school holidays 15 year old drinking alcohol

red_devil

why do teenagers have to drink and hang around?

Why dont they get a group of people together and play football in a park or a game of rounders etc?

Courgette

MissKeith wrote: »

My parents had a rather relaxed attitude to drinking, allowing me to drink alcohol at home at a young age, I was also drinking with friends at 16. I have never got so drunk I couldn't walk or see, I have thrown up once or twice and quickly learnt my lesson and now at 25 I am pretty much tee total.

When all my friends were getting hammered at 17, I didn't see the point, it was never something I could use to rebel as I could tell my folks that I'd had a drink and they trusted me enough to know I wasn't doing anything daft or getting myself in dangerous situations. On the flip side, the kids I knew whose parents had a very strict attitude regarding drinking went completely off the rails at 18, did know their limits and thought they were the bees knees for passing out/throwing up/getting into fights etc when drunk.

I think it's a good thing that your son tells you when there's drinking involved, that to me shows he's pretty trustworthy. I would have a chat about drinking in public places and how he's liable to get into trouble by doing that but perhaps allow him to drink in moderation at home if he wishes? It definitely worked for me and my family as the novelty soon wore off. For most teens half the fun pf drinking is the the fact that they shouldn't be doing it.

I couldn't agree more! I am also a member of the bad parents club in that I have bought my 15yo alcohol for when he went to a party a few weeks ago. We discussed what I would buy, how much was a resonable amount to drink, the fact that he wouldn't feel the effects of it straight away which didn't mean he had an excuse to just down loads of it. Parents of his close network of friends who I also get on with had a similar attitude and all in all they had a lovely evening.

liney wrote: »

Teenagers also smoke pot. Is that ok too, as long as they are open and honest? It is also illegal.

Smoking pot and drinking a bottle of cider are different things though and then there's pot and skunk which are completely different things. I would hope that in explaining the effects of different substances in a sensible way would mean he was much more likely to listen to me and follow my advice rather than coming down with the 'it's all banned, it'll all kill you' line. I'd like to think that by being open and honest about the effects of say a bottle of cider he'd be much more likely to listen to me when I say that skunk IS banned and here's why...

Many also want to have sex. Give them a condom and send them upstairs? They will do it anyway.

No, I've made it clear that I don't want him to be sexually active under my roof but of course my opinion might change if it turned out he was being sexually active in the local park instead.

This boy is 15 years old. He hasn't even started his last year of Secondary school. I'm really shocked...

Of course given a choice I don't want my boy getting involved with booze or sex for years when there's so much more he could be doing with his life. Plenty of time for all that. I'm not daft though and as much as I don't want him to I need to prepare him for the choices he will have to make and I just don't see how a blanket ban on everything and a refusal to even discuss anything helps the young person in any way.

Galaxy1987

Either way you approach it could have ill effects. You need to judge it on your sons previous behaviour and personality.

I was brought up where I could drink a few drinks as long as it was not in the streets and never get to the stage you are out of it. I started going to pubs and clubs at 16 and would have a few drinks and head home. After a few years I started to get a bit dependant on the alcohol and would drink to oblivion and everyday. Never once got into any major trouble. I am not tee total since i was 21.

However after managing childrens homes, i have seen the opposite. The parents are very strict with alcohol so the child goes behind their back and gets absolutely smashed. they then fail to return home, get picked up by the police, etc. The kids have grown up to be alcoholics, in prison or dead.

It is about doing what is best with that child. It could mean that one child is allowed one thing and the other child something else.

It is about the individual child, is what i am trying to get at.

Mallotum_X

Its a normal part of growing up, far better for him to get used to his limits rather than get to 18 and suddenly start drinking.

When I was a teenager one of my friends parents allowed us to drink at their house. It was safe controlled environment and there was an adult in the other room in case anything went too far. Safer than drinking by the quay.

It is far better that he is open and honest about it and you can discuss these things rather than banning him, which runs the risk of him drinking in secret. Talk through what he is drinking, and go through the risks of the harder stuff. Let him know you are not keen on him drinking but set some rules - no drinking on a school night etc, put in place an agreed curfew that he sticks to. If he was to be home by a certain time and stayed out later I would put more emphasis on that being an issue than a few swigs of cider.

MissKeith

liney wrote: »

Teenagers also smoke pot. Is that ok too, as long as they are open and honest? It is also illegal.

Many also want to have sex. Give them a condom and send them upstairs? They will do it anyway.

This boy is 15 years old. He hasn't even started his last year of Secondary school. I'm really shocked...

The only thing my parents were strict about was body modifications, they were relaxed about drinking, sex and weed. They preferred to educate me rather than lay down the law and kept their fingers crossed that i wouldn't rebel. I drank in moderation underage, smoked pot and was provided with birth control at 15. I chose not to have sex until 17, tried weed a handful of times before realising I loathe smoking, never smoked a cigarette and don't drink. On the flip side, I have eight piercings, three large tattoos and my hair is currently turquoise.

Teenagers rebel, it's a fact and by pretending it doesn't happen and not educating kids to make their own choices is just setting yourself and your kids up for a fail. I think the fact my parents met me halfway on most things took the shine off my rebellious streak, thank god they left me with something to use!

valk_scot

maman wrote: »

You could be right BUT there are definitely parents out there who buy booze for their children. I've met them.

I buy alcohol for my 16-nearly 17 year old DS. Four bottles of lager or cider to take round to a friend's BBQ party, when I know their parents will be there? Sure. Same to drink out on the street? No chance. I also let DS have a glass of cider or one beer when we parents having one with a meal, I wouldn't be wanting him to sit down and drink a full bottle of wine or a dozen alcopops with us in an evening. We don't drink like that, I'm not going to be allowing that sort of drinking in the house. He can save it for when he's 18 and a student.

Drinking on the streets though? Hmmm. Only the local neds do that round here, bottles of Buckfast and tinnies of White Lightning down the park and then off to smash up a few things or play with the traffic. I wouldn't be encouraging that sort of thing if I found my lad doing it, I'd be having a few words.

FatVonD

valk_scot wrote: »

Drinking on the streets though? Hmmm. Only the local neds do that round here, bottles of Buckfast and tinnies of White Lightning down the park and then off to smash up a few things or play with the traffic. I wouldn't be encouraging that sort of thing if I found my lad doing it, I'd be having a few words.

I can see that swigging cans of Special Brew and spray-painting the playground equipment would be pretty anti social but, from the pictures I've seen on DS's faceache, in their case it's a bunch of indie-looking kids chilling on the grass.

I was toying recently with buying tickets to a pop-up cinema because I think an evening sat in the park on a nice evening with a posh picnic and a glass of pina colada sounds like a fantastic way to relax and it strikes me that (minus the movie) that's pretty much what they're doing.

I admit I was was quite surprised though when DS's GF's (very strict headmistress) mum gave her permission (and booze) to take to her prom after party which was in a park from 11pm.