Housemate threatened me to leave

fruitedeli

I haven't seen him for about a week. He never told me he's going on holiday or whatever. There was over a dozen of glass cups in the sink, which I noticed but didn't clean. Today he left me a note saying if you can't be arsed to do a simple task emptying the sink, why would anyone do anything for you?! I suggest you sort it out or find somewhere else to live cause I'm not putting up with it.

He left me this note in the kitchen, but the glass cups were still there. Another housemate who was away returned today and cleaned it up, and told me those cups came from that guy's room.

I've been studying for my exams lately and don't have enough time to sleep. I still clean up after myself, but why should I have to clean up after him?!

This guy once gave me a lift when I moved in, and once I left a wet towel on the floor by mistake, instead of helping me out he places it in my food cupboard.

thorsoak

If you cannot follow the house rules, then find somewhere else.

Surely the wet towel in your food cupboard was hint enough that this was someone who expected everything to be in place!

marisco_2

thorsoak wrote: »

If you cannot follow the house rules, then find somewhere else.

Surely the wet towel in your food cupboard was hint enough that this was someone who expected everything to be in place!

Apart from one incident regarding a wet towel the OP has followed the house rules. She states that she tidies up after herself. Her housemate could have politely told her that she had forgotten to pick up the towel, instead of placing it in a food cupboard. That action was not necessary and does nothing to encourage give and take. As is storing glasses in your room, as confirmed by another person sharing this home, expecting someone else to clean up after you and threatening them to leave if they don't.

I don't see that she should be the one to find somewhere else to live, when he is the one being out of order.

thorsoak

If the OP is the last one in the house, and others have accepted that that is they way they live - then OP should be the one to leave.

Personally - I should be out the door like a shot - I would not tolerate being spoken to/addressed in such a tone.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Write back telling him to flounce out if he doesn't like it...

unluckymike

Leave a note posted to his door stating that if he wishes to be infantile and leave notes of complaint then to grow a set of !!!!!!!! and man up and speak directly to you.

This in my view would be welcomed for a wee dose from the praise or discipline side of the hand.

Treevo

Who owns the house?

fruitedeli

Treevo wrote: »

Who owns the house?

We're both tenants with signed contracts to a landlord. He's lived here for several years. I've been here for almost a year, and on a monthly rolling contract.

What really frustrates me is him calling is a 'simple task' and then making it look like I've been ordered to do something and failed. He never told me he's going to be away for several days, and never asked me a favor to clean his glass cups, and how am I to know he was relying on me to clean it?

I'm not his servant. I don't see why I should 'sort it out' or leave, like I have some attitude problem when he's the one who didn't bother cleaning up after himself.

Treevo

fruitedeli wrote: »

We're both tenants with signed contracts to a landlord. He's lived here for several years. I've been here for almost a year, and on a monthly rolling contract.

What really frustrates me is him calling is a 'simple task' and then making it look like I've been ordered to do something and failed. He never told me he's going to be away for several days, and never asked me a favor to clean his glass cups, and how am I to know he was relying on me to clean it?

I'm not his servant. I don't see why I should 'sort it out' or leave, like I have some attitude problem when he's the one who didn't bother cleaning up after himself.

So ignore him or speak to your landlord about his behaviour. But if he's lived with there without issue for several years - you'll probably be the one leaving.

hannah899

As a girl living in a shared house with 2 men all I can say is get out while you can. I spent 4 years and one always washed up and tidied up and always cleaned the bathroom and sweeped and mopped floors and vacuumed up. the other had a nice bedroom with a really nice new bed. within 4 days of us moving in he started sleeping on the sofa he started having piles of plates hidden all over the place and would once a week get a binliner and throw everything away. He'd even through pans and utensils away because he couldn't be bothered. It was even worse with his share of the bills. Within the last year it was "ill pay it " 2 days later,are you paying bills? "I already payed it at the shop" well the payments missing have you got receipt so we can tell them " no I lost it/ they didn't give me one". Last year he got a girlfriend who moved in instantly. Then he started cleaning the kitchen. Then it started to get cold and he'd come in and ask to put the heating on and that his girlfriend was cold. we told him its not on because its not getting paid. Then Last October they sent a very nasty letter and his brother rang their nan and she paid off all the debt. He paid the next one and that was it. Then the week before xmas they went to stay with her family. It wasn't till mid febuary he came round and told us he was moving out. His reason was his girlfriend hated we didn't clean up and that it was to cold. She lived there a year and cleaned the bathroom once????? cold??????? you live here to you and your boyfriend take your finger out of your a***s and pay your share of the bills. It annoys me so much They couldn't scrape £30 a fortnight between 2 for the gas but now they have there own flat pay all therir bills and have a 42 inch tv and satellite tv. I wish id have moved out earlier. now we have another house mate and all is swimmingly. but that was 4 years I could have done without

Ash_McCloud

hannah899 wrote: »

you live here to you and your boyfriend take your finger out of your a***s and pay your share of the bills.

Whilst it shouldn't be any concern of yours what housemates get up to in the privacy of their rooms, I do appreciate that it would have been nice to remove their fingers for long enough to fulfill their financial obligations.

OP, if it was such a simple task then why didn't he do it before he left? Anyhow, lowering yourself to his level would just be petty, so if I was you I'd just reaffirm that you're happy to tidy up after yourself, so you expect the same from him.