Was I over reacting ?

blinkingbank!

I took my children to a friends house today who had a big swimming pool in her back garden-my kids and hers were playing good until the point where my friend THROW my DD (4) in the pool she went under, came back up then went under again my DS (6) who was trying to help but wasnt as he was holding her head under the water so she couldnt get back up, I screamed ran and dragged her out, DD was sobbing I nearly had a heart attack.
My friend then turned round and said "you panic too much"
I am in such an rubbish emotional place right now and TBH I dont know how to take this. I wanted to slap her and go home but I didnt I let it pass but all day she was putting me down, everything I said was wrong...
But at the same time with my emotions being all over the place maybe it's me....
I dont know what Im wanting out of the thread, maybe for someone to tell me Im not going bonkers... :rolleyes:

wifeforlife

No your not over reacting, your dd is only 4years old. I'd panic if it was my dd. It was just one of those instances where your heart stops and you DO panic. I would be more upset at her throwing my child into the pool tbh, but maybe I'm ott with my lil woman

How are you feeling now about it? And how was your dd afterwards?

Cate

blinkingbank!

DD took half an hour to get back in and only when friend wasnt in there !
I feel like im going to have nightmares about it and maybe back away from friend... who needs a friend to put you down all the time ?

bulchy

blinkingbank! wrote: »

DD took half an hour to get back in and only when friend wasnt in there !
I feel like im going to have nightmares about it and maybe back away from friend... who needs a friend to put you down all the time ?

Shes not a proper friend if she keeps putting you down all the time. My oldest sister used to be like this with me all the time, I stopped spending as much time with her, and feel much better for it, shes not a proper friend. Hope you and dd are feeling better now.
Sue

looby75

I wouldn't have felt like slapping your friend....I would have slapped her!

kids can drown in an inch of water, never mind a swimming pool full, you didn't over react IMO.

One word of advice get your dd back in water ASAP, ideally swimming lessons with a qualified teacher, she might shrug this off, but she might not and you really don't want her to get a water phobia.

edit just read you got your dd back in the pool, but I would still recommend swimming lessons if possible.

blinkingbank!

Thanks all, I'm glad its not me that thought I was over reacting DD is starting lessons on the 21st of this month

globalds

I had real problems with my son as he didin't want to learn to swim any more .it took me six months to find out that the one time he whent swimming with his mates and their dad he got out of his depth and no one noticed .poor little blighter was to nervous to say anything but it scared him stupid.
Kids are easilly frightened and being dunked when you want it to stop is well out of order and don't worry about any one elses oppinion but your kids .they would want you to blow your cool and get them out ...
.....well done ...tell your mate to ..think a little bit about what she is doing .

wifeforlife

It wouldnt do any harm to talk it over with your dd and let her know you where very proud of her to get back into the pool, and that these things dont always happen.

Your 'friend' isn't much of a friend to first of all put your dd in danger and secondly to insult you by putting you down. Dont let it get you down though, be proud of the fact you resisted an arguement, your child got back in and you are so a lovely parent and you didnt let your emotions show when you felt at your weakest

Cate

NAR

Totally agree with Cathy about the praise bit for your daughter.
As regards your so-called friend, sorry friends don't continually put each other down, so I would definitely back away from her. I'm sure you can find nicer people for friends.

Nenen

Firstly, so sorry for your awful shock ((*hugs*)) and no, you are certainly NOT going bonkers... it is your friend who should be certified if she thinks this is an acceptable thing to do to such a young child!:mad:

If I was being extremely generous and giving your *friend* the benefit of the doubt, I would guess that, as your *friend* and her children have their own swimming pool they are supremely confident near it and possibly it is all part of their normal 'play' for them to push each other into the water.

If you had said that one of the *friend's* children had pushed your dd into the water then I would have probably accpeted that as the case but would still have reacted in a similar fashion to you and been furious that my little girl had been endangered and frightened so unnecessarily.

However, the fact is, your *friend* is an adult and should know better! She should have enough intelligence and empathy to realise that not all children would be comfortable with this and should NEVER have done this to your dd without asking her (and you) if she wanted to play this 'game'! :mad: Your dd is only FOUR years old for goodness sake!

I am an excellent swimmer and fairly confident in the water but even now I cannot bear to be 'ducked' without warning, having had this done to me by my overbearing cousin when I was a little girl.

If she was a true friend she would have realised from the reactions of yourself and your dd that she had made a ghastly mistake and apologised profusely to you both. It is probably a sign of her guilt that she felt compelled to belittle you for the rest of the afternoon! :mad: :mad: :mad:

I don't think someone who acts in this way should be regarded as a friend and in your position I would distance myself from her ASAP!

poe.tuesday

they are your feelings, your emotions, no-one should judge you on how you feel or how you should react especially when it comes to your children, your so called friend was basically telling you that you were making a mountain out of a mole hill, honey, it's your molehill you make it as big as you want/need to

some people have cavilier attitudes when it comes to their children and just because they do it to their children they think that they can do the same things to others, they don't think about how the children may react let alone the parent and when there is a reaction that they don';t expect they automatically think that it's an over reaction, which it isn't, it's just a different reaction

your friend should have more respect for you and your family, she may well think your kids are soft because they can't be thrown about like hers, let her think what she wants but you put a stop to her doing it again to yours.

you need to tell her that you love going to her house, you love all the kids playing together but that you and your kids are different and that you do not want her being so rough with your children especially around the pool, she doesn't have to agree with the way you bring up your kids but she should respect you and if she doesn't then it's time to say goodbye, which will be her loss