Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

bess1234_2

I wonder if its something else. I always found the playground mums really intimidating. No reason at all, they just are. Maybe all gaggles of yummy mummies are. Like a gaggle of geese.

heartbreak_star

All forms of cliques are a bit intimidating, or just simply annoying.

HBS x

7roland8

Well I suppose any group is intimidating until you try and join them. And not all mummies are yummies!

debtfreewannabe321

I used to hate going to play groups especially our local surestart one too as there was a big group that went every time it was on and they weren't very welcoming at all. I got over it though as I had to find something to get me out of the house (and i'd also had my LBM by then ) I used to bring a book/newspaper once the kids were old enough to go and independently play and ignore the silly mares in the corner eye-ing up all the newbies. I tried to be friendly but alas I got stared at like I had two heads:rotfl: So if this is what you mean by the 'village mums' I can empathise!

Other things we did were get a yearly pass for our local zoo (perhaps you have a local one or farm or something that is open yearly?) when it is cold and raining we still go and sit in the soft play area for free (as we have the pass...) it saves on soft play entry and the kids are interacting with other kids and I sit with my book and a cup of tea. My two are slightly older than your son (4 and 5 now) but we've been doing it since they were your son's age.

P.s agree with comment about holidays! Stop looking. How much was it? If you can afford that much put it straight on the debt. It is hard to just stop spending after so long of allowing yourself whatever you liked but you have to keep reminding yourself of the debt and Martin's mantra, do I need it, can I afford it???

P.P.S I promise I won't post on your diary when I've a glass of wine in hand, unless it's a Saturday night from now on :rotfl:

Granariesgirl

Alex -
Our village primary school is great & DC1 has just got into a very good senior school, so the teaching ain't bad either!
The kids have learned to mix with all sorts & have seen different lifestyles & homes - all great for broadening their perspective on life.
Think of the money that we have saved by not sending them to a private primary school!
If you're going to go private, save it for senior school where there is an OBN (or OGN) & the exam results are better... IF they are better, as there are some VERY good state schools out there! This also gives you the time to save up for it...

bess1234 wrote: »

I always found the playground mums really intimidating. No reason at all, they just are. Maybe all gaggles of yummy mummies are. Like a gaggle of geese.

I found the best way not to be intimidated was to go & say hello - made some great friends that way!
Some of the poshest or scariest (too cool or in a group always laughing) looking people in the village playground have turned out to be the loveliest, staunchest friends a person could wish for & the laughs were all about kids' antics & OH's foibles, NOT about the others in the playground... :cool:
Have been rebuffed / ignored by a few snobs too - but I just say to myself that it's their loss, not mine! They were probably the ones b*tching about other people anyway & that's not my scene...

debtfreewannabe321

Granariesgirl reminded me of the schooling issue you're facing.... My eldest (he's nearly 15) started off in a local school, got horribly beaten (he was 4 :eek: had 2 black eyes and bruised ribs/legs/tummy) on his first day and all that first week he came home scared and crying, and the school did zilcho about it. I pulled him straight out and put him into a very good private school. He stayed there only 2 terms though as it turned out his 'bullies' were the kids who lived opposite me. Word was spread I was some sort of snob and I got 'picked on' was pretty pathetic but anyway upset us enough that I moved with a new job. He went to a prep school for the next 3 years as the school in our catchment was failing and we couldn't get him into the other one (way oversubscribed) I moved again after his 3 years there to London. Prep school fees were 4 times the amount :eek::eek::eek::eek: and I found a local school. Turns out it was fantastic and I've never been snobby about local schools again and feel ashamed for admitting I ever did feel this way . But then I think a little of it was I had visions of him being beaten up every time I thought of one!! He did fantastically at the school and came on in leaps and bounds ( as he had done in the previous one too). We moved one final time whilst he was in primary and I had no hesitations about the local one and again it was great (my 2 younger ones now go there). SO he's been through both (as did I but a long story too lol) and if your local school is good I wouldn't hesitate sending him there. If you feel for secondary a private one is best perhaps then look into it? (I also have both sides of the story for boarding/private/local secondary/Grammar too if ever you want that :rotfl:) If you have local friends with kids though and they school locally I would ask them for their opinion. Ofsted doesn't always tell you everything anyhow i'll stop there I can talk for England:o

AlexLK

Just responding to everyone now!

AlexLK

Wow, I go out for the afternoon and come back to all these wonderful replies, thank you everybody.

So, to start:

Lannie: No worries, I stay at home more than Mrs. K. does, unless I go out for work I'm here. Perhaps, I could be labelled a WAHD, LOL . Plus, I'm laughing rather hard at the thought of you assuming any timetables for ANYTHING round here would be online.:rotfl: I live in the "land time forgot" and all the oldies are still very wary of "t'interweb".

heartbreak_star: Mrs. K. is not about to book a holiday, if I can't have my wine, she can't have her sun! No, really, we are trying hard.

