Desperation and Lies

failure

I left school 11 years ago after doing A Levels. I went to uni for one year to a course I didn't want to do, and it was something that would never have lead to a job anyway. I only did it because my parents made me (do that subject). I left it after a year and did a hairdressing course, then I did a few admin courses after that. During that time I didn't have a job as I was looking after my dad, and doing all the housework etc.

As time went by it got harder and harder to get a job because of lack of experience. I tried to get voluntary work, but couldn't as they always say they are over run with people.

I had a job for 6 months as a Betterware representative, but most people in my area either didn't want the stuff, or never really turned into repeat customers. A lot of people messed me about, changed their mind and sent the products back, didn't pay, didn't leave the books out and so on. Not exactly something to put on a cv.

The most recent job I had was about a year and a half ago. It was one of these 'self employed' ones selling computer services for a company. Turned out the employer was a crook, she treated customers like dirt, and gave me no proper contact details for herself, only a mobile number and an email address. She refused to give me her full address, and only told me the vague part of a city she lived in. So no reference. And another blank for the cv.

In desperation, and I know everyone here will disagree and tell me what I am doing is wrong. But I have no choice. I have started to lie and made up a couple of fake jobs. It is only since then that I even started getting interviews. I've got the reference bit covered as best as I can in the circumstances.

It all looks good on paper, but it really does take imagination for the competency based interview questions.

If I don't lie, I'll be stuck on benefits for the rest of my life. I used to feel really guilty about the lies, but after the last employer treated me like dirt, and left me with no proper contact details, I've learned I might as well lie, after all some employers can't be trusted either.

I don't see any other way out. I can't spend the rest of my life in this mess.

Feel free to give me as much abuse and telling off as you want, I'm past caring. Been hurt enough anyway.

If you got this far, sorry it was so long.

jacques_chirac

I can understand that you feel desperate, but you will end up coming unstuck if you keep telling lies. If/ when you get found out, you will be out of a job. That's at best, at worst you could be prosecuted for fraud by misrepresentation.

You mention you cared for your father, have you looked into care work?

Vectis

failure wrote: »

I left school 11 years ago after doing A Levels. I went to uni for one year to a course I didn't want to do, and it was something that would never have lead to a job anyway. I only did it because my parents made me (do that subject). I left it after a year and did a hairdressing course, then I did a few admin courses after that. During that time I didn't have a job as I was looking after my dad, and doing all the housework etc.

As time went by it got harder and harder to get a job because of lack of experience. I tried to get voluntary work, but couldn't as they always say they are over run with people.

I had a job for 6 months as a Betterware representative, but most people in my area either didn't want the stuff, or never really turned into repeat customers. A lot of people messed me about, changed their mind and sent the products back, didn't pay, didn't leave the books out and so on. Not exactly something to put on a cv.

The most recent job I had was about a year and a half ago. It was one of these 'self employed' ones selling computer services for a company. Turned out the employer was a crook, she treated customers like dirt, and gave me no proper contact details for herself, only a mobile number and an email address. She refused to give me her full address, and only told me the vague part of a city she lived in. So no reference. And another blank for the cv.

In desperation, and I know everyone here will disagree and tell me what I am doing is wrong. But I have no choice. I have started to lie and made up a couple of fake jobs. It is only since then that I even started getting interviews. I've got the reference bit covered as best as I can in the circumstances.

It all looks good on paper, but it really does take imagination for the competency based interview questions.

If I don't lie, I'll be stuck on benefits for the rest of my life. I used to feel really guilty about the lies, but after the last employer treated me like dirt, and left me with no proper contact details, I've learned I might as well lie, after all some employers can't be trusted either.

I don't see any other way out. I can't spend the rest of my life in this mess.

Feel free to give me as much abuse and telling off as you want, I'm past caring. Been hurt enough anyway.

If you got this far, sorry it was so long.

