Opinion on leaving 13 yr old and 9 yr old home alone while working 9-5?

peachyprice

FBaby wrote: »

Do I think they would be safe? Yes, definitely. And my 13yo is not in charge when they are together, my 10yo is as able to look after himself. However, I would feel sorry for them in terms of boredom. It is surprising that a working parent wouldn't allow for at least some time off during that time.

So in answer, I would do it if I had no choice as a last resort, but I do plan the whole period so that they they experience some variety of entertainment.

I didn't mention safety at all, anywhere on this thread.

Would you make your 13yo stay indoors with a child younger than your 10yo for the duration of the summer holidays?

balletshoes

FBaby wrote: »

Here we go again about the rights and wrongs of living children home alone

Mine are 13 and 10. I will be leaving my 13 year old alone from 7:30 to 3:30pm. on some days. My son will be walking to the holiday club for 8:30 and be back by 1pm, so they will be alone together for 2 hours. I think it is a total of 6 days out of the whole holiday.

They've been home alone for a few hours a number of times and I have no concern at all that they will be safe and responsible.

thats not the same as the OPs situation - she described leaving them both at home to entertain each other/be in the house together from 8.30am to 5.30am every day for 6 weeks.

bagpussbear

OP, another thought that I might offer ....

One year my childminder decided to go on holiday for 5 weeks, so I asked another mum at the school who I trusted if she would have my son for a couple of weeks and I would pay her, and she agreed and my son and hers had a fun fortnight together.

I covered the remaining 3 weeks as unpaid leave, which was very difficult financially but my childminder gave me about 4 months notice so I was able to put a bit of money by beforehand to help get me through that month.

Obviously I had only had the one child in that situation.

Erinnire

I would say no, between 13 - the day I left home at 16 I was used as a childcare 'servant' to my parents who left me with children 7 & 9 years younger than me. I spent almost everyday either screaming or crying and cant even begin to tell you how unhappy I was.

I know it is only for 6 weeks but my sisters where awfully behaved as soon as my parents left and the only time they would actually listen to me is when I broke down into tears.

I've been through so much since bad stuff since then and that is still the worst period of my life.

My sisters were younger but you cannot guarantee the youngest will behave when you are away.

FBaby

peachyprice wrote: »

I didn't mention safety at all, anywhere on this thread.

Would you make your 13yo stay indoors with a child younger than your 10yo for the duration of the summer holidays?

I think I did answer that question above? I would do it if no choice only because I believe it would be safe and safety is the ultimum factor. Would I like it? No, but I would do it if it meant keeping my job.

Still, I'd like the OP to say more about her circumstances and why there is absolutely no other alternative but to do so for the entire holidays.

Frith

My sons are 9 and 12 (13 in September) and I have not left them alone together for more than 10 minutes. Last month the 12 year old came home earlier than me (this was planned) and was alone for 20 minutes. That is the first and only time.

I think its completely inappropriate to leave children for so long each day. And how boring to spend 6 weeks stuck at home.

Nicki

milliemonster wrote: »

Everybody here seems to be saying no which is fine as you have asked for opinions, but what no one seems to have considered is whether the op has a choice or not, at the end of the day if the op has no support network and has no choice but to leave their kids then there is no alternative.

Years gone by kids were left alone for hours on end at much younger ages, I'm to saying its right or wrong, but sometimes needs must and there are no alternatives.

I have a 14 year old girl whom I've left alone for a full day (12 hrs) while I've been at work and have no problem doing so, I wouldn't leave her to look after her 10 yr old brother for that length of time, but only because I don't need to, if I had no alternative then I'd just have to get on with it and wed muddle through.

There will always be cases of where children come to harm, but some people just don't have a support network to fall back on

Eh?

So if the children were 5 and 7 it would be ok to leave them to their own devices all day because there was no alternative?

It's either safe and fair to do this or it's not. If its not, then it makes no difference whether or not OP has a support network, her children are more important than anything else surely, even keeping her job?

How many of us out of interest would consider a call to SS if they knew a child of 9 was being left in the fulltime care of a 13 year old? I'd be sufficiently concerned if one of my neighbours was doing this to think hard about it.

kelpie35

It might be ok till 1pm if they have a mobile or someone close who could go to their aid if there was a problem.

If you work close by and am able to leave your work immediately then I would do this.

sulkisu

Nicki wrote: »

Eh?

So if the children were 5 and 7 it would be ok to leave them to their own devices all day because there was no alternative?

It's either safe and fair to do this or it's not. If its not, then it makes no difference whether or not OP has a support network, her children are more important than anything else surely, even keeping her job?

How many of us out of interest would consider a call to SS if they knew a child of 9 was being left in the fulltime care of a 13 year old? I'd be sufficiently concerned if one of my neighbours was doing this to think hard about it.

To answer your question, if they were 5 and 7 I would call SS, but TBH aged 13 and 9, no I wouldn't necessarily be concerned enough to do so.

OP is unpaid parental leave an option, at least for some of the time?
I assume you will be working Monday to Friday and not 7 days a week?

shop-to-drop

Why the whole six weeks? Can't you and the other parent take some annual leave? Can they spend some time with Grandparents extended family etc? An odd day may be OK but 6 weeks! Your house may become the local kids hang out even if you feel they would be safe on their own you couldn't be sure what other kids would get up to.