Am I being unreasonable?

lottie3000

It's hair it grows back and I really wouldn't let it bother you. Your boys are probably trying to keep you both happy and don't want conflict between you.

Kaz2904

I read this thread the other night and (while I was scrubbing out the kitchen cupboards earlier) it popped into my head that I wouldn't even dream of consulting my kids' father if I was getting their hair cut even with a style change. I have done so before in fact. DD went from very long hair to a short bob a couple of years ago.
Our bet was (as I had had mine all cut off too)... Will he even notice when he gets home from work?
My point being; most parents wouldn't discuss it with the other parent if they are married/ living together so it may not have entered their heads to ask permission for a hair cut. DD was about 8 or 9 when she did this and she knew exactly what she wanted when she went to the hairdresser.
I also remember my nephew being desperate to get his long girly hair cut when he was younger. He was always mistaken for a girl and hated it. His Mum really didn't want him to get a short cut. Eventually he has got it cut shorter but it now resembles a mullet somewhat :eek:

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Pick your battles. A hair cut isn't the most important thing to worry about, and whilst it is annoying, it's not worth getting upset about it.

My ex#1 was furious I let DD get her ears pierced and her hair cut. But realised it wasn't as important as coming to agreement over what school she went to and whether our opinions on discipline concurred. Fortunately, they were very similar - but had we differed, that would have been far more important.

quidsy

I came home one day to my 2 year old looking like a concentration camp victim, hi s dad had a go with clippers. I wasn't thrilled and the barber laughed his !!! off but it grew back and he now decides on the cut himself. At 6 now he enjoys the control and responsibility of telling the barbrr how he likes it. I think the op prob wanted a girl so uses the boys like her own girls world. Lol

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Lovingly combing your sons' hair for hours on end. Honestly, that is dead weird.

Edwardia

I think this is all about you and the control you want over your sons. They may not want longer hair in the summer heat, they may be embarrassed about having nits.

As a child I wanted shorter hair because I was a tomboy. My mother wouldn't let me and it was long enough to sit on. She was still trying to tell me what to wear at 14 ie dresses not jeans. Constant battle. Even at 24 I turned up for a family lunch in a designer dress she didn't like and she attempted to slap me.

It's their hair, not yours. And why should your ex husband's wife have to comb their nits out (eww) just because you want it done, when quite probably the boys don't want longer hair or the embarrassment of their stepmother nit-combing.

If you try to control your kids hair and clothes too much you just push them into rebellion - I ended up cutting my horrible ringlets out which made me have bald patches. It seemed obvious to me that my mother wanted some Alice in Wonderland daughter, not the tomboy she had.

So please, step back before you create a wedge between you and your sons.

jellyhead

It all depends on the boys opinions of their hair, I'd say.

At 11 I suppose the older boy is starting high school. Perhaps he wanted shorter hair. If on the other hand the sweeping fringe is his idea and he is desperate to be an emo or whatever then I think he should be able to say so at his age. If, as a high school child, either of my parents had interfered in my choice of hairstyle I'd have been gutted.

When my eldest started to grow his hair we told him we'd force him to get it cut if he didn't keep it clean and brushed. We wouldn't have stopped him from choosing his own style, but we would have stepped in if it was dirty or tatty. He wasn't keen on washing his hair at the time, but as it got longer he didn't like the feel of unwashed hair so he started to wash it more regularly. He's 17 now and is proud of his flowing locks, but at 12, 13 etc. boys are not always so keen on showering.

Prothet_of_Doom

peachyprice wrote: »

It's hair that grows back. They are 9 and 11 not babies who couldn't protest if they didn't want their hair cut.

Yes, you are being very precious and unreasonable.

Indeed. Fun thing to do with dad.

At aged 8, my mum used to give me the money to get my hair cut, and I remember, at aged 13, when I'd asked for a skinhead, and they'd refused, her dragging me back to the shop and demanding they cut it as I'd asked. She was very into us making our own stupid decisions, if they didn't hurt anyone.