Wedding present - is this a bit cheeky or am I tight

nats3006

i know where i would tell her to get off cheeky mare!!!

nearlyrich

I agree with most of the posters here who say that the gift worth £450 is more than enough.

Bendybops19

Will they actually know if you have donated anything? I would just tell them you have! (yeah i know...thats lying...but its the easy way out!)

nats3006

Bendybops19 wrote: »

Will they actually know if you have donated anything? I would just tell them you have! (yeah i know...thats lying...but its the easy way out!)

Great minds think alike

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Didnt dare say it first though :rotfl: :rotfl:

Welshlassie

Thanks everyone for your comments. Dh realises it means he will be working to some degree, but will be arranging to premix a load of CD's with the type of music they want in advance so it will be just a case of put in each CD. If people want requests they can go whistle.

We seeing them on Sat night so it will be interesting to see if she mentions it again and if she does I'll offer to bill her for the services and donate that.

They put donation envelopes in the wedding invitations. Not sure if they will be opening them and then donating the full amount or what, but this way they get to see who has donated. I think they are also able to get a list of people who donated directly to the hospice so people can be thanked.

misty

If you don't want to confront her directly about being a cheeky, rude cow. I would make a small donation via the envelope and put your name on it. Inside with the donation you could put a message suggesting she donate £225 to the hospice - half the amount she would have had to pay for your OH's services if they had had to pay.

I think she thinks it is not costing you anything as he the gear etc but as you say it is costing you a nights fee that you have turned down to do their wedding. To be honest anyone telling me what I should be doing would get short shrift.

When my friends have got married - they have either said don't get us anything or get whatever you want.

Running_Horse

Welshlassie wrote: »

We've been invited to a friends wedding in a few weeks time. They have been living together for a few years and have decided that as their house is all set up they would like people to donate to a local hospice that they both have a connection with instead of presents.

{Snip}

What does everyone else think? Am I being tight or are they expecting too much?

What a lovely idea. Wish we had thought of it for ours, as we have everything we need. The Argos list was a real struggle, and some commented how boring the choices were. Do you really begrudge making a small donation to a good cause? In answer to your question, yes, you are being a little tight. Is it really worth creating bad feeling?

RadoJo

I still don't understand why they want to monitor what people are giving by putting the envelopes in with the invitations? When people ask for donations instead of flowers (eg at funerals) I have never know it to be anything other than direct to the charity or organisation. Surely charity is a personal matter - if people need to be on a list to be 'thanked' then this clearly is an excercise for show, and if not, then why not just pass on details of how to donate direct and save themselves all the trouble of getting in the middle? Are they asking people to make cheques out to them or the hospice directly? It all seems a bit weird to me - at first I thought they were doing a generous thing, but they way they are going about it seems very odd.

pinkshoes

you should lightly drop it into conversation: "you were joking the other day about us having to make a donation, as well as getting you a present worth £450 weren't you?"

If she says she wasn't joking, then reply "Well, i hope you won't mind us charging you £200 for the disco then, because we're a little strapped for cash this month because we couldn't earn money loaning the disco equipment out to someone else that night..."

SeptemberBaby_2

The thing is if they weren't asking for charitable donations would they ever have said 'you are getting us a present/giftvoucher aren't you'?! Not likely!

Personally, I would just put a nominal amount in the envelope as its for a good cause and I would feel bad not to but its up to you. I can see where you're coming from as you are saving her a huge amount of money but maybe she doesn't realise the disco is 'your present' to them, rather its just friends helping out? Believe me, there are some thickskinned people out there!

I hope it all gets resolved and you have a lovely time.

x