help - rows over money

spike241

Treevo wrote: »

What a selfish man being the sole earner for so long and driving an old banger that's about to cut out!

He was the sole earner because his wife was at home taking care of his son. She's now trying to go back to work so that he won't be the sole earner.

As I said, I don't know how housework is divided up in the OP's house but being a SAH parent is just as important as being the working parent.

I do think the inheritance should be shared but that doesn't mean one person splashing out half of it on a car. He could easily find a cheaper car and the rest of the money could be spent doing up the house or going on holiday or just saved up until it's needed.

I don't think the husband is selfish for wanting a new car, I think he's selfish because he's decided on a £5k new car.

Treevo

spike241 wrote: »

He was the sole earner because his wife was at home taking care of his son. She's now trying to go back to work so that he won't be the sole earner.

As I said, I don't know how housework is divided up in the OP's house but being a SAH parent is just as important as being the working parent.

I do think the inheritance should be shared but that doesn't mean one person splashing out half of it on a car. He could easily find a cheaper car and the rest of the money could be spent doing up the house or going on holiday or just saved up until it's needed.

I don't think the husband is selfish for wanting a new car, I think he's selfish because he's decided on a £5k new car.

One person? As if the OP and her family wouldn't benefit!

This is a financial issue - the couple decided to share all their income (the OP presumably because she benefitted the most from the arrangement) but now she's got some income she believes that she should keep it all. She is the selfish one here.

The OP's lucky that she has been able to be a stay at home parent for so long - many just cannot afford the option.

System

The OP's lucky that she has been able to be a stay at home parent for so long - many just cannot afford the option.

Is it the OP's fault that she's been a stay at home parent and other women haven't had that option?

I wouldn't say luck has come into it.

spike241

Treevo wrote: »

One person? As if the OP and her family wouldn't benefit!

This is a financial issue - the couple decided to share all their income (the OP presumably because she benefitted the most from the arrangement) but now she's got some income she believes that she should keep it all. She is the selfish one here.

The OP's lucky that she has been able to be a stay at home parent for so long - many just cannot afford the option.

Sorry, where did the OP say she should keep it all? We have no idea what she may want to do with that money.

If I had that kind of money I'd happily share it with my partner but I would like to help decide how it should be spent.

You've made the assumption that the OP wasn't working when they first got married and that it was her idea to have a joint account. Where did you get this from?

Maybe the OP wanted to go back to work sooner but couldn't find a job, maybe childcare costs meant it wasn't an option. We don't know the circumstances.