Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues

Generali

HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »

It's supposed to snow here next week. :T

Ah yes, I remember why I left London. It's going to be mid-20s and lovely by Wednesday.

PasturesNew

vivatifosi wrote: »

I was watching an American programme whose property specialism was buying the houses of hoarders in foreclosure. He reckoned $75k to clear the site and then about $20k to make good damage. Enabled him to make about $100k profit per house. I'd be worried about the roof on that house as well though, looks like they may have been fly tipping by helicopter.

I'd just flatten it though ... no point renovating something tatty that you don't like. Flatten it, clear the site.... build new without VAT. At least that way you know how it's been built etc and you're not wasting time working round somebody else's poor decisions.

But the address is "marked" and I'd not sleep easy at night, wondering who/what was headed that way or lurking in the bushes.

vivatifosi

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'd just flatten it though ... no point renovating something tatty that you don't like. Flatten it, clear the site.... build new without VAT. At least that way you know how it's been built etc and you're not wasting time working round somebody else's poor decisions.

But the address is "marked" and I'd not sleep easy at night, wondering who/what was headed that way or lurking in the bushes.

Absolutely, if I were you I wouldn't touch it with a bargepole. You don't need that degree of risk or stress.

Generali

lostinrates wrote: »

I think its regrettably young to know about ins and outs of enjoyable pursuits like oral sex and the complex ins and outs of why and what for besides reproduction. I don't necessarily think its to young to know that sex is something adults and animals do and involves making babies but its not for them to worry about yet out .

In fact if the making babies and mechanics aspect were more understood and less related to personal kicks maybe their would be fewer unplanned babies made? Dunno.

When I was 8 I used to leave the room if James Bond kissed a woman. My son is the same. If I'd seen a porno I don't think I'd have even been able to turn it off, I'd have legged it out of the room! This boy has apparently watched for some minutes to be able to see 2 different acts.

My fear is that this boy is being abused in some way so that sex has become normalised as a part of his life. I don't know whether to approach the school or to go to DOCS (Social Services) or what to do. It's not like he has an older brother that might have shown him as he only has a younger brother. I suppose it could have been a cousin or something.

Doozergirl

Need to catch up on the thread, but I've not long woken up and it's deathly quiet outside. The M42 is still closed from 1pm yesterday. There was a man threatening to jump from the motorway bridge.

What amazes me is that lots of (the less understanding) people on the social networks are asking how others know that he has a mental health problem. The total ignorance of mental health issues amongst people is astounding. It's starts with people who don't believe that depression exists and is a way to get off work, and ends with someone who works with 'physically and mentally ill people' and still doesn't understand how people know that the reason for a man standing the wrong side of a motorway bridge is mental health related.

These people could have mental health issues themselves and not ever realise it because they expect people to have some kind of physical defect to give it away. This is probably the reason that the poor man is standing there, or certainly the reason that many others have - nobody understands when there doesn't seem to be anything wrong on the outside.

Doozergirl

Generali wrote: »

My fear is that this boy is being abused in some way so that sex has become normalised as a part of his life. I don't know whether to approach the school or to go to DOCS (Social Services) or what to do. It's not like he has an older brother that might have shown him as he only has a younger brother. I suppose it could have been a cousin or something.

I think being shown by anyone casts a shadow on the situation of the person showing him, even if it is an older cousin, they should know that the material is very naughty and not to show a small child?

I think you should tell school. Leave it to them to approach the child's family, if that is the context in which your son knows him? If the parents are good and loving parents, I don't think they'd be able to look you in the eye afterwards. It might be better that it's dealt with in a more anonymous way.

Generali

Doozergirl wrote: »

I think being shown by anyone casts a shadow on the situation of the person showing him, even if it is an older cousin, they should know that the material is very naughty and not to show a small child?

I think you should tell school. Leave it to them to approach the child's family, if that is the context in which your son knows him? If the parents are good and loving parents, I don't think they'd be able to look you in the eye afterwards. It might be better that it's dealt with in a more anonymous way.

Yes, I'm not going to approach them directly.

The Kid is a pretty good friend of The Boy, I think they play together most lunchtimes. The Kid is not a Bad Kid but he's not a Good Kid either IYSWIM. My concern is for him really.

Being a parent throws up all sorts of unexpected conundrums. It's like living in the Moral Maze.

Generali

Doozergirl wrote: »

Need to catch up on the thread, but I've not long woken up and it's deathly quiet outside. The M42 is still closed from 1pm yesterday. There was a man threatening to jump from the motorway bridge.

What amazes me is that lots of (the less understanding) people on the social networks are asking how others know that he has a mental health problem. The total ignorance of mental health issues amongst people is astounding. It's starts with people who don't believe that depression exists and is a way to get off work, and ends with someone who works with 'physically and mentally ill people' and still doesn't understand how people know that the reason for a man standing the wrong side of a motorway bridge is mental health related.

These people could have mental health issues themselves and not ever realise it because they expect people to have some kind of physical defect to give it away. This is probably the reason that the poor man is standing there, or certainly the reason that many others have - nobody understands when there doesn't seem to be anything wrong on the outside.

I feel very strongly about mental health. As someone who has lived with people who suffer from depression it's easy to want just to say to them, "Pull yourself together. Get out of bed, go to work and just bloody well get on with it".

Unfortunately for the sufferer it just isn't that simple. Many men will drink to suppress the symptoms and often times the loser that you see drinking from a brown paper bag is just trying to treat a disease that many despise him for.

For many, going to work with depression is as likely as being able to run a marathon with a broken leg. Unfortunately, lots of people seem to want to use an invented mental illness as a way of getting more benefits. They should be ashamed of themselves frankly but unfortunately many simply see the benefits system as a cow to be milked rather than a last resort.

Doozergirl

Generali wrote: »

Yes, I'm not going to approach them directly.

The Kid is a pretty good friend of The Boy, I think they play together most lunchtimes. The Kid is not a Bad Kid but he's not a Good Kid either IYSWIM. My concern is for him really.

Being a parent throws up all sorts of unexpected conundrums. It's like living in the Moral Maze.

Sorry, I did mean that it would better in terms of safeguarding if school dealt with it, but that it also might be kinder for the parents, if there is nothing sinister going on, if they didn't known where it had come from.

Generali

Doozergirl wrote: »

Sorry, I did mean that it would better in terms of safeguarding if school dealt with it, but that it also might be kinder for the parents, if there is nothing sinister going on, if they didn't known where it had come from.

No need to apologise and I hope my reply to you didn't prompt the apology.

My choice really is between raising it at school or with DOCS. I don't know which is the better approach really. I don't want this to be simply swept under the carpet.