Why are you posting here? You haven't asked any questions or looked for advice. I can't see the point of your post unless it's a wind up ("Feel free to give me as much abuse and telling off as you want").

failure

I don't want to do care work, I wouldn't want to be working in a home changing soiled beds and washing people, and that sort of thing. Lets say I don't have a strong stomach. I don't want to face looking after people in those sort of places as its too depressing, I know my dad will end up needing 24 hour care by me in later years as his illness progresses. There's nobody else to help now, and there won't be later on either. He'll end up needing help with everything so I don't want to be around people who are already in that situation, as I'm trying to blank out what lies ahead.

I know there's risk in what I'm doing but I don't see any other way out. I can't stand the no job going on forever and cry about it all the time. Nothing's ever simple is it.

jacques_chirac

failure wrote: »

I don't want to do care work, I wouldn't want to be working in a home changing soiled beds and washing people, and that sort of thing. Lets say I don't have a strong stomach. I don't want to face looking after people in those sort of places as its too depressing, I know my dad will end up needing 24 hour care by me in later years as his illness progresses. There's nobody else to help now, and there won't be later on either. He'll end up needing help with everything so I don't want to be around people who are already in that situation, as I'm trying to blank out what lies ahead.

I know there's risk in what I'm doing but I don't see any other way out. I can't stand the no job going on forever and cry about it all the time. Nothing's ever simple is it.

Life is not simple, but you are making it a whole lot complicated by telling lies.

What are you looking for people to say?

failure

Vectis wrote: »

Why are you posting here? You haven't asked any questions or looked for advice. I can't see the point of your post unless it's a wind up ("Feel free to give me as much abuse and telling off as you want").

Because I have nobody else to talk to. And can't stick the mess my life is in. By posting my situation, people can give advice.
I know people will tell me off and tell me I am rotten for lying but I have no choice.

jacques_chirac

failure wrote: »

Because I have nobody else to talk to. And can't stick the mess my life is in. By posting my situation, people can give advice.
I know people will tell me off and tell me I am rotten for lying but I have no choice.

You do have a choice. You are making the wrong one.

Speak to the National Careers Service for careers advice, and ask your GP for a counselling referral for your life problems.

McKneff

You do have a choice, you are choosing to lie. It never works, lying.

What do you want to do. What line of work are you looking for.

There are jobs out there if you put your mind to looking for one.

Is Supermarket/McDonalds/Bar work beneath what you are looking for.

Do you claim JSA, do you go regularly to the Job Centre.

Bennifred

In your position, I would say why not sign up with a temping agency? Temporary jobs sometimes turn into permanent ones. Even if you do a procession of temporary jobs, you won't have to lie to get them, and eventually you will have earned a genuine reference if you need one.

ILW

Many people have gone onto successful careers after telling massive lies on CVs. Depends how good you are once you get the job.
I am assuming not going for surgeon or similar.

failure

McKneff wrote: »

You do have a choice, you are choosing to lie. It never works, lying.

What do you want to do. What line of work are you looking for.

There are jobs out there if you put your mind to looking for one.

Is Supermarket/McDonalds/Bar work beneath what you are looking for.

Do you claim JSA, do you go regularly to the Job Centre.

What do I want to do? Well at this stage I'd take anything I could get but can't get anything.

What's wrong with supermarket work? Loads of people work in supermarkets and the pay is good. If I got a job in a supermarket, you wouldn't see me for dust!

You seem to think I'm being some sort of job snob, well when I look in the job centre in my area, they want experience for cleaning, care work, office junior, waiters, bars seem to look for previous experience of cash handling and customer facing work. I even tried to get a job at a vets kennels for cleaning out the pens, feeding the animals and taking them out to the toilet but didn't get that either, so I don't think that's job snobbery.

Maybe its the way I've worded my first post that made you think I was being picky, or maybe you're one of those people that think people are only long term unemployed because they're being to fussy and turning jobs down.