school holidays 15 year old drinking alcohol

FBaby

I think you need to be extremely careful as you approach this issue. You say he has just started going out as otherwise would be home on x-box? Why? Doesn't he have friends he sees regularly (if not in the evening). Did he just start meeting with this boy? Do you know anything about him?

The problem you might face is that your son is lacking social interaction and feeling isolated. He then meets up with a friend, who introduces him to his group of friend, who accepts him and....he feels great with them, his self-esteem is going up and he really likes how being around them makes him feel. He can't be part of that group unless he participates in the drinking....then you come in, say that he can't go out late and drink any longer, and he is faced with the dilemma of respecting you as his mum, or losing the group of friends that made him happy.

I think before you go in and start giving orders of what he can and can't do, you need to ask him what is so special about these kids and try to encourage him to mix with kids his age who don't go out late and drink. The last thing you want if possible is to lose the good relationship you have with him.

Kayalana99

My OH (now 20) has been drinking on the park since he was 12...

Have to admit its usally the people he hangs around with you can't ask him to sit thier and not drink when his friends are its just not going to happen, getting him to come home at a certain time possible but if you say 'dont drink with your friends' he will simply start lying or just blantly say no.

In my eyes its either basicly say he can't go out... or leave them to it and trust he is responible enough not to get caught/bladdered.

Personally I wouldn't know which would be the best thing as I certainly wouldn't want to be the Mum saying you can't hang out with your friends but neither him drinking down the park...

FatVonD

Sign me up for the bad mum club too, I've bought my 15-year-old booze for parties. I'll buy him cider or anything that's pre mixed but neat spirits are definitely not an option.

I'd have been more worried that they were at the quay in the dark and that someone would fall in!

morganedge

It's what 16+ year olds do.
Me and my friends used to go camping and have house parties and stuff with alcohol all the time.

Initially my friends older brothers bought all the beer for us.
And then, one of the lads mums was kind enough to get all the alcohol.

One time, me and my friend tried a ridiculous ruse where we pretended to be adult mechanics talking car lingo in the supermarker, and covered in grease (despite being about 15) and it worked and we got served! lol

Gleek

MissKeith wrote: »

My parents had a rather relaxed attitude to drinking, allowing me to drink alcohol at home at a young age, I was also drinking with friends at 16. I have never got so drunk I couldn't walk or see, I have thrown up once or twice and quickly learnt my lesson and now at 25 I am pretty much tee total.

When all my friends were getting hammered at 17, I didn't see the point, it was never something I could use to rebel as I could tell my folks that I'd had a drink and they trusted me enough to know I wasn't doing anything daft or getting myself in dangerous situations. On the flip side, the kids I knew whose parents had a very strict attitude regarding drinking went completely off the rails at 18, did know their limits and thought they were the bees knees for passing out/throwing up/getting into fights etc when drunk.

I think it's a good thing that your son tells you when there's drinking involved, that to me shows he's pretty trustworthy. I would have a chat about drinking in public places and how he's liable to get into trouble by doing that but perhaps allow him to drink in moderation at home if he wishes? It definitely worked for me and my family as the novelty soon wore off. For most teens half the fun pf drinking is the the fact that they shouldn't be doing it.

Ditto to absolutely all of that.

The 'cool' kids thought they were awesome drinking cheap warm cider or lambrini in the park and causing trouble and drinking so much they passed out or did dangerous things. I could never understand the appeal personally.

I've only ever been so drunk that I've been sick and had a hangover and that was my 24th birthday.

That, an alcoholic grandfather and the 'mystery' being taken out of alcohol by my parents who would allow me to drink in moderation at home (starting with the odd small bottle of beer and glass of wine at Christmas aged about 11) have allowed me to take or leave drink as I wish. I can't remember the last time I had an alcoholic drink, must be a couple of months ago. If I never had another one it really wouldn't bother me.

Carl31

As fbaby says, be careful. Yes, its illegal for 15 year olds to be drinking, and it can be harmful. However, laying down the law and trying to stop it will probably be a waste of time. I think you need to constantly re iterate your dissaproval, but also not penalise him if he goes out and gets drunk. Unfortunately, underage drinking is almost a rite of passage for teens in this country now days, so you can't blame him for being curious.

The last thing you want is for him to feel that he has to try And hide it all from you, he may end up in a place harder for you to get him back from. I think you need some giv and take here, don't buy it for him, but understand that if teenagers want something, they will get it, whether you like it or not

samtoby

I was allowed to drink at home and have friends over (my Mum would have spoken to their parents) and we had a couple of drinks but was all ok. My Mum said it was so she could keep an eye and I didn't mind. It was Hooch we drank I think.

Parents who did not allow drinking and just let their kids out had no wonders of trouble - when is enough enough? What is being handed out with the drink? Who are the drinking budies?

It was only the way for me (above) but I think it was best.

moomoomama27

You can tell them until you are blue in the face, explain the effects, voice your disapproval and lay down the law, but most will still find a way of getting alcohol if that's what their friends are doing!! Many will have older siblings buy it, then they will find somewhere to group and drink! It's been going on for decades, nothing new! Not right, but I think people are a bit naive if they think a curfew, and finger wagging will stop an underage determined teen!

Dontknowanymore

Tel him it's wrong, blah blah blah, but it's what kids always do and always have done.
At least your son feels he can be open and honest with you about what he has been doing, I hope my boys feel the same way about talking to me when they are older.

liney

Teenagers also smoke pot. Is that ok too, as long as they are open and honest? It is also illegal.

Many also want to have sex. Give them a condom and send them upstairs? They will do it anyway.

This boy is 15 years old. He hasn't even started his last year of Secondary school. I'm really shocked...