Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

LannieDuck

AlexLK wrote: »

So far as the debt free journey goes it appears I have come £10 so far, hmmm not exactly miracles there?

You're also not further into debt.

Imagine you've been ending up -£100 each week on average for the last year or so. This week you've ended up +£10. That's a turn-around of £110. Don't be so hard on yourself - you're doing better than you think you are.

AlexLK wrote: »

ETA: On the subject of debts, will everything I pay off in addition to the agreed monthly payment be interest free? I.E. if, for instance, I pay £10 off one of the CCs, will I have £10 come off the balance of what I owe OR will it be £10 less the interest? (Hope this makes sense).

I think it depends whether your agreed monthly payment is sufficient to cover your interest. You need to know how much interest you're paying each month and how much your agreed payment is. As long as your payment is more than the interest, then in extra will come directly off the balance.

Incidentally, have you tried to request your creditors freeze the interest on the debts? I know other people on this board have achieved it, but am not sure how they managed it.

tallyhoh

As an aside, I have to agree about the furniture. I have a newish sofa but everything else has been bought second hand & "done up" if necessary. My bed was made about 1920 & is gorgeous.

Can you apply that to other things Alex? My lovely Barbour coat (I wore them before they got trendy as well) cost me £50 off ebay.

fc123

Oh Alex, firstly you have not failed on any level...

I did some quoted posts and was writing a response yesterday but called away and then lost the post. Feel bad I didn't get the time to get back. Some really great stuff on this thread

I promised a 'List Of Positives Post' and I was thinking about your 3 jobs and how to max the value from each of the 2 paying ones (as the W/SAHD role is unpaid).



The bulk of responses I would have written have already been done but you only had a glimmer of LBM last week and I do feel it takes a lot longer than a week to get every MSE skill in place + working plus it takes 30 days to change a habit.
You have several habits to change and one pcm is a realistic target.

AlexLK wrote: »

No website, I did used to do a blog years ago about... um, pens, watches and another thing I used to collect: don't laugh now, vintage filofaxes . Gave them up a while ago now. Still do watches, pens and model cars. Yes, I am a fully paid up and certified eccentric!

Wasn't big into the furniture back then. Talking of restorations, did I say I'm £50 up already on the Chesterfield chair I bought (it just wanted putting back up for sale), got a few days left to run as well, so that can go straight into the debt pot once it's been paid for. I suppose I've got a bit of a collection of them too currently we have more Chesterfield furniture than we can fit in the house, I've got three chairs in the garage. However, we swap them about when we fancy a change of decor in the house.

I wish I could stop worrying about the future, not only our son's future but what it holds for my wife and I too.

OK, the hanging onto nice things may be a hard habit to break but really, truly, honestly, how many chairs do you need for now? Once you are debt free and have savings you can have as many chairs as you can afford, garages full of them but for now I would sell these off and put the £ into the CC fund as the cards gone will feel waaeeay better than a having 3 nice chairs that you can't sit on because they are in the garage.



A Website or some online point of contact and information/gallery is essential nowadays.
A basic website is free and not difficult to set up. The techy board is good for advice.
If you can't do that at least a blog attached to the business that customers can contact you via, look at lots of pics, get an idea of prices etc.

You need the same for the music lessons too but this would be more info about your, your rates and so on.

I was trying to think how to add value to your music lessons so that a parent chooses you over a competitor.
If you have a local church or village hall, they are bound to have some kind of Xmas music event.
You could set up as an aside a kids mini orchestra or string quartet (for the violinists)
I know you wouldn't be able to charge extra for this so the practise in the run up would have to be Sat am for an hour for free but parents absolutely love this kind of stuff.
The kids that are keen to perform have to practise hard to get up to a standard (to play Twinkle star or Away in a manger).
Might be a rubbish idea but I did enjoy watching Gareth in The Choir

AlexLK wrote: »

I suppose I would, are you lot all this bright and cheery in real life too?

Not always

AlexLK wrote: »

I don't want to be put on any drugs, either. I am glad they worked for you but I am utterly terrified of losing what little control I have over my life. Four years ago I was put on some pretty strong pills and felt completely out of it, came off them myself and said I wouldn't go there again. I am going to go and speak to somebody (mainly because Mrs. K. wants me to).

Exercise works for me. You mentioned it was suggested to you?I was hospitalised as a teen and it was my 'prescription'. Has worked ever since and whilst I have 'down' days, I can cope and deal with most things life throws at me.
Just choose one you enjoy, can fit in and isn't expensive (like tennis if you have to join a swishy club)

The CBT is a very good and you could start having a root around online for info on dopamine/ serotonin as you may have an imbalance and there are a of natural ways to keep the levels normal, or as 'normal' as can be.
OH's has some family members with depression and I can't comment on drugs and things as that for a medical person to decide with you but you could try the 'natural' way first and see if it helps. It won't be instant though

I will list your positives in another post later tonight as I have run out of time...sorry.

AlexLK

Thank you all for the help I will respond to each of you later but currently not in the right frame of mind to do anything. However, so far this has been a no spend day.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you all for the help I will respond to each of you later but currently not in the right frame of mind to do anything. However, so far this has been a no spend day.

