help - rows over money

FBaby

and as it is OP's money from her mum I'd have both cars in her name too.

Does this also apply for the income he is bringing? It is his hard earn money paying the mortgage so should the house be in his name only?

pigpen

FBaby wrote: »

Does this also apply for the income he is bringing? It is his hard earn money paying the mortgage so should the house be in his name only?

And looking after children and the home isn't hard work so her contribution counts as squat?

Wages, tax credits etc are joint family income... inheritance from her mum is hers.. and if he carried on making demands of MY mothers money there would be hell to pay and he'd not get a bean. I'd leave it tied up in various accounts just so it couldn't be spent on trivialities.

OH got a substantial sum from his grandmother a couple of years ago and I wouldn't dream of asking him for a penny of it.. it isn't mine.. it is his.. if he CHOSE to buy me something with it then that's fine but I certainly wouldn't be going begging or demanding it is spent on me.

Manchee

My suggestion would be to use £2500 to get the husband a new secondhand car, and for the OP to drive the banger for a year or two, then use £2500 to get her a new secondhand car. That way they both get a new car, but the OP saves money on insurance and gains a bit of experience first.

nzmegs

sell the banger buy two new cars....easy

Treevo

Sky_of_Amethyst wrote: »

My husband and I have a joint bank account and have treated all income asjoint since our marriage 7 years ago. He has been the sole wage earner sincethe birth of our first son, 6 years ago. We have an old car that needsreplacing. Up until now it has been 'his' car as he is the driver. I amcurrently taking lessons in hopes that when I pass my test it will help me backinto employment that I can fit around our son's school hours. Last year my mumdied and left me around £10k in her will. This has been in an ISA and savingsaccount until now. I want to use some of it to buy a car, my husband wants tospend about £5k on a new (2nd hand) car that he will use to go to work andwants me to use the old banger that I really don’t like. He says he deservesthe new car after driving us around for the past few years. I feel like hewants to use my Mum's money to buy himself a car. He thinks I am being unreasonable.It’s causing huge rows. We do need a new car and soon as we have a holidayplanned and don’t think the banger will make the journey. Advice appreciated.

You're being incredibly selfish. You want the benefit of all of his money but won't spend yours for the betterment of the family.

I suggest you think very carefully about whether you want to continue with your marriage because it seems to me that you want him for his money but you also want to keep anything of yours to yourself.

Prothet_of_Doom

I took the attitude that I should have the cheaper car, the one that actually gets thrashed to death, and does most miles, because being technically competent and a bloke, I could usually nurse a car home, or at worst, did not feel particular vulnerable waiting in the dark and the rain, for the RAC to turn up. I think I went through a series of cheap cars, costing between £6.64, £40, £350, and £900 over 7 years of motoring. (The cheapest lasting longest at 3 years)
In addition my wife, who drives our children around, should have the more reliable solid, family car, with better crash protection, which we will use for the family holiday.

However I can see your husband's point too.

I think some compromise is possible.
Try defining your requirements
Split the requirements into needs and wants.
Then split the money into 2, and each choose a car which meets your requirements. By the way £2.5 K will get each of you a decent motor, if you care to look.

As an aside.
If you do this, wait til your husband has bought his and then go and buy the identical car, with lower miles and a newer reg, for less money, and rub his nose in it LOL

FBaby

Wages, tax credits etc are joint family income... inheritance from her mum is hers.. and if he carried on making demands of MY mothers money there would be hell to pay and he'd not get a bean.

Legally, inheritance money belongs to the married couple, just like income does. I personally find it incredibly convenient to decide what is joint income and what isn't.

Prothet_of_Doom

I would like to point out the way that people treat inheritances is always cause for complaint in a marriage.
If HER nan dies, and HE suggests spending the money on anything, HE will be seen as money grabbing, and taking advantage, whereas If his great aunt dies, and HE doesn't suggest a new kitchen and a foreign holiday, he's being tight.

Or am I wrong.

At the end of the day, treat it like shared money and don't squander it because it's actually a very small sum of money and you might need it for something else TOO.

2gorgeousgirls

I think if you have classed money as joint since you married you can't really change the rules now because it is an inheritance from your mum.

You need to make a decision based on logic and not on where the money came from.

Who will be doing the most miles? We are in a similar position but agreed that since my husband does about 3 times the mileage I do it makes sense for him to have the newer more reliable car.

As a new driver insurance will really have a big part to play. I'm no expert but I assume it would be cheaper to insure you on the banger.

ifonlyitwaseasier

what engine size is the current car? OP might be better off getting a 1.0 or 1.1 newish one to drive herself and having lower insurance, instead of driving sthg with a 2.0 and high insurance.