Friend issue

tryingtocutback

Thanks all. I do feel really hurt and, yes it was her idea to meet this weekend and where, that is until she booked the holiday and then couldnt spare a fiver to have lunch with me, or even the money for coffee.

Now I realise this has been going on for ages. I have turned a blind eye to it because I dont have many friends. Well I would actually rather have none than one like that. I have replied with a "no problem" message and I will leave it at that. Sorry for ranting and thanks for reading.

bagpussbear

OP I said in an earlier post you should get a little balance back, yet still you agreed to meet somewhere that was 50 miles from you, and yet round the corner from her. Silly decision in my opinion.

It's obvious she doesn't think much of your friendship, you deserve to be treated better - drop her. I would be tempted to say well you have money for your holiday yet can't afford to meet me for a £2 coffee, get stuffed you selfish tight moo. She will get the message then, lol.

Seriously though, move on, she aint no friend of yours ....

an9i77

Although it can be tempting to go in there and say what you really think, I'd advise walking away with dignity (as you have done). I don't know if your 'friend' is like mine, but beware of showing any anger or frustration as she may then use this against you, or as an excuse to end the friendship.
Note I did not use this approach, I was so hacked off that I ended up writing a sarky email saying I wasn't going to bother anymore, and whilst I felt good at the time expressing myself I think in retrospect I would have been better off keeping my dignity and just saying nothing as I then got the accusatory 'you are being rude/upsetting me' email reply which was the nail in the coffin really.

Easier said than done though!

tryingtocutback

Further update:-

I have stuck to my guns and only email/text her now if she contacts me. I am friendly but don't really go out of my way to make arrangements to meet or anything.

She emailed me all about how she was off to see a friend with her birthday present and what she had bought her etc (was she trying to wind me up! lol). Just made me feel annoyed to be honest.

Anyway, I have basically decided to let the friendship fizzle out - I just don't feel the same way now that I have realised its pretty much one way. I do feel sad about it because I don't have that many friends but it was too much like hard work on my part since I would have to go all they way over to her and then she would let me down at the last minute.

So, I need to get myself out and about and make some new friends!

Thanks all for listening!

lulu650

tryingtocutback wrote: »

........She emailed me all about how she was off to see a friend with her birthday present and what she had bought her etc (was she trying to wind me up! lol)......

I really hope you don't bother replying to this email. Presumably she has plenty of money left after her holiday then?

tryingtocutback

exactly!

No, I didn't reply.

lulu650

Good for you!!

skattykatty

Well done!!! All the energy you've been using on this 'friendship' is now free! Who knows who you might meet or who you might get to know even better.

tryingtocutback

I know I have probably been over-sensitive about the whole thing but I have really stood by her over the last year or so after her marriage ended - really put myself out to email/call her every single day for the first few months and to listen to the in's and out's of it all and then continue to check in with her regularly since then to make sure she is ok. I don't mind that because that's what friends are for but it generally isn't reciprocated.

She's one of those people that feels like everything is ok as long as she is ok (if you know what I mean!).

So, I will now put myself first. I am looking online to perhaps join a book group or something locally to meet new people.

ognum

just wanted to say well done on being debt free