Does he drink too much..?

paulineb_2

Coconut wrote: »

Thanks to all, he knows I don't like his behaviour and he knows my past history but we've never get anywhere talking about it, for him it's not too much and it's perfectly normal, and I'm the one who's being paranoid and unreasonable.. I'm worried this is affecting our relationship.

He sleeps well after drinking (no better or worse than without) and he feels ok in the morning, so it doesn't really cause him any issues..

On the outside no, but on the inside yes. That level of alcohol is putting him at risk, just because its normal for him doesnt mean its healthy, its not healthy at all

And if its affecting your relationship, theres a clear issue already

bitemebankers

peachyprice wrote: »

One or two bottle over the course of a week fine, 4-5 bottles not so. How long before it becomes a bottle every night?

Exactly. It's a slippery slope. Drinking a single bottle of wine to yourself meets the definition of binge drinking. Doing it several times a week definitely constitutes a significant health problem, before you even consider the damage it's doing to your relationship.

From what you've said though, I do wonder if this is more a case of self-medication for intolerable stress rather than a classic substance abuse problem. You already mentioned he's under a lot of stress at work - perhaps that's the angle from which you should try to tackle it?

Instead of going in and directly raising your issue with the amount he's drinking, try asking about the reasons why. And, if he won't talk to you about it, suggest he sees his GP. If you couch it in concern for what's causing the drinking rather than the drinking itself, you might get a more positive response.

As you've had experience with alcoholics, it's probably tempting to fear the worst. Try not to dwell on that though. It may well be that some changes at work, or a change of job, may be the medicine that's needed, and he won't feel the need to drink heavily if not completely stressed out.

hayday75

I had this problem with my partner ,first it was 4 beers twice a week ( which was ok ) but when he started a new( stressful ) job it quickly turned in to 6 cans every other night .
I spoke to him about my concerns and he agreed it was all getting a bit too much & thankfully he has cut right back again .
Some people drink to forget stress but unfortuntely it just makes things worse as too much alcohol can lead to depression

**professor~yaffle**

paulineb wrote: »

I dont drink wine these days, if I did, Id buy one of the small bottles. The thing is about wine, unless you live with someone who drinks as well, once its open, 3 glasses and its gone and its 3 large glasses.

I wonder if this has something to do with it. He might feel embarrassed about going in to the supermarket and buying those little 'billy-no-mates' bottles of wine :rotfl: so he just buys a normal size bottle?

neverdespairgirl

It sounds like a lot, to me. A bottle of wine is likely to be 9.5 to 10 units, and about 650 - 700 calories, too. That's a huge amount to be drinking on your own, to my mind.

I also think that people who open a bottle and "oooops, it's all gone" are already in some trouble with their relationship with alcohol, as that doesn't happen to most people.

paulineb_2

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

It sounds like a lot, to me. A bottle of wine is likely to be 9.5 to 10 units, and about 650 - 700 calories, too. That's a huge amount to be drinking on your own, to my mind.

I also think that people who open a bottle and "oooops, it's all gone" are already in some trouble with their relationship with alcohol, as that doesn't happen to most people.

Im not so sure to be honest. I could drink a bottle of wine of an evening, I dont, but I could. Actually these days I probably couldnt given that its been about a year since Ive had more than one glass of wine at a time, either in the house or out.

If someone went to the pub and had 3 glasses of wine, I bet it would take them longer to think, wait a minute, thats a bottle? And I bet a lot of people would think nothing of going out on a Friday or Saturday night having 3 glasses of wine each or 4 pints. I bet that even though that they have drunk whats the definition of a binge, they wouldnt think of themselves as binge drinkers. And thats before you get people who drink all sorts of alcohol in the one night, including shots and cocktail mixes. I was out last Christmas with a couple of people who bring minatures with them and adding in those minatures to cocktails, you would probably be looking at 16 alcohol units plus, over just that one evening. I couldnt have done it, but thats normal to some people for a big night out.
Im not saying it should be, but it seems to be.

Im aware a lot of people dont binge drink, but many people do. In my local wetherspoons I see people out all day every day, a lot of retired men sit in the pub and I bet you that is their life, you see big groups of them together and the same faces.

A lot of people who go out on a weekend might consume their weekly alcohol intake on one night. You'll also get the people who are sensible. And every variation in between.

As has already been said, it depends on the alcohol percentage as well, a lot of wine is 12-14 per cent. You'll get your 4 per cent bucks fizz etc and also there are more wines that are sold with lower alcohol, my mum buys one thats 4 per cent alcohol, its made by a well known wine company (I cant recall the name just now)

German wine is lower in percentage, its around 8 or 9 percent.
So not every bottle of wine will have the same alcohol units and the same calories.

Id also say if the OP's hubby is determined to keep drinking a bottle of wine a night, get a wine thats lower percentage, as a start. I think a bottle of 8 per cent wine would have around 6-6.5 alcohol units, still not ideal but better than knocking back a bottle thats 12 per cent and up.

Errata

Can he give it up for a couple of months? If he can't, he's drinking too much.

Goldiegirl

peachyprice wrote: »

One or two bottle over the course of a week fine, 4-5 bottles not so. How long before it becomes a bottle every night?

I had a friend who was drinking a bottle of wine every night

I say HAD a friend, because he was dead at 52.

If it's not affecting his relationship, it'll be affecting his health, and I suggest he gets help now, before it's too late.

Mojisola

Coconut wrote: »

He sleeps well after drinking (no better or worse than without) and he feels ok in the morning, so it doesn't really cause him any issues..

He might feel okay but could still be over the drink-drive limit in the morning.
https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/check-the-facts/alcohol-and-the-law/is-it-safe-to-drive-the-morning-after-drinking-alcohol

If he "needs" to drink, yes, it's a problem.

peachyprice

Coconut wrote: »

He sleeps well after drinking (no better or worse than without) and he feels ok in the morning, so it doesn't really cause him any issues..

At least he doesn't snore when he drinks, unlike my friends husband, they've built an extension over the detached garage it's that bad.

So sad he'd rather be in a different part of the house to his wife and children than not drink every night.