Have anyone have had a boss who is a psychopath?

gwen80

Coraline wrote: »

Spot on...I mentioned in this thread that I'm already receiving mental health treatment as a result of this (almost had a complete breakdown a while ago) so I know I couldn't handle fighting an uphill battle. Way too many things on my plate at the moment.

From what you've posted OP, you have a lot on your plate...supporting your family, preserving your immigration status, looking after your mental health and trying to carry on in a very stressful role while you find something else.

I was sexually harrassed at work a few years ago and chose to 'fight'. I don't regret it, but it takes a real toll. In your circumstances, I'd probably 'fly' as well. Get your CV up to date, look around for other roles, tailor it to fit the role and try and get yourself out of there asap.

Best of luck

Gwenx

silverwhistle

Coraline wrote: »

I agree, and I think the way this one works is to wear people down until they leave and that way it keeps him/her in the clear...because people don't want bad references or like you say going through the painful process of grievances/tribunals whatever.

I don't know if anyone here works in HR, but do you keep records of staff turnover percentages by department/section/boss?

I'd really want to know why certain areas had such high turnover. Don't they do exit interviews? Why not ask for comments once someone is safely employed in another job?

Southend1

silverwhistle wrote: »

I don't know if anyone here works in HR, but do you keep records of staff turnover percentages by department/section/boss?

I'd really want to know why certain areas had such high turnover. Don't they do exit interviews? Why not ask for comments once someone is safely employed in another job?

If they do realise they have a bullying manager on their hands there's not a lot they can do. If they acknowledge it they leave themselves open to legal action for not protecting other employees from the bullying behaviours. That's why HR will never deal with a bully.

wheezy57

I am suffering a nervous breakdown as a direct result of managerial bullying. I grew a pair and a spine and it all came to nothing. She was totally ring fenced and supported (!) and protected. I was not afforded that luxury.

Coraline you and I have exchanged PMs and I am sorry to read that you are still in the thick of it. It is a worrying time for you and I know you wil make the best decisions for you and your family.

My ex-boss has caused me so much grief and anxiety that I nearly committed suicide earlier this year. I am wondering if its me that has the problem? But no, this is where I have to pull my thoughts back and know for certain that she is the problem and manifested all her problems onto me - in dollops.

I will never ever win (winning is not the right word here possibly) but I would like her behaviour to be recognised by her peers and managers as being potentially very dangerous AND her actions to be recorded on her personal file for the future to see.

Thats just never going to happen and I have been told that by a senior manager. She will never go through what I have gone through and that sickens me to the core.

duchy

A genuine one - only once - He was a really nasty person and a control freak - he revelled in bullying staff and paid top wages to keep his staff. I left after six months making it clear no amount of money made up for his behaviour. Ironically- he offered more money......I made it clear I might have stayed for an apology and a better attitude but no amount of money would be enough in isolation. He was gobsmacked......

Poor managers who play bullying or power games to hide their own inadequacy......a few - but I don't put them in the same catagory.

PenguinOfDeath

I did work for someone who displayed most of these traits mentioned, they were cocaine induced however...

ticiag

Coraline wrote: »

Oh my god! That's really shocking. I hope that guy went to prison.

Hi Coraline,

Just to clarify there were 2 different bullying incidents in different parts of the country. The workmates of one all wrote letters and the bully was sacked. I can't remember the outcome of the other now.
My point was that these situations are very common sadly and the outcome can be fatal.

"My" bully was very clever. He was known for this type of behaviour. I stood up on my own when I was targeted and took it through all the right channels, involved the union, wrote everything down etc. I won't go into detail - I moved geographically, he moved sideways.
With hindsight it wasn't worth it for me personally.

I hope you find a way out easily. Your plan of action sounds ideal.
I know we all like to look after each other and to put a stop to this sort of thing but in practice be wary.
One day there may be someone he comes up against who is far better than him at the power game and he will come a very nice cropper.

Takeaway_Addict

Southend1 wrote: »

If they do realise they have a bullying manager on their hands there's not a lot they can do. If they acknowledge it they leave themselves open to legal action for not protecting other employees from the bullying behaviours. That's why HR will never deal with a bully.

Never? don't talk rubbish.

Southend1

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

Never? don't talk rubbish.

I'd be interested to hear about any cases you are aware of where a bully has been dealt with officially by HR.

As I said, admitting it is happening leaves them open to claims for not protecting staff from bullying behaviours, so it is not in their interest to acknowledge it let alone deal with it.

Takeaway_Addict

Southend1 wrote: »

I'd be interested to hear about any cases you are aware of where a bully has been dealt with officially by HR.

As I said, admitting it is happening leaves them open to claims for not protecting staff from bullying behaviours, so it is not in their interest to acknowledge it let alone deal with it.

Statistically you know you are wrong. There will have been plenty of cases where a bullying manager has been dismissed through the help of HR, employees and their bosses alike.