Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues

PasturesNew

silvercar wrote: »

Finance is another issue. I didn't realise that Dad did everything, so she gets in a state everytime a bill lands because she doesn't know what to do. She also has "money guilt" that Dad worked all his life and now can't enjoy spending his pension/ retirement pot. So she is reluctant to spend anything on herself.
I have offered to help with the finance, but she is very private about their money.

Finance is a big problem.

PasturesNew

michaels wrote: »

One of our Spanish students was 33 and when she arrived she said she and her partner would definitely want kids sometime...fast forward 1 week with our 3 and she said she wasn't nearly so sure....

Business opportunity - you could rent yours out to people who think they might want them.

PasturesNew

misskool wrote: »

It only aggravates me that I can't get a referral to get a small prescription when single mothers can get IVF. But what do I know, clearly it's a public health benefit to fund single mothers

</bitter mode off>

If it helps, I don't see why IVF is funded at all. If I were running the NHS I'd do it on a loan basis, with loan rates and costs "at cost", so not profit making, but not a financial drain.

Not having kids isn't life threatening, there needs to be an "At Cost, Vanity and Preference Service" separate.

misskool

PasturesNew wrote: »

If it helps, I don't see why IVF is funded at all. If I were running the NHS I'd do it on a loan basis, with loan rates and costs "at cost", so not profit making, but not a financial drain.

Not having kids isn't life threatening, there needs to be an "At Cost, Vanity and Preference Service" separate.

If everyone wasn't funded, that's fine. but if there is funding parity that's where I have an issue. Even if we could take an at-cost loan that wouldn't be a problem but that doesn't happen.

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

If it helps, I don't see why IVF is funded at all. If I were running the NHS I'd do it on a loan basis, with loan rates and costs "at cost", so not profit making, but not a financial drain.

Not having kids isn't life threatening, there needs to be an "At Cost, Vanity and Preference Service" separate.

misskool wrote: »

If everyone wasn't funded, that's fine. but if there is funding parity that's where I have an issue. Even if we could take an at-cost loan that wouldn't be a problem but that doesn't happen.

I agree with both. While its a tough call, and I say so knowing how hard it is not to be able to just do what one wants and expects in this area, its not IMO, something the NHs should be asked to do. Resources will always be stretched in an NHs, and I feel cancer drugs and better access to drugs and groundbreaking treatment for things like Parkinson's come before IVF (and a number of other things).

A whole raft of things came into our decision not to make any provision for future fertility treatment. Ethically I stand by them all, Emotionally I don't blame anyone for feeling differently.

PasturesNew

I think one way for people to understand priorities is to ask them the following:

If your other half needed surgery to live - and you wanted a baby by them, but would need IVF - but there was only the money for one. Which would you choose?

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

That's actually obscene. Not that such products can exist, but that they're sold on (some) High Streets..... as if it's "normal" to buy/spend that!

It makes everybody think they should be affording it ... and out comes the plastic without them thinking about it.

Review isn't that glowing either.

But, I reckon it would last a while at least. ( I was planning to work it out in cigarettes then got bored.....)

(I wouldn't buy it personally)

lostinrates

Not an amethyst bath but....

http://www.westonebathrooms.com/baths/free-standing-baths/solid-onyx/

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

In the olden days mums would buy a pack of party invites and we'd write them out and take them to school, they'd then return a tear off section at the bottom.

Mind you, I had myy last birthday party aged about 10 - and there'd have been about 4-6 neighbours' kids and the school was 800 yards away.... so not much chance of getting it wrong/lost.

They still do - although the invites usually feature phone numbers for parents who prefer to reply by text. This system breaks down, however, when the child's birthday is right at the end of the long summer holiday. You have to send the invites out before the end of the previous term, but the people receiving them take one look at the date and think "Oh, September. I'll reply to that later." DD's party is on Tuesday afternoon. Their term starts on Wednesday. Her birthday's actually on Sunday, but I thought Tuesday would be likely to generate fewer replies of "Sorry we'll still be on holiday then".

lostinrates wrote: »

Not an amethyst bath but....

http://www.westonebathrooms.com/baths/free-standing-baths/solid-onyx/

That doesn't appeal to me. I don't like the "seam" down it - it looks as though it would leak (although I'm sure it doesn't really). Get the amethyst one.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

They still do - although the invites usually feature phone numbers for parents who prefer to reply by text. This system breaks down, however, when the child's birthday is right at the end of the long summer holiday. You have to send the invites out before the end of the previous term, but the people receiving them take one look at the date and think "Oh, September. I'll reply to that later." DD's party is on Tuesday afternoon. Their term starts on Wednesday. Her birthday's actually on Sunday, but I thought Tuesday would be likely to generate fewer replies of "Sorry we'll still be on holiday then".



That doesn't appeal to me. I don't like the "seam" down it - it looks as though it would leak (although I'm sure it doesn't really). Get the amethyst one.

Ok, I'll use all the money I am saving not buying 550 pound skin scream when I go in to spend also awful amounts in the same shop for the bath fund.