help - rows over money

Molly41

The saying "What's yours is mine, but mine is mine" comes to my mind!

We always share good fortune half and half!

BitterAndTwisted

You both agree that a new car is needed. Therefore you buy a new car. He's your husband and you are supposed to be a partnership, so decide between you whether you buy one half-decent new-to-you car for his commute or that plus an older one for you doing the school-run and getting the supermarket shopping if you don't like the one you have now and don't want to drive it. IF you pass your test, that is.

To be honest, after six years of sole responsibility of bringing home the bacon your husband really shouldn't be made to feel that he's having to beg you to release the purse-strings.

Oh, and it hasn't been "your Mum's money" since it passed into your JOINT hands.

I honestly think that you sound rather dog-in-the-manger-ish about this.

CH27

OP you are being quite selfish here.
If the old banger is good enough for him why isn't it good enough for you?

If all your money is joint you cannot expect to keep your inheritance to yourself.

If you pass your test an old banger will be perfect for you to get experience & confidence.

double_mummy

i agree with the compromise thing but i think it depends on how confident you are as a driver i am very confident and have had my liscence less than a year but i drive a £20k car and i havent had any major incidents in it (did get hit by a transit van n it took off my wing mirror but i was parked and not in the car so not my fault at all) but with a more expensive car comes more expensive insurance

i am the only one in the family who drives so i needed a 7 seater (hence the cost) but if you only need a little run around and so does he you can both get some great cars for around £6k for both

you are married and this is mine and this is yours is a slippery slope either everything is joint or nothing is how will you be paying for petrol and insurance? will that all be out of your money or the joint money?

FBaby

Why is it that the money he has earnt working his your joint money, but the money you got from your mum is yours? Surely that is as much joint as what he brings in?

He does have a point that getting a newish car when you have first learnt to drive is not a good idea. It would make sense for him to get a newish car at a reasonable price, you get the old banger and when you are more confident driving and insurance costs go down, you can consider getting a new one.

SuzieSue

I agree that the OP should use the old car for a few years, however, I don't think she should use it to ferry their son around as a the newer car will be much safer.

Luciferswench

Why not use 5k to buy two new (secondhand) cars. I think its a bit mean that she who inherits gets the old banger and the husband gets the treat of a new car.

marisco_2

Netwizard wrote: »

What car do you have currently and why does it need replacing? Sometimes its better the devil you know and if there is nothing really wrong with it apart from the fact its old, then learn to drive in that, and as someone else posted above, maybe spend a bit less than £5k on a new motor.

You can get some cracking cars for £2-£3k. No need to spend over that unless you want some newer digits on the numberplate

I agree with this. OP you come across as a financially savvy person. Logic tells most people that spending thousands on a car is a false economy. Lets face it the minute you drive it away from a showroom it starts to decrease in value. Whenever I have purchased a car I go for reliability, reasonable running costs and being able to insure it without needing a lie down after getting the quote. A pertinent point considering you will be a newly passed driver. If there is nothing wrong with the current car you have then keep it and spend a reasonable amount on the new one.

pigpen

Get rid of old car and buy 2 not so expensive newer ones??

Spending £2500 on 2 cars rather than £5000 on one will get you both something reasonable... and as it is OP's money from her mum I'd have both cars in her name too. This way half the inheritance is going on cars and that will leave the other half to have a holiday or do up the house which everyone will benefit from.

This 'he has been taxi driver for X years' is a disgusting attitude.. OP has been 'childcare/housekeeper/chief slave and bottle washer' for those years too and isn't throwing that in his face.. he couldn't have worked if she didn't look after HIS child/ren..

We have a good compromise in here.. I own the car and OH drives it All the car paperwork is in my name yet I have never had so much as a single driving lesson.. not through choice I might add it has been on my 'to-do' list for the last 25 years!

shelley_crow

I agree with Pigpen, if it was me, I'd buy a slightly cheaper newer car each.

I've been driving 10 years now and have a 12 year old car. I've have 2 bumps in the time I've been driving, neither have been my fault.

If you can't come to a compromise then the money is best off in the bank until you can agree.