This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Watty1

Great points @LadyWithAPlan he seems to have no interest in living with his girlfriend.  Tbh that sounds to be a very weird relationship from what I can gather but not my problem.  Feeling bit brighter today although fed up that I got caught with what sounded a wonderful online course/business membership programme and has turned out to be not that great at all. Will cancel for next year's membership.   It should provide legal protection but nah not feeling it. Have booked a support call to see if I can turn it around.  

Watty1

Just been reviewing figures for business.  Am so glad I did not go ahead and try to purchase a small house.  The reality is as the financial crisis hits hard then my own business downturns too. Not much meat I can cut from the bone now.

Contacted a solicitor to re-write will.  A temporary stop gap will but now much needed I think.

Karmacat

Watty, sorry to hear the downturn is affecting you, that's bad news.  Not *quite* as bad as it could have been, as you say, but still really unpleasant.  You mentioned a business membership programme in your previous post, is that helping at all to investigate it further?

Suffolk_lass

Just popping in to say that if your plans go to pre-planning he may well see what you are doing.My local authority lets me set up multiple maps to be alerted if any planning applications of any sort are lodged

Humdinger1

True @Suffolk_lass.  I hope you don't mind me asking @Watty1 but I'm confused about what rights ex has to stay in the house and what's been agreed you can do.  If it's too personal a question please say so.  Is this all under negotiation? Love Humdinger xx 

Watty1

Suffolk_lass said:

Just popping in to say that if your plans go to pre-planning he may well see what you are doing.My local authority lets me set up multiple maps to be alerted if any planning applications of any sort are lodged

A considered risk.   Apparently, pre-planning is not logged in a way that can be checked so I am told so I am going to risk it but thanks for the heads up.

Watty1

Karmacat said:

Watty, sorry to hear the downturn is affecting you, that's bad news.  Not *quite* as bad as it could have been, as you say, but still really unpleasant.  You mentioned a business membership programme in your previous post, is that helping at all to investigate it further?

Might help with chasing up bad payers but to be honest it has not been a lot of help.    it was one of those things that sounded great but way too much "upselling" for the useful stuff!

Watty1

Humdinger1 said:

 I hope you don't mind me asking @Watty1 but I'm confused about what rights ex has to stay in the house and what's been agreed you can do.  If it's too personal a question please say so.  Is this all under negotiation? Love Humdinger xx 

Nothing agreed. This is a problem for many co-habitees it seems.  We both own the houses.   We went to a private FDR hearing where I tried to demonstrate I had paid the majority share of the houses and that I would not have done so if I had realised he would not be fair in the event of a relationship breakdown.  The hearing concluded with the law is that if property is in joint names then it is 50/50 but if something is in sole name then it is the ownership of that person only.

I tried to show I had paid the majority of both mortgages and would not have done so if I had realised he would effectively "take my pension plan property". Rather I showed I would have put the money into my own name.

However, the private judge found "not enough evidence" and ruled he should give me a discount on the property I wanted to buy as a sign of good will and to make me go away.

The ex has declined to do that.   In fact the ex wants half the market value and a 20 year overage (meaning he gets a share in the profits if I sell the land for development).

We have many times "agreed" only for his legal team to move the goalposts and want "more".  More money or more years on the overage agreement.   By the summer of this year, I was fed up and stopped discussing it with his legal team.  

This means we both own both the houses and continue to do so.  Unless he either compromises or I give him everything he wants he can live where he likes!   As can I.  He knows I want to live here and so he lives here. 

Nearly three years later I am tired and exhausted. I am fed up and some days am seriously depressed.    I can't really see an end in sight other than to give him everything he wants or use the law to force the sale of the houses.

Which is why I decided to see what was possible here with planning.  I have an idea and if it would work out it is worth me buying the house and giving him what he wants.

if it will not, then I will go to court and ask a judge to force the sale of the houses on the basis that the trust we bought them on has broken down.  If I do that, I will simply get a half share and job done.

It is the hanging in there that is hard.  I cannot believe a man I used to love can be such a ******    

Alchemilla

Sending love @Watty.

Humdinger1

It is hard @Watty1; I divorced my first husband 10 years ago and grapple with the same problem! Thanks for the summary. One thing I'm finding is that you don't always need all the money you had to get the life you want.  I'm not saying walk away but there came a point for me where living well was the point.  I think that's the point you're at, no? Love Humdinger xx