What to think?

DUTR

Gigervamp wrote: »

I'd be tempted to send a text back and say "Oh, OK then. Bye." And then don't contact her.

Bet she'd be texting you straight back though.

The folowing is as follows

Me: It was me that text you today, however as mentioned before life isn't about you ????, remember that for other aspects of your life, and that is a friendly tip x
Reply: I will take your tip on board, good luck ahead, No more texts from me bye bye
Me: The texts were few and far between anyways, but do take the tip on board as your attitiude right now is going to work against you when you least want it to.
Reply: **** off!
Me: And that's the sort of thing I'm on about, it doesn't affect me, but if those that make the descisions pick up on that, then you will not achieve your wishes.

balletshoes

DUTR wrote: »

The folowing is as follows

Me: It was me that text you today, however as mentioned before life isn't about you ????, remember that for other aspects of your life, and that is a friendly tip x
Reply: I will take your tip on board, good luck ahead, No more texts from me bye bye
Me: The texts were few and far between anyways, but do take the tip on board as your attitiude right now is going to work against you when you least want it to.
Reply: **** off!
Me: And that's the sort of thing I'm on about, it doesn't affect me, but if those that make the descisions pick up on that, then you will not achieve your wishes.

so you lectured the drama llama by text :rotfl: - just ignore her from now on.

Gigervamp

Yeah, I'd just ignore her from now on. Just don't reply to her texts and maybe block her number.

DUTR

balletshoes wrote: »

so you lectured the drama llama by text :rotfl: - just ignore her from now on.

Gigervamp wrote: »

Yeah, I'd just ignore her from now on. Just don't reply to her texts and maybe block her number.

No need, as mentioned it was not the 1st time she has behaved that way, she did not require lifts (and I wouldn't be offering anyways) as the place she works is within easy walking distance, put it like this when it snows with the traffic it is definately quicker to walk to work than drive.
As spoken about earlier, it was the money thing, as if I was supposed to say "oh I can get you the money until your card and pin arrive" It seems a bit late to be not having the security for emergencies that a CC may allow.

Anyways a bit of background on the 'lecture'
her youngest son was taken by the NRP and now lives with him, he won't let her see the boy, this has been going on for a few years now (as we know usually the Mum is the PWC) , anyways after chatting about it one time I said she could apply via the courts for contact/access (just as Male NRPs would have to), cut a long story short there was abit about why the Dad was able to move the Son and assume residency which my aquaintance had missed out, and she had missed this bit out of the court application form where it asks has SS ever been involved? However I know that shouldn't hinder her case too much, but what will IMO is that the courts act in the interest of the child, but my aquaintance is about ME ME ME, as I told her they may grant access via a contact centre in the beginning and it slowly increases as she is able to prove herself. But proving herself as reliable means being relaible and curbing that temper tantrum, cos to me if CC or the courts pick up on that (and I'm sure the father may use that as a blocking point) then things may not run in her favour at all.

January20

DUTR wrote: »

A brief summary , an aquaintance's car had failed a couple of weeks back (expensive repair cam belt fail) ,

now then on Monday I sent a text asking

Me: When do you get the car back?
Reply: Get the car back this week

other texts occasional texts until Wednesday, then on Saturday I sent a text which included

Me: Have you had your car back?
Reply: Car was ready Wednesday, but haven't had pin number or card yet.

then 6 hrs later
Reply : Thanks for a reply. When you need a friend there is no one. Don't text again goodbye!


After that a couple of too-ing and fro-ing texts, but what puzzles me and hence my question is the text 6hrs later.
Is there something I may have missed?

I've read a few of the other posts but not all so it may have been said before. My first thoughts when I read your posts were:

1. The text wasn't meant for you.
2. The person wanted some help and gave you (what they thought were) clear hints that they needed/ wanted some financial help and got upset when you didn't offer.
3. When you got the last text, what did you do? Did you think about calling them for a chat to clear the air?

But having read what you said later about this acquaintance, I would say leave it and delete her number! (although I know for those of us with a conscience it's more difficult than it sounds!)

DUTR

January20 wrote: »

I've read a few of the other posts but not all so it may have been said before. My first thoughts when I read your posts were:

1. The text wasn't meant for you.
2. The person wanted some help and gave you (what they thought were) clear hints that they needed/ wanted some financial help and got upset when you didn't offer.
3. When you got the last text, what did you do? Did you think about calling them for a chat to clear the air?

But having read what you said later about this acquaintance, I would say leave it and delete her number! (although I know for those of us with a conscience it's more difficult than it sounds!)

This is a thing between men and women sometimes, in point 2, there is no need for hinting, just ask a closed question (the answer would have been no anyway), of a quck straw poll, £2k or thereabouts, I would only loan to 1 younger brother or one ex GF as I know if they really required it (and I had it spare at the time) they would be good to repay as their word.
Some people you can loan to, some you just know there is going to be some hard luck story to follow.
Point 3 I didn't / wouldn't ring which is probaly the other intent, as I don't have a home phone and my 600mins mobile allowance would soon get depleted early in the month, it's not as if the aquaintance couldn't have called.
Point 1 the text was meant for me as it included my name (I wish it was meant for somebody else

marisco_2

DUTR wrote: »

your attitiude right now is going to work against you when you least want it to.

I think the above sums things up perfectly. I am guessing her attitude is the reason why this person is an acquaintance of yours rather than a friend, despite you knowing her for a long time. I wouldn't blame anyone for keeping a person at arms length, when they react so rudely to basic common sense advice.

She is lucky to have someone so grounded and level headed as yourself available to turn to. I hope she recognises this before she burns her bridges with you too. Keep on with the tough love because sugar coating things to appease her, or spare yourself loads of vitriol will only make her worse and cause her all manner of problems. Someone needs to talk some sense into her, though I imagine that would be a bit like :wall:

Sensibility

I feel that what has happened here is a classic case of miscommunication, not reading between the lines etc. which is all too easy to happen when friends/acquaintances text rather than speak to each other the majority of the time.

I once misunderstood a text a friend sent me (though I'm a woman, supposedly able to read between lines, but I can't!!!!) I was really upset, but after I'd calmed down, I phoned her and we sorted it out.

My advice would be to speak to her if you want to keep and value your friendship, but if not, delete her number and move on

January20

DUTR wrote: »

This is a thing between men and women sometimes, in point 2, there is no need for hinting, just ask a closed question (the answer would have been no anyway), of a quck straw poll, £2k or thereabouts, I would only loan to 1 younger brother or one ex GF as I know if they really required it (and I had it spare at the time) they would be good to repay as their word.
Some people you can loan to, some you just know there is going to be some hard luck story to follow.
Point 3 I didn't / wouldn't ring which is probaly the other intent, as I don't have a home phone and my 600mins mobile allowance would soon get depleted early in the month, it's not as if the aquaintance couldn't have called.
Point 1 the text was meant for me as it included my name (I wish it was meant for somebody else

Point 2: Completely agree with you about asking a direct question: no hints or anything like that! It annoys me when people don't communicate properly, and it's not because people text or use Facebook or whatever else!
Point 3: thanks for the explanation
Point 1: I can't believe the cheek of the acquaintance then! and refer back to my last comment: delete her number and cut ties with her - if your conscience will let you

alias*alibi

I read between the lines and it seems to me she would like to be more than an acquaintance and/or hoped you felt the same way. I.e. rushing to answer questions with a negative response before you had a chance too so she doesn't lose face etc...