Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

wegle wrote: »

Alex, don't feel guilty because of my experience. I certainly don't blame those children who at the time made my life hard, they were after all only children. It's their parents that really upset me, they should have known better. I don't really have any contact with those I went to school with but I did a few years ago receive a really nice email from one girl who was awful at school, apologising for her behaviour, so that was nice.

I'm with both Topcashback and Quidco and don't get any emails from either. You can set your email preference in the myaccount section of each. I probably use topcashback more and made about £300 last year, Quidco I only made about £20 from, but I don't use it that often. Best things that I make money from on there are:

*Gas & Electric Switch time
*Broadband renewal/switch time
*Car/Home/Pet Insurance renewal/switch time
*Mobile phone renew time

I also made little bits from the following:

*Airport car parking
*Free insurance comparison searches
*Car Tyres
*Online Grocery Shopping
*Booking an eyetest

All the things are stuff I would be doing online and paying for anyway, so its all bonus money!! Just make sure you don't get swayed by the highest cashback amount for certain things. E.g when I switched my mobile o2 were offering £120 cashback and phones4u £80, but the tariff I could get with phones4u was loads cheaper, so when factored in with the cashback this was the better deal, even though the cashback amount was lower.

Hope you have a great Debt Free day, and maybe a no spend day!! xx

Thank yo. Re. the cashback websites, definitely not having a good day at all today, it is horrible weather and I've already suggested going for a walk around Nottingham as something to do. Well, that went down like a lead balloon with Mrs. K.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

:rotfl: UR02SLO . (best car registration I've ever seen but equally applies to this.)

The thing I can't get my head around are the millionaires that don't spend their money on nice things. Surely, if you've got the cash, you may as well enjoy it?

:rotfl:.

Why do you have to have (what you think are) nice things to enjoy it? What would give you more pleasure at the moment - nice pens, watches, clothes, cars or financial security? I've just broken through the 100k barrier on mortgage debt (party on my thread at 6.30, posh frocks and bring a bottle :rotfl:). Knowing I'm only a few years from financial freedom gives me much more pleasure than a collection of Mulberry bags (I imagine as I've never had one ). Knowing I could buy one (or more) if I wanted gives me a nice sense of security but that's it.

AlexLK

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Do you think millionaires get to have that title by haemorrhaging money? Look at Michael Carroll, the chav Lotto winner. He enjoyed it...and is back on benefits with nothing now.

Re the private school thing again...to re-iterate it is NOT needed. My parents weren't quite on the breadline but we were never quite comfortably off either - Mum would say "we got by alright". I went to a normal first school, a nearby middle, and a high school that was as rough as a bear's bum. In my year group, we had 2 kids pregnant in year 10, 6 more pregnant in year 11, and 4 in prison - 3 for drug dealing and 1 for GBH.

I liked my schoolwork, ignored all the monkeys in the classes, knuckled down and got good grades. I am now a scientific engineer. Not amazing wages, but a steady job that I enjoy.

If you help your son with his education at home, encourage him with his homework, make him curious and questioning with subjects but respectful to teachers, he will do just as well as he would at private school.

HBS x

No, I don't suppose I do. I hope you are not tarring me with the same brush as Michael Carroll?

I worry about my son socialising with the type of boys that end up drug dealing and the type of girls that end up pregnant at 15. I don't doubt for every one of the former types I mentioned there are ten doing well for themselves. However, I don't wish to risk my son becoming influenced by the wrong crowd if I can help it.

Both Mrs. K. and I will be helping him with homework, questioning subjects etc. when the time comes.

AlexLK

gallygirl wrote: »

:rotfl:.

Why do you have to have (what you think are) nice things to enjoy it? What would give you more pleasure at the moment - nice pens, watches, clothes, cars or financial security? I've just broken through the 100k barrier on mortgage debt (party on my thread at 6.30, posh frocks and bring a bottle :rotfl:). Knowing I'm only a few years from financial freedom gives me much more pleasure than a collection of Mulberry bags (I imagine as I've never had one ). Knowing I could buy one (or more) if I wanted gives me a nice sense of security but that's it.

I had never thought about it like that and yes, with my current situation I'd rather not be worrying about how we are going to possibly be able to afford to pay our debts off and become financially solvent.

I do wonder how I managed to ignore it and carry on regardless these past few years now, as it's constantly weighing on my mind to the point I am really quite anxious.

LannieDuck

Since it's raining today, do you have a local library you could take your son to? They often do children's activities, so you could pick up a timetable while you're there

littlegreenparrot

Hi Alex,

I've been following your threads over the last couple of days, and think you have made great progress. You seem similar to my OH, who attended private schools, and is now in what he would consider reduced circumstances (although its fine as far as I'm concerned, and we're in a better position than many on here. Its worth counting blessings)

Couple of points I'd like to make. Please don't assume the local state school is awful, go and see. Getting to know other children/parents in the area will give you an idea of the people he'll be mixing with. There are horrible people in private schools as well. Your son sounds lovely, but he needs friends just as you do, brilliant to hear you'll be out and about more.

