when should i have a baby?

BornSloppy

Only you and partner should decide when to start trying. I'm 27 but no way i'd have kids now, for various reasons. Try not to get too hung up on your age and make sure your boyfriend DOES want children and isn't using lack of money as an excuse

Gingham_Ribbon

poe.tuesday wrote: »

to be honest with you, no, if she wants a baby then she can have one in the grand scale of things

you don't need money, you don't even need a man these days (other than for the vital bits) so my comment about her wanting a baby is that simple, if she wants one, she can go an have one (as long as there is not an issue with her actually falling pregnant etc), naturally it's not the way that most people want and I am sure it's not what the OP wants, but if the drive to have a baby gets very strong like it does with some women then she can, if she wants, go an have a baby

What was that line in Friends when Monica wanted to have a baby on her own? 'What's that guy's name again? Oh yeah. Daddy.'

Surely going and getting pregnant without your boyfriend's knowledge or approval is the height of selfishness and a recipe for disaster?

Mrs_pbradley936

If you wait until you have enough money you will never have a baby. None of us would! You will manage in the same way that we have all managed. Although I would want to be sure that my partner also wanted a baby and was not just trying to stall because fatherhood was not on his agenda.

Dummie_2

I don't think there's ever a perfect time to have a baby. If you're a responsible person it is only natural to want to give and provide the best for your child by buying your own home first or getting a promotion first. But the fact of life is that nothing usually goes to plan. Even if you are in seemingly perfect circumstances now they can change any time. You just make the most of what you have and make sacrificies for your child.

I do think the main thing is that you and your partner should be in agreement regarding when to start a family.

Eels100

Two things come to mind:
- 25 is still plenty young enough to have years of babymaking ahead of you. If you're not ready in other ways then do not let your age become a pressure.
- your partner is sensible in his approach to savings, but might it be the case that this covers for the fact that he's also a little nervous about starting a family? Men often 'feel' younger then their female peers. If there's even the remotest chance that he might have cold feet then you really must discuss his feelings on the whole baby issue openly and non-judgmentally before embarking on babymaking!

I'm 26 and accidentally pregnant with my first baby - we're in a stable relationship, both working, not married but not really planning to be, and just taken on a big mortgage. In some ways the timing's fine, in others we really could have done with another year or two before baby came along. I think having more savings would have made a massive massive difference to my stress levels, and the options open to me once the baby's born (I have to go back to work whether I like it or not:().

poe.tuesday

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

Surely going and getting pregnant without your boyfriend's knowledge or approval is the height of selfishness and a recipe for disaster?

totally agree but that is not what I am saying or even suggesting, I am just saying that if a woman wants to have a baby then she can have one and does not need anyones approval, plenty of sperm banks out there

laurz

There is no right time to have a baby.
I know someone who's 40 and now doesn't want any now, she wanted to be financially secure first. I have 2 I'm 25 and you always find the money from somewhere.

It doesn't matter how long you've been together it's how strong you are as a couple!
(the baby is usually in your bedroom until around 1yr anyway)

Sounds like you've already made your mind up.
But make sure it's what you want it's hard but rewarding work!

Katie~baby

poe.tuesday wrote: »

there's never a right or wrong time to have a baby IMO, I fell pregnant first time round at the age of 28, I had only been seeing the father for less than a month, we are still together over 10 years and another child later

you want a baby, you go and have one

Same here! I was with my partner for about 3 weeks when i fell with our dd and 7 years later we are still going strong!

I was 19 btw!

I really dont think there is a right time to have a child. Im 25 now and we are thinking of another BUT only because everyone keeps telling me that because our dd is 6 1/2 there will be to much of an age gap! But we are going to wait until we know its right.

Dont make deadlines. eithier you are ready or your not? And you say that you want a baby before you are 30 and your only 25 so plenty of time yet! There is no right time for a baby!!!!

Good luck with whatever you decide!

barrymung

As others have said there's no right or wrong time to have a baby. However, I'd say don't leave it too late but also don't have one too early!

Don't underestimate how bad the lack of sleep is...think of the time when you have been the most tired and then multiply it by ten. That's how tired you WILL get...on a good day!

Have I put you off? No? Then go for it!

I currently have two and don't regret it for a moment. Best thing I ever did.

barrymung

Also, remember that Freecycle/car boot sales can help out with most of the essentials.

Think about it..most baby products get very little wear before being passed on.

I mean, we have clothes for example that have only been worn once, sometimes not at all, before being grown out of. Most of it will go to the boot sale and will fetch 50p if were lucky.

Similarly, we got given one of those baby wrapper things (It was brand new, Cost £30), used it once, didn't get on with it and sold it at a boot sale with a spare cartridge for £2!