Does he drink too much..?

Coconut_2

Hi,

Been thinking for a while about posting this and finally decide to try.. I'm worried about my partner drinking too much, but I don't know how much is too much..

He drinks a bottle of wine by himself (I don't drink), usually twice a week but lately it's been 4 or even 5 nights a week... is this too much? He stresses a lot about work and this seems to help.

I have a history of alcoholics in my family and other alcohol-related problems so I'm specially sensitive, and I don't know if I'be being paranoid.

Any advice..? Am I being paranoid?

Many thanks

DUTR

1st port of call is to raise your concerns with your partner.

browneyedbazzi

A bottle of wine 4 or 5 times a week will be in excess of what health professionals say is 'safe'. You may find the drinkaware website helpful, this is a link to their self assessment tool:

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/understand-your-drinking

paulineb_2

Yes it is probably too much and it sounds like hes in a habit and yes I understand that a lot of people reach for the wine when they are having stressful times, have been there and done that myself.

Also he needs to be careful drinking on nights during the week if hes driving the next day, dont know if he drives, but it would be easier if he kept the alcohol to weekends.

Also, its a lot of money to spend out and I bet he doesnt go to work everyday feeling fresh after a bottle of wine the night before.

Gigglepig

Too much in a health/medical sense? Yes. and Self medicating with alcohol is not a good idea...

I don't think you are being paranoid. Personally I would also find this level of drinking unacceptable, from a family and financial point of view.

paulineb_2

I dont drink wine these days, if I did, Id buy one of the small bottles. The thing is about wine, unless you live with someone who drinks as well, once its open, 3 glasses and its gone and its 3 large glasses.

I think the issue is that over the years serving sizes of alcohol have gone up, whereas maybe 20 years ago in a pub you would automatically be served a 175 ml measure, now everything has been supersized and a lot of people think, one glass = 1 unit, when it could actually be one glass = 4 units of alcohol.

Wine was always my drink of choice but I dont miss it. I get terrible hangovers if I drink too much. These days if I have a drink I'll have a premixed can or two of something, 3 alcohol units and thats it, or I'll go to the pub and have a soda and lime instead.

It doesnt help stress, it also doesnt help sleep, so many people think when I get a drink in me, I'll be knocked out and sleep better and you might feel like that, but it actually impairs the quality of the sleep you get.

I suffer from insomnia anyway so the last thing I want to do is drink too much and end up feeling twice as crap in the morning.

paulineb_2

If he does want a drink when he comes home from work, hed be much better just buying a bottle or two of lager, I wouldnt say every night or even 4 or 5 nights, but its better than drinking so much wine

Also, he needs to try and get a handle on what is causing the stress at work and try and resolve it, which is easier said than done at times, hitting the bottle isnt the answer, it could just cause many more issues.

Gigglepig

Or have a glass of wine for dinner, hit the gym and/or go see his GP regarding stress management

Coconut_2

Thanks to all, he knows I don't like his behaviour and he knows my past history but we've never get anywhere talking about it, for him it's not too much and it's perfectly normal, and I'm the one who's being paranoid and unreasonable.. I'm worried this is affecting our relationship.

He sleeps well after drinking (no better or worse than without) and he feels ok in the morning, so it doesn't really cause him any issues..

StumpyPumpy

IMO one or two bottles of wine a week is not a big deal - and my alcohol consumption is virtually zero. I think the more important question is why has he increased his consumption to four or five bottles recently. If it is just generic "stress" at work, then why has this increased and why does he now feel he needs to drink more than in the past to deal with it?

I think your best approach would be to find out what has changed at work to trigger this and what, other than alcohol, can help manage or alleviate the increased stress levels he appears to be suffering from.

SP

peachyprice

One or two bottle over the course of a week fine, 4-5 bottles not so. How long before it becomes a bottle every night?