, she does pay half (actually a bit more than half ). So, not really her fault. Perhaps, our overheads are a little high - I intend on posting a new SOA up at some point as I'm sure somebody will be able to tell us how to cut down a little somewhere.

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Ooohhh yeah Maddiemay, I am SOOO with you there!:rotfl::rotfl:
Funnily enough, the more unpleasant the tasks ahead appear, the more motivated I am to to the square root of sod-all!:p
I also find that priorities change according to the "donwanna" factor: cleaning kitchen cupboards is last on the list until tax returns or sorting out the finances appear, when suddenly the task of emptying & scrubbing endless cupboards on hands & knees seems infinitely less unpleasant than facing financial reality... :cool::rotfl:

Certainly with you on some rather unpleasant tasks not seeming quite so awful when having to face financial reality!

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Thanks HOK3Y! I LOVE the article & am utterly gobsmacked to find out that I am apparently "upper-middle class" when I always thought I was a kind of "floating voter" somewhere between Working & Middle! :rotfl:
Here's my two penn'orth & if anyone is offended by my opinions, well that's life::cool:
1 "Sorry" here unless we're speaking French where "pardon" is the equivalent...
2. "Loo": this is a constant struggle (OK Alex, 1 bad point about village school) as at school they are made to say "toilet"... Aaargh!:wall:
3. "Napkin" definitely! Serviette smacks of people trying to use longer French words when there is a perfectly good (& shorter) English alternative.
Question: do serviette users put them in serviette rings or does a serviette go in a napkin ring?:think:
4. "Supper" - unless it's really early when it's high tea/ tea; or when I've made an effort (ie. more than 1 course) when it might be upgraded to dinner (rare but not unheard of). Mates coming round unexpectedly will get supper but people will be invited to dinner... Good Grief how complicated!!:shocked:
5. "Sofa" unless it's garden furniture which for some reason means it's called a "settee" (I now realise I had a linguistically strange family!)
6. "Sitting room" (civilised space) or "living room" (full of family carp): "drawing room" I find utterly pretentious unless you have at least 2 rooms with sofas, in which case it is the bigger & smarter of the 2... "lounge" is for hotels & airports!
7. "Pudding". A "sweet" is something that you buy from a sweet shop & "dessert" is Frenchified English.
"Posh": jest or derogatory towards pretension.
"Mum and Dad" or "Maman et Papa" for us; my parents went from Mummy & Daddy when I left home - just sounded too babyish.
Some people in France use "mere & pere" (mother & father/ mater & pater) but that is utterly pretentious to me unless you live in a château & have at least a "de" AND a "du" in your surname or some of your family came over to England with Duke William in 1066...
"Perfume": used to be scent but changed when I went expat, dunno why.
"Party": unless it's going to be pretentious, which merits an ironic "do"; or really pretentious & full of boring people in which case it's totally downgraded to "funck-shun".
"Helpings" - end of.
"Terrace" if we had one but all we have is a "backyard" which I stole from my Transatlantic friends as it appears to sum up our dark, weed-strewn pocket handkerchief where you can't do much more than BBQ much better than the English word "garden". We used to have a lovely garden in France - sniff!
M&S: for food, kids' clothes, underwear & some school uniform, other basic clothes.
Marmalade: I LOATHE chunks in my marmalade so always buy the nicest stuff without the chunks that I can! Jam has to have lots of proper fruit in, none of that "30% fruit"(or less) rubbish! I don't care what this says about my class!
Cars: old-ish Scenic which is kept clean-ish. I don't care about the make of my car as long as it is reliable & safe...
Though I secretly long for a yellow Lamborghini Miura; a classic Austin Healey Sprite or (in memory of my father, who went to Italy to pick up one of the first ones out of the factory) a Fiat Spider to do-up!
Pets: cats, always has been. I would love a Staffie but a dog is such a tie... & I regard dog & cat shows the same way I regard child beauty contests: just weird (but hey, whatever flicks your switch as long as there's no harm done )!

Sorry about the uber-long post. Have a good weekend!

You're not the only one "gobsmacked" ... (only joking, Granaries). Mind, you're not the only one who finds dog shows "weird" either. As for "serviette rings" :rotfl:.

I cannot see why a school would force it's pupils to use the word "toilet" and to be honest if any school my son attended were to try and humiliate him in that way (don't really have a problem with somebody using that word if they wish but equally do not see why a certain word has to be used) I'd have a letter written by the end of the evening ... in poison green ink.

maman wrote: »

As far as I remember, Alex and MrsK do share the household expenses but that uses up all Alex's earnings whereas MrsK has loads left over to spend on going on holiday on her own, retail therapy and saving up for a fancy car. She seems to think that's fair and Alex seems to accept it as his just deserts (or should that be puddings;)) and a price worth it as MrsK has stayed with him. On top of that Alex thinks MrsK deserves to live this lifestyle because she works hard for her money in a stressful job while ignoring the fact that he seems to do most of the childcare, shopping and cooking and hold down two part time jobs plus some voluntary work and attack the debts through ebay and any other means he can.

Sorry to appear to talk about you in the abstract Alex but that really is how it comes across on the page. If there was a similar thread and a man was behaving like MrsK we'd have hundreds of posts calling him an irresponsible, selfish bast*rd or worse.

maman: You are correct in regard to how we currently manage our finances. Mrs. K. pays slightly over half but keeps the rest of her money to herself - she earns it. Whilst I look after our son more, do my work and deal with the household chores I still often have more "downtime" than she does. Admittedly, I could perhaps earn significantly more from the business had I more time to put into it. However, my wife is not generally selfish, she does play with our son when she can and I am very lucky to still have her after what I've put her through over the years.

AlexLK

Friday 25th April, 2014.

Dear Diary,

Well, today after going to fetch some furniture to restore in the dreary weather, I decided to follow people's advice on here and go food shopping for the week as Mrs. K. is not coming back home Sunday evening as planned but is staying at her brother's on Sunday and coming back on Monday evening after work. Anyhow, I was surprised to find a food shop for a week (I took a list covering breakfast, lunch and dinner) was most certainly not "cheap" and I'm fairly certain it has cost us more than buying fresh on the day too. So, that's that particular MSE myth well and truly busted.

On the positive side, I should make a nice profit on the furniture I bought to restore, better still it hardly requires any work.

Summary:
-£84.00 - Groceries. :eek: (purely on food - no wine, spirits or anything else that could be considered expensive or "a luxury")

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

cte1111

I say 'serviette', what did that make me? A serviette goes in a serviette ring, I made one for my Mother (sometimes Mum, never Mummy).