You can choose to see any GP at your surgery, make an appt with a different one. Research your condition, try things to help you manage it. My OH self manages and is better than he has been in years. I would hate it if he thought he'd ruined my life, I married him, sickness and health applies to mental health as well.

No spend Rainy day suggesstions!
Local library - books, (dvds for small spend)
Wellies and macs to go splash in the puddles
Build a den from sofa cushions and a blanket, picnic lunch in there
Make cakes, or try and make a car from whatever cereal boxes etc are about

The loveliest thing I ever heard about what children need was that they need keeping warm, keeping fed, and being loved, everything else is window dressing. Have fun

AmyandArthur

Hi Alex
Increase your wealth by reducing your wants. It's a simple philosophy, but practice it every day and eventually you will flip from being a spendaholic to a tight-wad. I can vouch for it, it happened to me It took a few years, but suddenly that flip happened and I realised I wasn't buying 'stuff', wasn't splurging, wasn't frittering.
It won't happen overnight and like a diet, some days it will just be the dullest, most tedious thing ever. But eventually it becomes natural. Eventually that buzz you got from buying stuff (handbags, makeup, unnecessary crap for the house in my case) dissipates and you get a buzz from seeing the debt go down and eventually seeing the savings go up. Exactly the same buzz. Honest. It really does happen.
Keep going buddy.
AaA

bess1234_2

Wow your last diary entry was amazing ! I too was expecting its not great because I have spent a fortune. That was perfect.

Your depression is making your thought processes always see the negative, aided and abetted by wine. That is probably the only thing that leads to your downfalls. If you need it start budgeting for some help with it, it will turn the rest of your life around. There's a type of quick fix therapy which I think is called cognitive behavioural therapy, which is just about re training the way you have got used to thinking. Or go face that doctor and ask for a referral(free) . I may be a bit wrong about it but you get the drift.

Imagine if everything that came out of your mouth today was positive. "I've ruined my wife's life" is "I adore my wife and am learning moneysaving to give her a safe, secure and happy future" . It does change everything in reality as well as in your head.

Am proud of you for not raiding sons money in order to continue your spendthrift ways. One day you may have to, but this week you put the coat back. And you decided that.

And by George wine o clock is coming round quickly and you have masses to celebrate this week.

AlexLK

Thank you all, I will respond later, Mrs. K. has gone out with son and I seem to have some work to do, going to see a client and hoping this is a good one!

Granariesgirl

AlexLK wrote: »

I worry about my son socialising with the type of boys that end up drug dealing and the type of girls that end up pregnant at 15. I don't doubt for every one of the former types I mentioned there are ten doing well for themselves.

The important thing is heart & honesty - kids are often usually pretty good judges of that unless their parents /peers have screwed their worldview!

TRUST YOUR SON! You can always give a gentle nudge to the tiller if he's veering off course...

Have you thought that maybe the fact of meeting HIM & his family with other values, higher aspirations & a serious work ethic might help a "no hope parents" kid see that there is more to life than a jobless future / drugs / teenage pregnancy? A positive life lesson about social mobility for everyone!

AlexLK wrote: »

However, I don't wish to risk my son becoming influenced by the wrong crowd if I can help it.

I hate to tell you this but if he is easily led, he will fall in with the wrong crowd wherever he is.

That is why I feel it is so important to teach kids the following: to know wrong from right; to say no if you're uncomfortable with something; & that being a friend is not just about following your mates blindly but also telling them when something's wrong.

Another vital lesson is not to judge a book by its cover or a person by their appearance or origins: I have met some prize to$$ers who were both rich & well-born & some fantastic people who lived 12 in a 10m2 house (I kid you not, it was CROWDED)... :rotfl:

I have dined with princes & paupers, mixed with the nobility & the nouveaux riches, partied on council estates & on great big f#ck-off private estates & in the end it's always about the heart & morals of the people you mix with & that's not decided by their bank balance or their breeding.

I'll invite any of my friends or my kids' friends home & if my place is too posh or too small, that's their look-out: ex-cons haven't found it too posh & certain members of the Cream of the County haven't found it too small BECAUSE THEY'RE MY FRIENDS! :cool:

Give people a chance, Alex - stop judging by appearances, you're missing out on a whole bunch of great friends.

How many of your old friends who fit into the right class/income bracket have stuck by you? 100%, 50%, less?

When we were up the smelly brown creek without a paddle, we "lost" one "friend" (the kind who only calls when they need something :mad:), the rest were there for us. That person only got back to us when we were doing alright again - WHOOOOH did I have fun telling them where to go in front of the WHOLE neighbourhood!