Dreaming of my mum

aileth

My mum had this when her mum (my grandma) died. Every night for at least the first six weeks after she passed, my mum would feel like she woke up in the night and grandma would be at the end of the bed, they'd have a conversation, totally normal, nothing to do with her dying, and then grandma would wish her goodnight and would see her later and my mum would go back to sleep again.

The final dream she had about her was the same scenario but my grandma told me to give us her love and told her how much she loves her. Then she didn't have any more, but even to this day, a good 15 years later, she still sometimes swears she sees my grandma when she goes out walking.

Grief can do very strange things to the mind. I'd like to think the final dream she had where my grandma said goodbye & how much she loves her was my mum's brain accepting that she had gone.

LEJC

OP...How do you feel after the dreams, saddened,comforted,freaked out?

Ive lost both my parents now...Dad many years ago and Mum 6 months ago...its still hard but I think its all part of the grieving and accepting/understanding process that someone is no longer here...and as someone else pointed out you sometimes dream about things that are playing on your mind.

I wonder if they are bringing you comfort or is it something you would rather not be having....
If ive had a dream about my parents its usually been calming on me,what has however freaked me out a couple of times is seeing someone out and about who quite clearly isn't my parent but looks the splitting image of them...thats happened twice on almost as many months!

System

Yes, many times over the years I have had deceased close relatives turn up in my dreams. It's a strange feeling because in the dream they're alive and talking to you, yet part of you is aware that they are no longer with us.

A school-friend who'd died young appeared in a dream and we got to hug and say goodbye.

I think it must be the way our brains are processing the various emotions and feelings we're going through, not all of which are on a conscious level.

GuineaPigsRock

I'm a lurker but I had to log in and post a reply to this.

My partners mum passed away suddenly last year and we would both have dreams of it all been a huge mistake and misunderstanding etc we also needed to clear the house and she was a bit of a hoarder and we got rid of so much stuff mostly by it going to the tip because there was no where else for it and we would both dream of her turning up like "Hello i'm back...wheres all my stuff"

The dreams do pass though but you will occasionally have an odd one or two, but from my prospective its quite normal.

nzmegs

I think is part of the normal grieving process. I also had dreams about my Mum for months after. Sometimes I would wake up in tears. it took around a year before this stopped.

My dad died recently but i don't dream of him at all yet - my relationship with him was very different and i think the dreams show you had a special relationship.

CKgeordieinlondon

Can I also say how sorry I am for your loss.

My mother died 16 months ago and my dad 26 years ago and they both pop up in my dreams from time to time. So I think it is normal,and as others have said it is a way for your mind to cope and make sense of it all.


Take care xxx

Ames

I'm sorry about your loss.

My mum died two and a half years ago, and in my dreams she's still alive. My dreams are vivid anyway and are almost an alternative life for me (they follow on from each other). In my dreams there's even an explanation for why I think she's dead - that someone else died in her hospital bed and everyone thought it was her. She's starting to appear in my dream life less now though.

So yes, I think it's perfectly normal.

LutonGirl

Yes Red Devil, same happens to me with both parents. Mum not so much now but it's nice when I do dream of her.

Guinea Pigs Rock - I had a really similar dream about my Dad, but it wasn't to do with clearing his stuff, it was to do with closing all his accounts and finishing up energy provider accounts etc. In my dream my 86 year old Dad told me he was looking for work because I'd closed his bank account and he couldn't pay his bills. So sad, but it was nice to see him one last time. And I convinced him not to look for a job.

soolin

My darling dad died 2 years ago after having vascular dementia for 4 years which was horrible as I felt I lost my dad when he had the episode that made him demented.

I do still dream of him and he is always well, just as he was before his stroke and like the others I am always surprised and usually say 'but you are dead'.

The last time I dreamt about him he told me to make sure my sister knew he was alright now and he was happy.

KxMx

I lost Granddad nearly a year ago and still dream about him. Sometimes out of the blue and sometimes when I have been talking about him. Usually in the dream I am aware he is dead and this is not reality but I seem to know while in the dream to enjoy it. Most of the time I feel comforted when I wake, other times not.