Son Going To Nursery School

[Deleted User]

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Let him go for a week and see how you feel/he reacts? I would at least give it a trial and see how it goes.

End day your DS can stay out of school untill 5 so thier is no rush but I think it would be wrong not to try he might love it!!

As Kayalana99 said, why not try it and see? If he hates it or isn't ready then you'll know

notanewuser

StressedOutMummy wrote: »

.Thank you Tigs and Pigpen,
I think the problem is with me - don't want to let go.But he is so little - was 11 weeks early and in hospital 3 months so very protective. Everyone who knows me say I should relax around him! I just don't want him to get hurt

I'm a very relaxed parent (mostly) but did find it hard to take her to playgroup and leave her. Took about 3 weeks for her not to grab me tight and beg me not to leave, which is when she started running in to have fun without even kissing me goodbye! She loves it now.

suejb2

You know your son. We didn't send our 2 to pre-school nursery but they did both do playgroup for a few mornings,we didn't want then in the "system" too early as they will be in it untill 18 year old

Tigsteroonie

StressedOutMummy wrote: »

.Thank you Tigs and Pigpen,
I think the problem is with me - don't want to let go.But he is so little - was 11 weeks early and in hospital 3 months so very protective. Everyone who knows me say I should relax around him! I just don't want him to get hurt

The BLISS website has some good information about deferring or delaying school, should you be worried about next year; though unfortunately it relies on agreement from your LEA.

I did think like you for A's first two years, but it became obvious as he approached his 3rd birthday that he needed to learn to be around others. So I spent that autumn fighting to win his place at an appropriate nursery. It's hard for me to say whether, without his problems, he'd have been 'ready' at 3.

Make-it-3

You need to try to objectively look at your concerns and ask yourselff honestly whether they are truly about him or you.

Joining pre-school/nursery is always much harder on the parent than the child. You need to be brave about it, because chances are he will love it. Nothing you've said so far leads me to believe he personally would struggle. Even if he is small, there are likely to others who are littler-than-average too. My LO is and I have never seen this be an issue.

There are so many benefits for him, socialising with other children, learning about trusting appropriate adults, yes he may pick up the odd bad habit, but he may pick up a lot of good ones too; co-operating, sharing, listening, table manners etc and start to get a sense of independence and self-reliance.

The first few weeks may be hard, particularly if he picks up that you are upset, but they amaze you at how quickly they adapt. There is a great satisfaction when they get excited and run into class in the mornings happy to be there, but equally so when they see you arrive to pick them up at the end of the day and tell you about everything they have done.

Of course you could defer taking the nursery place, but if it is because of your feelings they are unlikely to change about letting him go when he's 4, 5 or 16!

pigpen

notanewuser wrote: »

DD was 2 weeks overdue, and is now almost 3. She's mainly in age 2-3 clothes now but was in a 12-18 month outfit last week. :eek:

By contrast the one that is starting in September is wearing age 5-6 clothes... I think I am more concerned about her squashing the tiny ones!

mummyroysof3

Just out of interest OP who looks after him when you work and does he do activities with/without you?

A lot of parents are worried about their children starting nursery. My son has learning difficulties and I'm really anxious about him going to full time school and it involving transport too as its 10 miles away.

jackyann

make-it-3 is right: it is a good idea to look at it objectively, but very, very difficult!
Is there someone you can trust (not just someone who blithely says "he'll be fine!") to talk over your concerns with?

You haven't really mentioned the nursery itself (sorry if you have & I've missed it!). This is what I would discuss with someone:

Am I reasonably happy with the nursery? (you will never be totally happy, but in the big things, are they OK?)
Is my son ready for this? People who are closest to him will have the best idea. Even though you are anxious you will still have a good idea of how your son will be.
Talk to nursery: consider taking him for a short "taster"; ask to stay with him for awhile (a good nursery school will accommodate this).
Don't put yourself down when discussing his needs with nursery: a child this premature will most likely still be rather patchy in his development.

Look at other nurseries as well, if only to get comparisons.
I would broadly say that a child who waits a term or so at this age and goes to nursery better prepared, does better than a child who gets confused by going in too early.

But if you do decide to wait, think carefully about preparing him for the next stage.
Every parent of a child who has been very ill or premature goes through agonies at each stage of development; get yourself some support with this, so that you can help your son.

pigpen

jackyann wrote: »

Every parent of a child who has been very ill or premature goes through agonies at each stage of development; get yourself some support with this, so that you can help your son.

actually I am just having this conversation with DS1 and DIL.. their son was 10 weeks early and is a blob.. he is nearly 14 months and just sitting.. This isn't true for every parent of prem babies.. I wasn't like it with mine and they aren't like it with theirs.. There are a few things they should be concerned about but aren't.. such as a genetic disorder dil's mum suffered from. I think I was more aware when the milestones were reached and watched more closely for them but I was not torturing myself over them..

DS1's main concern at the moment is the undescended testes.. :rotfl:

jackyann

Sympathies.
With so many children, the most sensible thing to do is "watch & wait" and the hardest.
In different times, a young friend of mine was born in July, 13 weeks prematurely. The education authority allowed her to go to school in the year she "should" have been born in, so that she didn't have the twin struggle of being youngest AND still dealing with prematurity.
She did extremely well, but subsequent enquiries say that the Dept. of Education will no longer allow this. A shame.

Pigpen, I do hope that your GS is OK; but you have reason to be concerned. I think many parents focus on something tangible (undescended testis) rather than more nebulous developmental issues. Have just supported a friend through something similar (and we are still "watching & waiting"). Very difficult for you.