Chin up and have a dodgy hug :grouphug:

debtfreewannabe321

Hi Alex, Just catching up with you . Your thread moves so fast :eek:. I think it's great you had such a reaction to going out for your pub meal sounds like another :idea: LBM to me ( I think we have many of these aside from the big initial one along the way )

I also subscribe to the 'exercise to stave off depression' prescription! I was on a very high dosage of prozac last year and it made me into a complete zombie. Hated it and lost many months in a daze. I took up meditation & reiki & the GYM! I've been off them ever since. Try it it really does help and the endorphins from the exercise work a heck of a lot quicker than the drugs from the drs!

I just wanted to say I related to a post back on the other page (sorry forgot who it was now) who was saying that she'd dined on coucil estates and in big houses etc. I was the same. My parents are both from Irish immigrants. They were brought up in South London on council estates. They worked their way up to own big houses & several cars and to send me (plus two sisters) to prep & boarding school. I will tell you why I had experiences of all sorts of schools. I went to a very good boarding school and hated it. I thought the 'posh' girls there were very narrow minded, they saw straight through my father's 'new' money and dissed me from day 1. It didn't bother me in the slightest, thankfully having had cousins on a council estate in london I knew how to look after myself and boy I've never since met 'uglier' people more obsessed with money than them. I don't think you should be worrying about sending your son to school because the people that go to private schools are 'better' than anyone else. They aren't! You get nice & horrid people where ever you go. I think that a child brought up with good values and morals will do well where ever they go. BTW there were drugs & alcohol at my school, in my year (and I left when I was 15...!) This boarding school was at the time 'the best equestrian college for young ladies in Europe'. Ha. I really like you from what you've posted so far but I can't help but think that you remind me of some of the 'snobby' people at my school that thought they were better than me, your son will pick up on your attitude towards others pretty soon and I think that you should realise in one way or another we're all the same ...I hope this doesn't offend, not intended!

Oh and I also dropped by to say enjoy the wine tonight :rotfl::D

heartbreak_star

Okay Alex, I'm going to put my nasty mean tough-love sports coach head on.

GO BACK TO THE DOCTORS. It has been said before, but you need some professional help - depression really is making you see negatives.

At the moment, you seem to be stuck in the "oh, I'm a failure at EVERYTHING" mode and sometimes it's making you sound like a melodramatic teenager

As Eleanor Roosevelt said "No-one can make you feel inferior without your permission". You need to stop giving that permission, and some professional help might sort that.

Okay, mean head off

We all have blips on our journey (although as a Northern lass the fact a pub meal can be £40 shocks me, lol). You can't do anything about it now, so let it go Hope the food was good though - and here's a secret...whenever it's OH's turn to cook we mysteriously end up with a takeaway, so you're not the only one haha!

It really does take time to get into an MSE mindset. Have you cut up all your credit cards etc? Sometimes doing something symbolic like that can help.

Lots of continued good luck and good wishes!

HBS x

EDIT: Oh yeah - enjoy that wine, savour every sip!!

AlexLK

Well after a rather awful start to the day, it has not ended anywhere nearly as bad.

In response:

wegle: Thank you for this response, I am going to book into the doctors next week. Today, I completely flipped out after our neighbour's son was spotted for the first time in ages and he innocently asked if I'd sold my Range Rover. Well, to say I took it the wrong way would be an understatement. Feel rather stupid now about that.

bess: I have actually made a list of savings I have made this week and wow, I am actually rather pleased. Did put a deposit down on a car today though ...

Lannie: Monday is the big day to speak to the creditors so I shall have more news on that front then, an initial letter has been drafted to each of them explaining I am in financial difficulty. I have been a little naughty in attaching my original SOA though as I'm hoping for the interest to be frozen.

tallyhoh: Great idea We do love eBay in this household.

fc123: Thank you so much for all your help.

My main business has some online presence, nothing on the teaching front though this has been going less than a week. Not sure about organising concerts yet, it's an awful lot of work and frankly I'm struggling with feelings of being overwhelmed as it is at the moment.

The chairs are on Mrs. K.'s list of things I need to get rid of. Will be sad to see them do but I suppose the £800-900 will be better off our debts.

Yes, exercise has been suggested in the past. Fortunately, that has been happening recently with the walking which is also saving money.

gallygirl: :rotfl: That smilie made me smile (not seen it before and probably not likely to again!)

DFW321: Wine has been consumed, just a glass each as I rather fancy finishing off the bottle tomorrow rather than waiting until next Saturday, you should have seen the look on Mrs. K.'s face. :rotfl:

Comments duly noticed re. meal out and exercise. I am aware my attitude towards others needs to change, Mrs. K. thinks I'm an awful snob. Funnily enough my father's grandfather was an Irish immigrant. Nothing to be proud of there, nor do I want my son picking up on it. Things did of course go on at my school too.

In_Debt_Bet

Hello Alex

I'm afraid I don't have any great words of wisdom to offer you, but I just wanted to post to offer my support and also to say thank you. It was after reading your posts that I started to think seriously about my debt - which turned out to be more than I thought.

Your posts have inspired me to get serious about tackling it instead of just thinking as long as I'm making the minimum payments it'll be okay, I am now determined to sort it for once and for all.

Take care of yourself.

Bet

AlexLK

Bet: Thank you for your words of encouragement, I am just writing up my diary post for the day and have been over my diary entries for the week and added up our spend on things that were a real problem before e.g. groceries. So much good news and the petrol bill will be going down very shortly to. I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually feel almost absolutely brilliant about the money I have saved. This week has been an emotional rollercoaster though!