Need some advice......

ladyelegance77

Hey everyone...I need some advice on a situation....

A few weeks ago I messaged one of my good friends to have our usual chat, as we usually do. She replied and told me she couldn't speak as something had happened in her family and she needed to deal with it. I understood and left her to it. Its been nearly 3 weeks since that happened and we have barely spoken. I sent her a message a few days after saying I hope she was ok as I was concerned, she replied and said she was ok but wanted to be alone. So I left her alone. I know for a fact shes still speaking to her boyfriend every day and her family too. Her sister got married last week and I sent her a nice message telling her I hoped it went well. She replied and said thanks. I havent spoken to her properlu since late July and shes been posting on Facebook and Twitter and she just hasnt been in touch really.....she did reply to my text from Saturday this morning....all I said was Im always here for her and she replied with 'Thanks'. Am I taking this way too personally or what? I just dont know what to do anymore.....she would tell me if id done something.....I know that much. What shall I do? I miss talking to her....I did tell her that. I feel like she just isnt going to bother anymore.....

wiogs

You could suggest a meet up for a coffee/drink/meal or whatever you might normally do.

If those don't produce a response then you just have to wait until (if) she is ready to resume communication.

Errata

If she's a good friend of yours why aren't you talking to her on the phone?

Dunroamin

Why don't you just pick up the phone and speak to her rather than keep texting?

ladyelegance77

I have tried that....she doesn't answer.

poet123

Phone her. A good friend of mine has a medical issue hanging over her and she has told all her close friends that she doesn't want to see anyone until it is resolved. We understand, people are all different, but we are keeping in touch by phone.

Do you know what the issue is?

ladyelegance77

To make it clear I have called her....she doesn't answer or it goes straight to voicemail. I have tried every form of communication.

HeadAboveWater

I'd probably be thinking the same as you OP, but I am an overthinker, usually to detriment of my sanity

How well do you know her family? Maybe contact one of them to check all is ok?

She's not answering her phone to you but is answering texts. Maybe suggest a coffee/film/girlie evening and see what the response is? Maybe put it across that you're in need of it yourself??

aileth

Seems like very odd behaviour indeed... and it also sounds like you've tried to provoke conversation and she has been unwilling to engage. I'd leave it for now, maybe send a message along the lines of, "I'll leave you alone as I know you're dealing with something, but please contact be as soon as you feel ready as I miss you", and then leave it. If she contacts you again, great. If she doesn't, well, not much you can do. I'd be quite interested to know what this thing is that happened in her family that makes her unable to talk to a best friend about anything whatsoever?

ladyelegance77

She's made it clear that she wants to be alone. I just want to help her and be there for her. All she said about the issue was that she had found out something bad in her family and needed time to deal with it.

Brighton_belle

ladyelegance77 wrote: »

To make it clear I have called her....she doesn't answer or it goes straight to voicemail. I have tried every form of communication.

Then I think you need to do as she asks and leave her alone for a bit. It's tough for you, but she has asked for space. You have shown in numerous ways you care and are available when she is ready.
Maybe going on FB is a light relief and quite different from having to talk in depth about something she is not ready to.
I would expect her to be talking to her boyfriend and family everyday and don't see that as a problem.