Have anyone have had a boss who is a psychopath?

Coraline

Oh my god! That's really shocking. I hope that guy went to prison.

loony2012

I once had a boss whose a psycho. He owned a business i worked for and we were busy and low on staff. I wanted lunch so walked off only for him to come from home and bail out his truck. Pick me up and chuck me on back seat. Took a sh4t load of verbal abuse off him. Threats to kill.

Needless to say i didn't go back..

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Southend1 wrote: »

OP if you follow this advice the bully is likely to turn it back on you and your colleagues and make out she herself is the victim.

For your own sake, don't try to take on a psychopath. She may not win in the end but she will make you seriously ill or worse in the process.

Your answers are always 'run away' or 'what does your union rep say'. Some of us have the balls to actually stick up for ourselves and make a stand. The grievance procedure is there for a reason, and making a bully think that they have been observed, and are being monitored is the best way of reflecting back that their behaviour is unreasonable.

OP you do what you want, but just because someone is agreeing with you, and creating empathy to win you over, doesn't make them right. Doesn't make me right either, it's just another point of view. Nobody knows what would happen if you did any of these things, but there are ways and means of dealing with these types of people. Running away to a different job doesn't address the problem as this could happen with any boss.

Southend1

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Your answers are always 'run away' or 'what does your union rep say'. Some of us have the balls to actually stick up for ourselves and make a stand. The grievance procedure is there for a reason, and making a bully think that they have been observed, and are being monitored is the best way of reflecting back that their behaviour is unreasonable

Yes exactly. Fight (with the support of your union - together we are stronger than we would be as individuals) or flight.

Sometimes it is appropriate to do one and sometimes the other.

In the case of a psychopathic bullying boss, I recommend running as fast as your legs will carry you. This is based on my personal experience of trying to stand up to one.

PS- you pulled me up in a previous thread for using analogies based on male body parts as being inappropriate, so I'm surprised to see you use the term "have the balls to..."! I don't take offence at the implication that I am a coward, because clearly you have no idea who or what I am, but I am beginning to wonder if you post here simply to criticise others!

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Southend1 wrote: »

Yes exactly. Fight (with the support of your union - together we are stronger than we would be as individuals) or flight.

Sometimes it is appropriate to do one and sometimes the other.

In the case of a psychopathic bullying boss, I recommend running as fast as your legs will carry you. This is based on my personal experience of trying to stand up to one.

PS- you pulled me up in a previous thread for using analogies based on male body parts as being inappropriate, so I'm surprised to see you use the term "have the balls to..."! I don't take offence at the implication that I am a coward, because clearly you have no idea who or what I am, but I am beginning to wonder if you post here simply to criticise others!

I fight back when people say 'doing this will end up with x, y or z'. In response to your criticism of my initial post. Do you only post on here to try and belittle others? Your way is not the only way; I try and give people ideas that they might not have thought about or that are not already posted. I might not always be right; but am happy to offer suggestions if I can.

Coraline

Funky Bold Ribena:

One thing I've learned in life is you have to pick your battles wisely. I've been through a lot, and learned how to judge situations pretty well. I've learned most from the battles I've lost and don't repeat mistakes.

In this case, in the situation I am in and the responsibilities I have to my family and current state of mind the smart thing to do is leave.

It's not a question of being a coward or not having "Balls" it's a question of doing the logical thing after thinking it through.

Believe me, if my personal circumstances were different and I didn't have to rely on employment as a condition of my visa, I'd go hog-wild filing grievances, tribunals, whatever it took.

But I have people depending on me and too much to lose by risking that at this time.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Coraline wrote: »

One thing I've learned in life is you have to pick your battles wisely. I've been through a lot, and learned how to judge situations pretty well.

In this case, in the situation I am in and the responsibilities I have to my family and current state of mind the smart thing to do is leave.

It's not a question of being a coward or not having "Balls" it's a question of doing the logical thing after thinking it through.

Believe me, if my personal circumstances were different and I didn't have to rely on employment as a condition of my visa, I'd go hog-wild filing grievances, tribunals, whatever it took.

But I have people depending on me and too much to lose by risking that at this time.

I've said I might not be right - it's just a suggestion. you do what you want. But you knew surely when you posted that you could just get another job? So you post, you look at the options and you make a decision. If everyone posted the same 'run away or suffer it' options then what would be the point of posting? Surely it was to get some other ideas. That's all it is, other ideas. I don't give a monkey's if you don't do anything; but other people might and that's the point of responding.

Coraline

Like I mentioned early on in this thread, I posted just because I needed to vent and get these thoughts out of my head. And curious if others are in the same situation. I do appreciate your feedback too, I'm not discounting it, you do have valid points, FBR.

Southend1

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

I fight back when people say 'doing this will end up with x, y or z'. In response to your criticism of my initial post. Do you only post on here to try and belittle others? Your way is not the only way; I try and give people ideas that they might not have thought about or that are not already posted. I might not always be right; but am happy to offer suggestions if I can.

I think you may be confusing criticising an idea in an open discussion and criticising a person.

I don't agree with your proposed solution to this situation, that does not mean I have any problem with YOU personally.

You are correct that my way is not the only way, however I have tried your method of dealing with a psychopath and I can tell you from bitter experience that however it ends, OP would be broken psychologically before the battle ends. This is why I am advocating running away in this particular situation.

You don't agree, fine. OP can make her own mind up. I hope it works out for her, whatever she chooses to do.

I post here to engage in discussion and offer ideas that may help others. You are very welcome to criticise these ideas and propose your own alternatives. However, I do object when people lower the level of the discussion to personal criticism. It's not necessary or appropriate on these forums, so please let's keep to polite and reasoned discussion and avoid any comments that may be perceived as insulting or objectionable to others.

Coraline

Southend1 wrote: »

OP would be broken psychologically before the battle ends. This is why I am advocating running away in this particular situation.

Spot on...I mentioned in this thread that I'm already receiving mental health treatment as a result of this (almost had a complete breakdown a while ago) so I know I couldn't handle fighting an uphill battle. Way too many things on my plate at the moment.