Wedding present - is this a bit cheeky or am I tight

Yorkshire-Lady_3

Lucie wrote: »

I'd be tempted to send her a bill, with a line added in the bottom saying that you will generously donate the amount straight to the hospice on her behalf, once you have received it!

Love it!!:rotfl:

Debt_Free_Chick

Running_Horse wrote: »

What a lovely idea. Wish we had thought of it for ours, as we have everything we need. The Argos list was a real struggle, and some commented how boring the choices were. Do you really begrudge making a small donation to a good cause? In answer to your question, yes, you are being a little tight. Is it really worth creating bad feeling?

They are making a donation. They are donating £450 of their time as this is what they've lost by doing the DJ for nowt.

It's the Bride that's benefitting here, by saving £450 - so why should she demand even more?

kay41_2

I bet they will take some of the money from the envelopes, or am I being really cynical. I once did the photos for a friend's wedding in colour and black and white, and got the colour ones of the day developed and put in an album which I gave to them in the evening. She was delighted and I said this is my wedding present to you. They were good photos and she couldn't afford a proper photographer.

I have also heard of some acquaintances of mine who compared what everyone had bought them for their wedding and assessed what they had spent and compared it to how much they earned e.g. fancy only buying that when she earns that per year - when this was mentioned by the friend who was party to the conversation, they !!!!ed a lot of people off!

I would certainly casually mention the value of the gift and the fact that you will have to charge if she wants you to donate to the hospice as well. That will cool her down!

Welshlassie

kay41 wrote: »

I bet they will take some of the money from the envelopes, or am I being really cynical.

I don't think they would do this as they are both very passionate about why they want to "help" this hospice (her mother and one of his grandparents died there), but it does make me wonder how much they are expecting from people if our gift isn't enough.

Dan_Thunder

kay41 wrote: »

I would certainly casually mention the value of the gift and the fact that you will have to charge if she wants you to donate to the hospice as well. That will cool her down!

That's a good idea if she brings it up again. Just say that you can't afford to pay a donation as well as give them a £450 present. It's one or the other.

Mrs_A_4

Brides can often get a bit "high horsey", forgetful or opinionated. Perhaps she feels everybody should rush to donate to her charity - and who is going to argue against charity to her face?
IMO, demanding donations is as rude as demanding any gift. I wouldn't bother on principle. Perhaps drop the cost of your services casually into conversation, but be prepared for her to get arsey about it!

Destined_to_be_skint

Cheeky, definitely cheeky. Time is money! I would be careful how you go about broaching the matter though as you don't want to spoil the friendship. I've already recruited a friend of mine to do my invite graphics and the first thing I said to her was "Would you do this as your wedding present to us?"

I don't like the way she is keeping tabs on who has donated and who hasn't. Wedding presents are not compulsory, and many people have strong feelings about donating to charity as it often gets spent unwisely or on flashy dinners! I'm not saying this is the case with this hospice but remember the tsunami appeal?

Welshlassie

Well we went to the wedding, DH did the disco and produced the video guest book DVD in the week after, we haven't heard from them at all, not acknowledge receipt of the DVD or to thank us for the present. But after speaking to some of my other friends who went to the wedding and donated they haven't received a thank you either.

Next time she wants any form of favour she can go get knotted.

floss2

Perhaps you could contact the hospice & ask if they have had a donation from the happy couple on behalf of the guests - or go & look in their donations book

delightful_2

could not agree more what a liberty!!!! how about you ask how much of a donation they are putting to the charity after all they are saving a fortune on the entertainment!! good luck with it all x