ex refusing to pay his half of the morgage

silvercar

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

I've just noticed I've posted twice... sorry I also can't post a link n mortgages. I was really hoping for mortgage mamas advise if he's still active

No longer active.

Legally you are both jointly liable to make sure the mortgage is paid - no half and half, both liable for all.

If you are getting maintenance then some of that money is for you to provide a home for the kids, as the parent with residency. So he may well be within his rights, as far as you are concerned, to reduce his mortgage payment.

JemmaM91

Sorry if I'm wrong,

But if he was paying half the mortgage, couldn't he technically charge you for rent for his half?

Therefore by not paying half the mortgage, it cancels it out.

19lottie82

JemmaM91 wrote: »

Sorry if I'm wrong,

But if he was paying half the mortgage, couldn't he technically charge you for rent for his half?

Therefore by not paying half the mortgage, it cancels it out.

incorrect.

theoretically, he could bill her for "rent", but she would be under no legal obligation to pay it what so ever.

again, there is no "his half" or "her half" here.

OP, as explained, your husband is only legally required to pay maintenance for the children, nothing more. it is assumed that this will cover a contribution towards housing the children.

if you can't afford the mortgage yourself you will need to look at other options.

good luck.

clearingout

please speak with your mortgage company sooner rather than later. See if you can organise a payment holiday for a couple of months to give your some breathing space.

I am in agreement with others that you have essentially been 'lucky' in that he has paid both maintenance and half the mortgage for so long. The only potential downfall from his point of view is that if the mortgage goes unpaid, it starts to impact on his credit rating - and if he's self employed, this could impact on him not only from a personal but also professional perspective. It will also impact your credit rating and therefore everyone's ability to 'move on' from a financial point of view is screwed. If you are going to struggle, try and come at it from this point of view with him and appeal to his better nature to at least keep your credit ratings in one piece whilst the divorce and financial settlement goes through. He will be a far less attractive asset to the new girlfriend if he can't keep a roof over their heads!

I wouldn't go near the CSA for maintenance unless you have to. They can't deal with the self employed in any sensible way and you will, potentially, find yourself with a nil assessment. Far better to work it out between you.

Be aware that if the new woman is now wanting a bit more, he's going to have to compromise between you and it'll be you who loses out. Make sure you are claiming all the benefits you are entitled to and keep lines of communication through mediation open. It'll get sorted eventually, you just have to plow on through it.

pigpen

If he is paying the required amount of maintenance he doesn't have to pay anything else you are lucky he has paid any of it at all and paying almost a year of half the mortgage is more than you could expect.

Keep the correspondence saying he will stop paying on X date you will need that when it comes to selling the house you can say he hasn't paid a bean since X date as shown in this letter then the greater portion of the equity will be payable to you rather than the 50/50 split he will get otherwise.

Get the deeds transferred to your name if he isn't paying for the house it is unfair he should have any right of access to it. Which also means you don't have to get his permission to do work on the house etc.

doing_it_for_my_babies

Thanks all Im going to phone the morgage company tonight. We are still married and as far as I was aware he hasnt been in any financial hardship paying his half keeping a roof over his kids heads.. I know the new gf is pulling strings and im perfectly aware of this. I am also aware I am lucky. However as far as being able to live on the money he gives me maintaiance , this just covers his half of the morgage.

I do work.. However on my wage I will be scraping the barrel if he stops paying maintainance. My childcare is covered by my CTC yet he has never ever offered to cover any of it. My children are the most important thing in all this. Their stability is paramount . Because of this they are fine in all the bloody mess my ex has created.

FBaby

You can look at ownership in two ways, as a secure home for your family, or as an investment. What started as the first for him has now turned to the second. He probably sees that paying half of the mortgage is not much of an investment for his money any longer and wants out, maybe to invest the money elsewhere.

Remains the issue of securing a roof over his kids head. That, only he can decide how much he considers that it is essential that they can stay in the house. If he is a selfish toad and rubbish father, then you are bound to hit a brick wall with this arguement.

Dunroamin

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

Thanks all Im going to phone the morgage company tonight. We are still married and as far as I was aware he hasnt been in any financial hardship paying his half keeping a roof over his kids heads.. I know the new gf is pulling strings and im perfectly aware of this. I am also aware I am lucky. However as far as being able to live on the money he gives me maintaiance , this just covers his half of the morgage.

I do work.. However on my wage I will be scraping the barrel if he stops paying maintainance. My childcare is covered by my CTC yet he has never ever offered to cover any of it. My children are the most important thing in all this. Their stability is paramount . Because of this they are fine in all the bloody mess my ex has created.

You're not supposed to be able to live on the money he pays as maintenance, that's supposed to be his half of the expenses needed for the children, it isn't supposed to maintain you!

Why would he pay anything towards childcare when you're receiving this through tax credits?

Also (going back to an earlier point) you have no right to refuse him access to a house he half owns.

Although you're obviously (and understandably) angry at his infidelity, you're in danger of putting yourself in the wrong here by acting so unreasonably - and, please, do stop referring to the children as "my children".

doing_it_for_my_babies

Dunroamin wrote: »

You're not supposed to be able to live on the money he pays as maintenance, that's supposed to be his half of the expenses needed for the children, it isn't supposed to maintain you! - It doesnt maintain me . Im perfectly capable of doing that myself. The money he pays hardly maintains the childrens lives

Why would he pay anything towards childcare when you're receiving this through tax credits? - because hes their dad ?

Also (going back to an earlier point) you have no right to refuse him access to a house he half owns. - I havnt refused him access , ive openly said he can have access when ever he wants. Ive invited him in , but hes refused as a third party isnt present.

Although you're obviously (and understandably) angry at his infidelity, you're in danger of putting yourself in the wrong here by acting so unreasonably - and, please, do stop referring to the children as "my children".

They are my children 24/7 they are his when he feels like it . Im not angry at his infidelity I was at first , I no longer am she can have him. It is a little more complicated and hes got both of us into massive debt over his shinanigans .

doing_it_for_my_babies

I have struggled for 2 years because of his infidelity , I will not let his mess impact on the childrens lives. They will not suffer because he couldnt keep his !!!!!! in his pants.

Im off for a walk ...