ex refusing to pay his half of the morgage

Rottensocks

GwylimT wrote: »

If you cannot afford to pay the mortgage then you will have to move, I'm guessing a fall in house value has led to the £1K equity?

Out of interest, does the house have a rental value that is higher than the mortgage?

clearingout

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

Thank you. Thats a much nicer way of putting it .... And thanks everyone else. Im just scared.

it is really scary. But you will survive and one way or another, things will work out. It takes time and usually a considerable adjustment in how we expected life to work out. Once you get your head round it all, it gets easier. Give it time.

doing_it_for_my_babies

The fall in house prices and a huge morgage. Not bad. Seems like hes going to come out of all this laughing at how gulible Ive been over the last two years. I was a reg poster before all this happened. Im scared. Emotionally scarred, financially broken. However my kids are healthy and happy. I must be doing something right.

And no . Rental wouldnt cover the morgage by 175 . Although its tempting Id still be down on the deal.

GwylimT

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

The fall in house prices and a huge morgage. Not bad. Seems like hes going to come out of all this laughing at how gulible Ive been over the last two years. I was a reg poster before all this happened. Im scared. Emotionally scarred, financially broken. However my kids are healthy and happy. I must be doing something right.

And no . Rental wouldnt cover the morgage by 175 . Although its tempting Id still be down on the deal.

Would it be cheaper for you to rent somewhere and then rent out the home and cover the shortfall? I know a few people where this has been the cheaper option to remaining in the family home.

doing_it_for_my_babies

Possibly but I'd have to change my morgage. I'd like to keep the house until I can get some equity. I want a nice house for me and my babies.

Guest101

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

Divorce has been filed . We are married. I have custody of the kids this has been agreed in mediation. We touched on the mortgage last session . Touched he mentioned he didn't want to pay, no agreement was made. I have never stopped him seeing his kids apart from the beginning when I needed to sort stuff out. He then took nearly 6 months o have them over night .

Asked for his key back when I found out about the affair. He can have acesss. I'm just not happy him havg a key. I have even openly invited him in which he has continuely refused if no third party is present.

I've been very amicable and cooperative but my patience is wearing thin. Him not paying the mortgage and the fact he will possibly stop paying maintainance to the correct amount could see me and the kids on the street.

Mediation agreement means very little, but it's not useless so i guess thats something.

You have stopped him having acess to his house, so why should he pay the mortgage. Either he has access to his house, or not. Upto you, but no cake and eat it.

You chose to stop his seeing his kids, but 'that was at the begining' - no, sorry, no. you were wrong. you did deny access and that bad morally and legally.

he's playing the system perfectly, no entry without 3rd party, to stop you making claims - perfect. over the barrel you will be.

Think you need to get this traight, right away.

Guest101

Acc72 wrote: »

Based on what we know, why do you say that ?

If I understand correctly he has paid the maintenance required and also half of a repayment mortgage - what else would you expect him to pay ?

Sorry, my post sounded personal. It shouldn't. I think the Ex is being very fair, and legally 100% correct. just think kids should have the best, always. and 2 seperate parents simply cannot provide the most/best, just a question of financies, not commitment or love for the kids.

FBaby

Guest, although you are right, I think you are forgetting that people are human and one someone does something that was selfish, deceitful and hurtful, it is human nature not to want to accommodate them. Yes, children shouldn't be used but by having an affair and being deceitful, he also used the children. Anyone choosing to have an affair have to face that they will inevitably be very unpleasant consequences, at least in the short term.

OP is coping her best in her circumstances. It is not HER responsibility to make life easiest for him. Not seeing their dad for a few weeks won't have damaged them, certainly not half as much as his actions might have.

Saying that OP, you really have no choice but to move on and gradually come to terms to the fact that the life you thought you had is no more to be. It is now you and the kids and you will need to regained control of your life. Of course you want to stay in the house and it doesn't seem right that you should lose this right because of his actions, but in the end, if that's what will need to happen, that's what will need to happen. I can assure you that you are much more likely to find peace of mind and happiness in a not so nice place but where YOU are in charge then staying where you are with all the stress and hassle that will come with it and the mental anguish that will come from the fact that you will never be able to do what you want with the house without his approval.

Good luck OP. My partner's wife cheated on him and left him feeling like his life was falling apart and he would never recover. 5 years later he met me and he said looking back, what she did what the best thing that could have happened to me as he can't imagine his life without me being part of it. You really can move on...with time.

doing_it_for_my_babies

Thanks and for the record I have never used the children as pawns in this relationship. I did my best to protect them over two years of his selfless ways. I havnt told the full story . Why should I.

I have been in conact wwith the morgage company and am looking at options. Guest personally I think you are being blunt. However He does not live in the house. His children do. I dont mind taking the whole of the morgage on . But it has to be either agreed or set in stone in court.

I am quite happy now. The morgage company are aware.

I am not the one in the wrong here. I never have been. However in the interim stopping paying the full half of his morgage he has broke his morgage agreement. Not me.

Yes I am hurt. But Im ready to move on and am looking at the options. I wont be taken for a mug anymore end of.

silvercar

I am not the one in the wrong here. I never have been. However in the interim stopping paying the full half of his morgage he has broke his morgage agreement. Not me.

No, you are both liable for the mortgage payment, so if it isn't paid in full, you have both broken your mortgage agreement.