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Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues
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When you are in the throes of labour, he may agree to anything.lostinrates wrote: »Really? That works?
Tell me, is it more effective than in the throes of passion?
Well, it certainly doesn't work the other way round. LNE and I had chosen DS's name weeks and weeks earlier, and neither of us had so much as hinted at having second thoughts, and then there we were in the car on the way to the hospital in the middle of the night, in labour, and he suddenly said "How about Matthew?" I don't dislike the name, although it had never been on any of our lists of possibles, but all I could say was "I can't think about that now. Please can we stick to what we've already chosen?" He said, "Yes, sorry, I don't really want to change it, it was just a thought" and nothing more was said about it. I think it was just a bit of cold feet at the enormity of having a child, with choosing its name symbolising all the rest of it.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
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Yes, its a guilt trip for putting you through so much pain.
That's what killed my parents marriage. ( took. A while, but definitely started with that) . He stopped seeing her as sexual. She was very sexual and he was a bit 'meh' anyway. She told both her kids that the maternity ward was. no place for husbands as a result of that. ( I don't know or remember what happened with siblings dad and birth and sex life, he was certainly more rampant than mine).
Anyway, its always been a bit of an offset against the negativity of the situation, because if I had got pregnant, I know that would worry me:o0 -
WE do initials for DDs quite often - it is shorter to type I think....0
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lostinrates wrote: »I love the name Ruth. Something I have little of , lol.
English spelling of Elizabeth. Another time I feel 'not terribly British'. Its a name I write reasonably often with an s.
Edit I don't think one is better or worse, its just I'm programmed to 's' first. I prefer 'z's to 's's though. Zs are spicey and independent and tough and proud, whilst an s is insidious and wily and hypnotically charmingly two faced.
Hmm. I think I might over personalise the alphabet.
I've never come across anyone spelling it "Elisabeth" apart from in fiction, I think. My mother's Elizabeth, which is another reason I really like the name - I think a lot of us have views on names partially influenced by people we've known called that - I dislike Deborah, becuase she was the hair-pulling nasty little cow at my primary school. But my mother's lovely, so Elizabeth as a name is, too.
Most people call her the full lot (my Granny's doing, she didn't believe in short names) although my Dad and a few other old friends call her Lizzie. But there are lots of other short names for Elizabeth, to avoid confusion. Beth, Libby, Eliza, Betty, Bessy - I don't like all of those, but do like some of them....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
lostinrates wrote: »Really? That works?
Tell me, is it more effective than in the throes of passion?
I don't know, I don't remember asking OH for anything while I was in labour, apart from the odd pillow and so forth! Perhaps I should try this time?...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
Well, it certainly doesn't work the other way round. LNE and I had chosen DS's name weeks and weeks earlier, and neither of us had so much as hinted at having second thoughts, and then there we were in the car on the way to the hospital in the middle of the night, in labour, and he suddenly said "How about Matthew?" I don't dislike the name, although it had never been on any of our lists of possibles, but all I could say was "I can't think about that now. Please can we stick to what we've already chosen?" He said, "Yes, sorry, I don't really want to change it, it was just a thought" and nothing more was said about it. I think it was just a bit of cold feet at the enormity of having a child, with choosing its name symbolising all the rest of it.
Mauve squeaker ....whose real name is a type of candy, was called Clothilde for the first while. And the months leading up to her arrival when we used to say 'yeah, we'll get a couple of cats and call them pink whistley and Clothilde' but she just wasn't a Clothilde. If we'd named them the other way round it might have worked, but......they are who they are. 0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »I don't know, I don't remember asking OH for anything while I was in labour, apart from the odd pillow and so forth! Perhaps I should try this time?
Definitely. Go for something big. Like......a giraffe.0 -
lostinrates wrote: »That's what killed my parents marriage. ( took. A while, but definitely started with that) . He stopped seeing her as sexual. She was very sexual and he was a bit 'meh' anyway. She told both her kids that the maternity ward was. no place for husbands as a result of that. ( I don't know or remember what happened with siblings dad and birth and sex life, he was certainly more rampant than mine).
Anyway, its always been a bit of an offset against the negativity of the situation, because if I had got pregnant, I know that would worry me:o
How odd. I mean, I've heard of that happening, but I've never actually known anyone it had happened to. To me it suggests a difficulty in seeing a woman as a whole person, multifaceted but nevertheless integrated.
Oh, and lir, I hate to remove your offset, but if caring for you through all your illnesses hasn't managed to put fir off seeing you as sexual, I doubt that childbirth would. I've so seldom seen any husband as obviously besotted with his wife as he is with you, no matter what. Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
lostinrates wrote: »That's what killed my parents marriage. ( took. A while, but definitely started with that) . He stopped seeing her as sexual. She was very sexual and he was a bit 'meh' anyway. She told both her kids that the maternity ward was. no place for husbands as a result of that. ( I don't know or remember what happened with siblings dad and birth and sex life, he was certainly more rampant than mine).
Anyway, its always been a bit of an offset against the negativity of the situation, because if I had got pregnant, I know that would worry me:o
OH said the opposite - he felt he saw and was close to the inner-NDG in a way otherwise not possible, and thought it a wonderfully intimate and important experience. I'm pretty sure he didn't see it as sexual in itself (it's not) but he said it made him love and value me more than before.
It certainly hasn't put him off, either - the near 9 year gap between babies isn't a consequence of no-sex-for-9-years (-:
Obviously there's a bit of a break from sex when you've just had a baby, while everything sorts itself out, but not more than that, at all....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
NDG - How about Amos? Or Joel? I know small boys called both of those.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0
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