ex refusing to pay his half of the morgage

Dunroamin

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

They are my children 24/7 they are his when he feels like it . Im not angry at his infidelity I was at first , I no longer am she can have him. It is a little more complicated and hes got both of us into massive debt over his shinanigans .

They are his children all the time, just as they are yours. Using that expression will do nothing to improve relationships and will risk alienating the children..

Acc72

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

I have never stopped him seeing his kids apart from the beginning when I needed to sort stuff out.

I am not sure what stuff you needed to sort out that would require you preventing him access to the children, but I am glad that this is resolved.

doing_it_for_my_babies

Acc72 wrote: »

I am not sure what stuff you needed to sort out that would require you preventing him access to the children, but I am glad that this is resolved.

I have been told it was reasonable. It was basically so I could sort out the mess my finances and my head were in.

I had told him I was not stopping access and would talk to him when I was ready. (ie was in a safer place in my head to do so) Its would not have been healthy for the children for me to be in a close vacinity to their father. He gets more access than most courts would give. However he still has a problem having the kids for a full weekend. Yet the poor monkies crave his attention.
Yes they are his children . Its a pity he didnt think of that when he turned their lives upside down. Im sorry you dont know him. I understand you fighting his corner but its taken me 8 months for him to agree to have them 1 saturday overnight in three....

RAS

Hi

You need to stop and completely review your finances.

Legally, your ex is expected to pay 20% of his income in CSA and no more. If he has the children more than 52 nights a year, he can reduce the CSA.

Given that he is self employed getting that CSA could be difficult.

You need to apply for Mortgage Interest support and for child tax credit, Council tax discount, credit etc. Please put your circumstances into www.turn2us.org.uk

Dunroamin

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

I have been told it was reasonable. It was basically so I could sort out the mess my finances and my head were in.

I had told him I was not stopping access and would talk to him when I was ready. (ie was in a safer place in my head to do so) Its would not have been healthy for the children for me to be in a close vacinity to their father. He gets more access than most courts would give. However he still has a problem having the kids for a full weekend. Yet the poor monkies crave his attention.
Yes they are his children . Its a pity he didnt think of that when he turned their lives upside down. Im sorry you dont know him. I understand you fighting his corner but its taken me 8 months for him to agree to have them 1 saturday overnight in three....

There's a difference between taking his side and pointing out that your anger is making you unreasonable.

doing_it_for_my_babies

I am being super reasonable. Im going through mediation and would have been fine with no morgage payments if it had been agreed and all avenues had been looked at. Instead of throwing me a line and telling me what was going to happen. Ive been reasonable with the fact I havnt pushed for his overnight access yet have had to comfort two crying children at weekends because daddy brings them home. Ive been reasonable by setting up a calender with all the childrens activities on and sharing it with the ex. Ive been reasonable I havnt stopped contact because Im peed off wiuth him as that would niot be in the childrens best interests . I could go o....

pinkshoes

How big is the house, and how much equity is there in the property?

doing_it_for_my_babies

2 bed and very little equity maybe a grand or so.

Dunroamin

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

I am being super reasonable. Im going through mediation and would have been fine with no morgage payments if it had been agreed and all avenues had been looked at. Instead of throwing me a line and telling me what was going to happen. Ive been reasonable with the fact I havnt pushed for his overnight access yet have had to comfort two crying children at weekends because daddy brings them home. Ive been reasonable by setting up a calender with all the childrens activities on and sharing it with the ex. Ive been reasonable I havnt stopped contact because Im peed off wiuth him as that would niot be in the childrens best interests . I could go o....

You said he would carry on paying half of the interest part of the mortgage payments - that's not "no mortgage payment".

Why should you even consider stopping his contact with the children?

CH27

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

I am being super reasonable. Im going through mediation and would have been fine with no morgage payments if it had been agreed and all avenues had been looked at. Instead of throwing me a line and telling me what was going to happen. Ive been reasonable with the fact I havnt pushed for his overnight access yet have had to comfort two crying children at weekends because daddy brings them home. Ive been reasonable by setting up a calender with all the childrens activities on and sharing it with the ex. Ive been reasonable I havnt stopped contact because Im peed off wiuth him as that would niot be in the childrens best interests . I could go o....

I should damn well think not!
Children shouldn't be used as pawns in their parent's battles.