Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues

PasturesNew

I'd not say I have depression, but I do seem to have a long-lasting "low mood" situation going on. I think that's because I can't plan anything and don't know what will happen - so stay in as I've nowhere to go and daren't spend a penny "in case" I need it.... and going outside involves spending money in some form or another.

But it's not depression. Just a sort of cloud of general hopelessness.

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'd not say I have depression, but I do seem to have a long-lasting "low mood" situation going on. I think that's because I can't plan anything and don't know what will happen - so stay in as I've nowhere to go and daren't spend a penny "in case" I need it.... and going outside involves spending money in some form or another.

But it's not depression. Just a sort of cloud of general hopelessness.

There is a link between financial worries and depression. There is also a link between the general hopelessness and an inability to step outside and get on with stuff. I don't think the weather helps.

Did you ever complete the benefit claim forms? Trying to survive below benefit levels is causing you unnecessary concern.

silvercar

Generali wrote: »

No need to apologise and I hope my reply to you didn't prompt the apology.

My choice really is between raising it at school or with DOCS. I don't know which is the better approach really. I don't want this to be simply swept under the carpet.

If the schools over here are anything to go by, they won't deal with anything that didn't occur in school.

I would bite the bullet and speak to the parents. If they are embarrassed that their home videos were left on view, they will be more careful in future.

silvercar

When someone continually moans that they are not getting attention and if no-one is going to show them some attention they will stomp off to their room, you leave them to it. At least that is what we would do with 3 year olds and 13 year olds.


Does the same thing apply when they are 73?

PasturesNew

silvercar wrote: »

Did you ever complete the benefit claim forms? Trying to survive below benefit levels is causing you unnecessary concern.

No, but they did arrive.

Generali

silvercar wrote: »

If the schools over here are anything to go by, they won't deal with anything that didn't occur in school.

I would bite the bullet and speak to the parents. If they are embarrassed that their home videos were left on view, they will be more careful in future.

Fortunately schools in Australia see themselves as the heart of the community. There's less of a 'not my problem' attitude by-and-large.

michaels

Our kids are so sheltered from the nasty side of life that they still don't get the 'fork on, fork off' joke that I rather naughtily inroduced as a practice phrase for DD2 when she was having speech therapy for her 'f's (used when setting the table for example). I was really surprised when DD1 came back with some choice words written in her note book by a classmate and it wasn't one of the classmates I would have expected.

However it is probably now reaching the stage where we do need to start letting her know much more (she is 9, 10 next summer) as I also don't think it is fair on her to be the one who has no clue what her classmates are talking about and getting teased for it. May be time for a quick google for suitable teaching material (with DW or I doing the googling and filtering of results!)

LydiaJ

John_Pierpoint wrote: »

Sorry to say it but I think PN is nearer the truth.
It is "a bank" that has been robbed so far (mortgagees in possession). The local tax payers may be next in line depending on the reaction of the local authority.
There might be an element of you have had my property off me so I will s h a f t you about the situation.
This is a classic way of getting paid for clearing waste (illegally), devaluing a plot of land and scaring off any other would be purchasers, and then making a cowed local authority pass planning permission for over development; it might take 10 years but it will happen.

I expect the nice law abiding people of Bournemouth, cannot believe such gangsterism could happen there, those of us living in "the edgelands" know it could break out anywhere.
Anyone want to make an offer for this:

Unpleasant, but yes, I can believe in a deliberate strategy like that. However, would they do that to a property that had people living in it at the time? Or find a property that was temporarily empty and do it there? I don't live anywhere near a place where it has happened, so I don't know about these things.

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

Why is there a fully laid out dining table and chairs .... in the double bedroom (pic 6).

I think that's the bit described as the granny annexe. Presumably it's supposed to be used as a large bedsit for somebody who likes entertaining!

michaels wrote: »

Having carpets in the kitchen and bathroom is just rank

The carpets in the bathroom aren't just on the floor either, they go all the way up the sides of the bath and the pedestal of the basin!

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'd not say I have depression, but I do seem to have a long-lasting "low mood" situation going on. I think that's because I can't plan anything and don't know what will happen - so stay in as I've nowhere to go and daren't spend a penny "in case" I need it.... and going outside involves spending money in some form or another.

But it's not depression. Just a sort of cloud of general hopelessness.

It could be depression, PN. Not feeling able to plan anything can be a cause of depression but also a symptom of it - the way you describe how difficult it is to make decisions about choosing a house. I don't suppose you'll want to go to talk to a doctor about it at this stage, but perhaps you could begin by researching it online.

LydiaJ

silvercar wrote: »

When someone continually moans that they are not getting attention and if no-one is going to show them some attention they will stomp off to their room, you leave them to it. At least that is what we would do with 3 year olds and 13 year olds.

Does the same thing apply when they are 73?

Good question. Has she been a demanding and manipulative person all her life? If so, then this is just the usual process of character strengths/weaknesses of all kinds getting more marked in elderly people, and the "leaving them to it" strategy sounds good. Alternatively, if this is out of character, could she be suffering from depression? If so, it's a lot more difficult, because you'll have to try to find a way to persuade her to get treated, which she probably won't like the idea of.

I read a brilliant book on dealing with people like that. You might find it helpful. It's from a Christian perspective but you could skim over those bits and there would still be plenty that's relevant. It's here. There's another one by one of the same authors that might also be helpful that's here.