school holidays 15 year old drinking alcohol

moomoomama27

I hope if they are having sex at 15 you would offer contraception if they came to you!! Yes they shouldn't be doing it, but does the bury your head in the sand tactic really work!?

liney

moomoomama27 wrote: »

I hope if they are having sex at 15 you would offer contraception if they came to you!! Yes they shouldn't be doing it, but does the bury your head in the sand tactic really work!?

All I can say it is not a wonder that some teenagers do whatever they please, if parents just say 'Oh well, they will do it anyway whatever I say.' Then enable their bad behavior.

If my son was having sex at 15 i'd be mortified, and on the doorstep of the girl involved. At 15 he is a child, and his actions are my responsibility.

morganedge

liney wrote: »

All I can say it is not a wonder that some teenagers do whatever they please, if parents just say 'Oh well, they will do it anyway whatever I say.' Then enable their bad behavior.

Thing is, they WILL do it anyway!
Some of the kids in my school were having sex in the toilets at school!
You can't supervise them 24/7.
Obviously, you can punish them for such behaviour, but that's a different topic.

anotheruser

laurajane1 wrote: »

we do get on well, i will speak to him about it maybe its pressure from others ive decided he can go out but i dont want him drinking alcohol. He's got plenty of time for that when he's older, but it doesnt get any easier as they get older

Yeah but that isn't going to stop him.
Did it stop you? :P

It's a tough one though.

Maybe come to some agreement that when you go out or have a nice family meal, he can have a cider then. Maybe at the weekend one evening he could have one, but I wouldn't make this every weekend.
This is how I got into drinking alcohol and I've never binge drunk or been drunk before. But then everyone is different.

But good on you for raising someone who doesn't lie! Most kids would have hidden that stuff from their parents, maybe being a younger mum has had a positive effect.

Blackpool_Saver

and this is how it starts.........queue several years of arguing and trying over and over to explain the difference between right and wrong.........a few years later hopefully they have got through it unscathed, unless you are going to keep him on a lead or have him keep running away there is not much you can do, oh and don't expect any help from the police, once they turn 16 apparently nowadays they can do as they please

Dimey

I always get shot down when I say this ... but I'll say it anyway :-)

Now you know your son is interested in drinking I would do my duty and educate him to the dangers if he takes it too far. That way he is fully aware for making his own decisions when you're not there to guide him.

I'd give him information about the law so if he insists on experimenting, he can chose a place where he's least not likely to get arrested.

I'd drive him to view from a distance, a group of youngsters drinking in public so he can see what they look like and how they intimidate other members of the public.

I'd show him hardened alcoholics who drink on public benches so he can see the condition of their health. I'd be tempted to throw in looking at drug takers and smokers too, for good measure.

I'd show him social drinkers in the gardens of a pub so he can see the difference control and self discipline makes.

Finally I'd supply good educational pamphlets about different types of alcohol and drugs and tobacco so he knows what they do to your body if abused.

I'd explain I'm doing all this so he doesn't get continually nagged by his caring Mum. And so that he has strong arguments to confidently use, if he needs to say No to someone trying to persuade him to do the wrong thing or something that will endanger his health or his life or his liberty.

He's now a young man turning into an adult. Over the next few years he will learn to take responsibility and accountability for himself. If he's sensible he'll take note of your education, make wise decisions for himself and not follow the wrong group.

PurpleJay

It's a tough call. At the moment he is being honest with you. If you forbid him to drink alcohol won't he do it anyway and just not tell you? I started drinking at 15 when I left school. it was 1988. My mate and I used to buy a couple of cans on a Friday night and sit on the train station singing songs. I don't think it did us much harm. I never told my parents. I had a 10pm curfew. I think I was 16 1/2 the first time I got drunk at Christmas. They knew about that, I was ill for 2 days! It put me off drinking spirits for a while. In fact I can't drink gin to this day! From about 17 drinking in pubs became a regular thing. I never had a problem getting served and looked older. They rarely asked for ID in town.

I think drinking occasionally in moderation is ok. He will do it anyway. Better you know where he is etc. I would be more concerned about the time tbh.

moomoomama27

liney wrote: »

All I can say it is not a wonder that some teenagers do whatever they please, if parents just say 'Oh well, they will do it anyway whatever I say.' Then enable their bad behavior.

If my son was having sex at 15 i'd be mortified, and on the doorstep of the girl involved. At 15 he is a child, and his actions are my responsibility.

It's not a case of saying oh well, it's a case of realising that they have made a decision, nothing you will say will stop them, and educating them on ways to keep safe, underlying you are NOT happy with this behaviour, would rather they abstain from drinking, conducting in sexual relationships etc...

They WILL do it regardless of you (as a parents) view, whether they are open and honest, or sneak about, they will do it. Often when teens cannot approach their parents is when things happen!

I doubt there are many parents wh want their teens having underage sex, smoking, drinking etc, but it happens, if you know about it, you HAVE to deal with it, that's my point! Theres a difference between condoning things, and keeping your teen safe with the actions they have chosen to do!!

moomoomama27

Dimey wrote: »

I always get shot down when I say this ... but I'll say it anyway :-)

Now you know your son is interested in drinking I would do my duty and educate him to the dangers if he takes it too far. That way he is fully aware for making his own decisions when you're not there to guide him.

I'd give him information about the law so if he insists on experimenting, he can chose a place where he's least likely to get arrested.

I'd drive him to view from a distance, a group of youngsters drinking in public so he can see what they look like and how they intimidate other members of the public.

I'd show him hardened alcoholics who drink on public benches so he can see the condition of their health. I'd be tempted to throw in looking at drug takers and smokers too, for good measure.

I'd show him social drinkers in the gardens of a pub so he can see the difference control and self discipline makes.

Finally I'd supply good educational pamphlets about different types of alcohol and drugs and tobacco so he knows what they do to your body if abused.

I'd explain I'm doing all this so he doesn't get continually nagged by his caring Mum. And so that he has strong arguments to confidently use, if he needs to say No to someone trying to persuade him to do the wrong thing or something that will endanger his health or his life or his liberty.

He's now a young man turning into an adult. Over the next few years he will learn to take responsibility and accountability for himself. If he's sensible he'll take note of your education, make wise decisions for himself and not follow the wrong group.

My Mum did all this to me, but with a rather bury your head in the sand approach! I was told not to do xyz and that was that! Hence I ended up sneaking about, and getting myself into trouble! I think alot of it is down to the personality of the teen! I have always vowed to be open, honest and able to be approached, and while my now teen is doing things I'd rather she wasn't, she is always honest with me, comes for advise, we talk it through, sometimes she listens and other times she doesn't, but whatever her choice I always make sure she's safe, and knows the ramifications of her actions! She actyually surprises me in that alot of what she says she thinks she wants to do, never materialises!

paddedjohn

Sorry OP, but what exactly did you think your 15 year old was going to get up to left wandering the streets till midnight? before you worry about his drinking you should be looking at yourself.