As for swimming, we are going early tomorrow morning which should be nice. There are some nice events for little ones at the pool which I suggested we could try to Mrs. K., she said she'd check out the 'eye candy' first. :rotfl:

We ended up going out for a big walk and picnic (thank you everyone who suggested that), even Mrs. K. enjoyed it but we are all tired now. Son fell straight to sleep as soon as we got back, leaving Mrs. K. and I some time to discuss how we were going to move on with our lives and relationship - it seems for the moment we are getting along much, much better and for once she said she enjoyed being home which I call a bit of a result, as recently it's been nothing but "I can't wait to get back to work full time".

As far as dinner goes, Mrs. K. made a HOME MADE pizza, yes I'm rather excited, we've never seen such a thing in this household.

wegle: No need to apologise and you are right he's got to learn otherwise he'll end up a 30-odd year old brat like his father. Besides, I need to learn not to give in to him constantly.

We love Cyprus and arts and crafts stuff too so thank you very much for the tips.

zenshi: spending diary kind of sorted, I have a good memory so write it on the spreadsheet when I get home and no, it is not selective.

Mara: LOL!

Granaries:
Gas / Electric: Thanks for a wonderful suggestion, he does indeed like to say whenever he believes we are wrong, already I hear you cry? Yes, already!

Mobile phone: Will look into that once contract is over.

Groceries: Can't wait until son is old enough to contribute, LOL.

Thank you very much re. The debt paying, we have been talking about that today and Mrs. K. Is very keen to borrow our son's money to pay some of it off, I am still a little reluctant. Also the house advice was very useful, this is our first bought house.

Quotas probably aren't the best idea for me to go by as I already feel under pressure to achieve what I set out for myself to do this month.

Our boy would love that re. The car boot / autojumbles.

Hahahaha I can't help but find it amusing that you presume Mrs. K. Not to be into the cars ... She is just as bad, if not worse than me. I'm not the only eccentric in my marriage. We met through a classic car meet that we both used to attend; I had the Triumph I've mentioned far too many times and she had an "E30" BMW convertible.

I hadn't thought of making a cancellations policy for the music teaching so thank you very much for the advice.

Bess: She is very grateful as she thinks I spoil him.


Roland plus all others re. The "village mums": I ought to clarify Mrs. K. Is not much of a "girly": OK she likes her high heels and hairdos but she's more at home going on a day out to the race track than she is baking. Basically, they all got off on the wrong foot. However, yes both she and I have been guilty of snobbery.

The nearest zoo is about 50 miles away but there are a few open farms plus our neighbour's that our son likes to walk around, he likes cars as mentioned previously and animals. We were thinking about getting a dog at some point for him to grow up with but not until he's a bit older.

The holiday was £1200 and yes, I suppose we could put the money to better use, nor can we actually afford it ... I was considering borrowing from the business. LOL on the wine, 2 days to go!!

Granaries: This is going to sound incredibly snobbish re. The schools but I don't want him making friends with certain "types" of children from certain "types" of families. I know I can't stop him being friends with anyone when he is older but at a primary level age, I do wonder how he would become influenced by certain other children. Joining this board has made me realise that I am perhaps wrong and had maybe a little too much of a sheltered upbringing myself.

Mrs. K. Does struggle to get on with other mums though.

DFW321: that is EXACTLY the kind of thing I worry about happening at state schools.

Sorry if this post is a bit incoherent I will be posting my diary this evening. Mrs. K. And I are currently rather busy with finishing the job we started on the Land Rover this afternoon ... More will follow in the diary and no we've not spent a penny on it!

7roland8

I think Primary schools vary a great dewal - ours had over 130 children in but it was like one big family and althoguh a few were rougher than others basically it worked fine.

Am wondering how your son will fit in with Private education? Simply meaning that the sort of children he will then be mixing with will not only be able to afford the fees - but also lots of holidays horses etc etc. Plus then it will also be a lot of superficial stuff like what car the parents drive when they are picked up.
I can recall tales of Grammar school boys who got scholarships but were never accepted.
Its not just the school fees is it?

AlexLK

Roland: Unfortunately, I have to admit I know exactly what you mean regarding our son fitting in. I did say to Mrs. K. today that maybe we'd be better off home educating him as I worry he won't fit in at any school, state or private. Worse still, I know that it is my fault.

In truth my wife and I are unlikely to have the sort of funds to live our old lifestyle until I inherit and I'd rather not think about that as I'm very close to my parents (we are a small family of them and me). Whilst Mrs. K. is going to be chasing a promotion at work, she's never going to earn a great amount in this country (Structural Engineer). However, we don't want to move abroad. As for my income I doubt I'll ever be able to face a "proper" job again.