Just need to get this all of my chest

harrys_nan

dont want to read and run.
You really sound as if you are depressed, please when you get the doctor, tell him/her everything, even if need be, print off this page. Write things down as you think of them so you have your notes by you when you go.
I think you do need to share with your hubby, he wont know how you feel unless you tell him. Is there any way you can move nearer to where he works so he can come home at night?
Please take care of yourself xx

Faith177

harrys_nan wrote: »

dont want to read and run.
You really sound as if you are depressed, please when you get the doctor, tell him/her everything, even if need be, print off this page. Write things down as you think of them so you have your notes by you when you go.
I think you do need to share with your hubby, he wont know how you feel unless you tell him. Is there any way you can move nearer to where he works so he can come home at night?
Please take care of yourself xx

Thanks I will

I looked into moving down there but the jobs are a lot lower pay than what I'm on now and I can't afford to take that kind of pay cut at the moment as I have my mortgage to pay and not in the position to sell.

Also OH will only be at this pub for 2 years before getting a pub that is 10 mins up the road to us

Dunroamin

Faith177 wrote: »

Thanks I will

I looked into moving down there but the jobs are a lot lower pay than what I'm on now and I can't afford to take that kind of pay cut at the moment as I have my mortgage to pay and not in the position to sell.

Also OH will only be at this pub for 2 years before getting a pub that is 10 mins up the road to us

Doesn't your husband pay the mortgage as well?

System

go to the doctor to get prescribed meds? sad times, not the answer.

sounds to me you are bored OP. Try to improve diet. Healthy food = happiness

sunflower_2

OP as others have said - you are def suffering from depression.

I myself could have written your opening post, although my OH is home and I have kids.

The "fear" of people, feeling the world hates me, is the worst thing for me.

My psych nurse told me I am constantly tired because all of my adrenaline is used in "fight or flight mode", worrying, "thinking" and being constantly in a panic.

CBT does give you lots of coping mechanisms, but you may also need medication. (citalopram made my fatigue worse to the point of almost nodding off whilst driving once).

Try to keep a diary of how you feel and show this to your GP.

Hope you get the help you desperately need & deserve
xx

Joons

Hopefully your GP can sort you out with anti depressants in the short term, hopefully they will lighten your mood and enable you to have the energy to get out there and meet new people, join an evening class, volunteer, take offers at work or invite colleagues round, the weather is lovely if you have a garden to sit and chat in. Try exercise, it's a great mood elevator too.

I'm afraid to say it but you will have to do the work to get any gain and I know that is difficult for you but there is really no other answer, nobody is gonna come and lift you and take you places. I don't drive but I fly and get buses all over the place to visit folk, it can be done, and quite cheaply too, if you get organised. Go online and see what's in your area, connect on forums with like minded people, try a part time job in the evenings that will allow you to socialise, there's lots you can do but you need the motivation and I know you are lacking in that right now so first stop is a visit to the GP and be honest, there's loads of folk with depression.

Faith177

Dunroamin wrote: »

Doesn't your husband pay the mortgage as well?

No I brought the house before we got together.

Faith177

berbastrike wrote: »

go to the doctor to get prescribed meds? sad times, not the answer.

sounds to me you are bored OP. Try to improve diet. Healthy food = happiness

sunflower wrote: »

OP as others have said - you are def suffering from depression.

I myself could have written your opening post, although my OH is home and I have kids.

The "fear" of people, feeling the world hates me, is the worst thing for me.

My psych nurse told me I am constantly tired because all of my adrenaline is used in "fight or flight mode", worrying, "thinking" and being constantly in a panic.

CBT does give you lots of coping mechanisms, but you may also need medication. (citalopram made my fatigue worse to the point of almost nodding off whilst driving once).

Try to keep a diary of how you feel and show this to your GP.

Hope you get the help you desperately need & deserve
xx

Joons wrote: »

Hopefully your GP can sort you out with anti depressants in the short term, hopefully they will lighten your mood and enable you to have the energy to get out there and meet new people, join an evening class, volunteer, take offers at work or invite colleagues round, the weather is lovely if you have a garden to sit and chat in. Try exercise, it's a great mood elevator too.

I'm afraid to say it but you will have to do the work to get any gain and I know that is difficult for you but there is really no other answer, nobody is gonna come and lift you and take you places. I don't drive but I fly and get buses all over the place to visit folk, it can be done, and quite cheaply too, if you get organised. Go online and see what's in your area, connect on forums with like minded people, try a part time job in the evenings that will allow you to socialise, there's lots you can do but you need the motivation and I know you are lacking in that right now so first stop is a visit to the GP and be honest, there's loads of folk with depression.

My diet is pretty good as I have IBS so have to stay away from a lot of junk but thanks for the tip.

Sunflower thank you and you too Joons ill look at getting my butt into gear and see what the doctor suggests.

I know my self esteem holds me back a lot as I feel like I don't belong anywhere and don't feel normal like other people. I don't feel comfy in new situations and get stressed out meeting new people as I feel like I'm not worthwhile of anyone's time.

I even feel like this with my friends I have know years I often think they only are my friends because their too kind to cut me loose.

I wouldn't even been surprised if OH was ever to divorce me as I know he could do better than me I'm nothing special

marisco_2

Faith177 wrote: »

I don't like to bother him as I know he finds it tough being way anyway so I just pretend everything is ok to spare him

Faith177 wrote: »

I don't think he really notices he is too busy we don't get much time to speak we mainly text so it makes it easy to pretend I'm ok.

I would love to confide in him but he's never home to help so don't see the point in worrying him or anyone else when their not about

I agree with the other posters who suggest you are suffering from depression OP. You appear to be under a lot of pressure and are feeling stressed, anxious and overwhelmed by life, to the point where you are becoming isolated. I think you would be wise to contact your gp and seek appropriate help and support.

I find it concerning that you are bottling up and hiding your true feelings and all that you are trying to cope with from your husband. This approach is not sparing him from anything long term. All you will achieve by doing this is to further detach yourself from him emotionally and feel less able to share things with him over time.

If you cant be totally open and honest about where you are at with your life partner, then you are not having a full relationship with him. He should be the closest person to you and the one who you should feel able to confide everything in, good and bad. I am sure he would want to know how you are truly feeling and to have the chance to offer you his full support. I hope you will be okay.

ska_lover

Didnt want to read and run OP, think you have been given some excellent advise already - you do definately sound depressed and slightly social phobic. Please don't spend your precious one day a week doing household chores, like another member said, get them to deliver during the week and get some lovely treats in for when you are together. hope things improve x