Opinion on leaving 13 yr old and 9 yr old home alone while working 9-5?

samtoby

I remember in our area a Mum leaving her 14 year old and 10 year old for the summer holidays all ok until the last week and there was an electrical fault in the house and it caused a fire. The 10 year old died and the 14 year old survived under the pressure of trying to get his sibling out the house the younger got stuck/ then smoke inhalation and died. It was absolutly terrible. The 14 year old son was so distraught a few years later he killed himself as he couldn't cope with what happened.

I think it rests in the responsibility. I was left from 11 after school until about 6 and cooked my own dinner but I was an only child and my Nan and Grandad lived two roads away so my Mum felt it was ok. I remember when I was younger loads of kids were left while their parents worked with no problems but the story I mention says to me that its not ideal. I know its harsh but some people even with a number of teenagers would not leave them alone at home.

samtoby

When children get bored no matter how clever or sensible = trouble sometimes.

What activities will you leave them for the six week holidays while you work?

Sounds like they will be stuck in = bored = make own entertainment = bad judgement sometimes!

peachyprice

I would leave the 13yo alone, but I would not leave the 13yo in charge of a 9yo, it's a big responsibility and really isn't fair on the 13yo, when are they supposed to get their summer break if they're babysitting for the entire 6 weeks?

At the very least is there not a summer club you can send the 9yo to even if for only half a day, preferably all day, with the 13yo picking them up in the afternoon?

pigpen

peachyprice wrote: »

with the 13yo picking them up in the afternoon?

None of the summer clubs here allow younger children to leave with anyone under the age of 16.. which might be an issue there.. though the school ones do tend to run 8-6 for children up to 11 years of age.

The church ones are 10-12 usually so while younger siblings can drop off picking up might still be an issue.

CATS

My son is a month away from being 14, very mature and responsible and I wouldn't leave him alone all day for 6 weeks. Me and hubby are taking it in turns to do half days so that we can at least be in half a day so he can then go out to the park or swimming or friends. He is an only child and would go crazy stuck at home all day everyday for 6 weeks. It is difficult but I wouldn't leave him alone, especially not in charge of another child

fabforty

Depends on the maturity of the children. My siblings and I were left alone during school holidays when I started school, so five of us aged 5-13. This continued throughout our childhood. We also had to get ready for school in the mornings or get ourselves home from school (depending on my parents shift patterns). This was 20-30 years ago, so I realise things were different then, but we survived. Perhaps we were just extremely mature for our ages, or just very lucky or resilient, I don't know, but I do know that nothing ever happened. No drama and no near misses. It might not be ideal, but you do what you have to.

What options do you have, if any - apart from resigning, of course ? I am guessing that no parent would opt for this if they felt that they had a real alternative.

lizziebabe

No I wouldn't. It is too much responsibility for the 13 year old. What if something were to happen, although you have overall responsibility, think how he would feel. He would have to live with it and that is unfair. I'm afraid it sounds like you don't have childcare for the Summer Holidays while you work.
Like the rest of us you will have to pay for some sort of childcare, at least part time for the younger child. If the older child is sensible then I would consider leaving him for just the mornings. Mine at that age would barely be out of bed by the time you came home at lunchtime.
Young children of that age don't (the 9 year old) necessarily have the concept of danger or the consequences of their actions if they make poor choices.

securityguy

WantToBeSE wrote: »

Hi,
i am just interested in opinions.

Would you leave your 13 year old and 9 year old home alone together from 8.30am-5.30pm for 6 weeks (during summer holidays)?

No. I'd consider leaving the 13 year old (although I suspect I wouldn't), but not as the sole responsible person in charge of a 9 year old.

9 year old says "I'm going out". 13 year old says "no you're not". 9 year old goes anyway. What's the next move?

And leaving aside safety concerns, and the issue of using a 13 year old as unpaid labour 35 hours a week, and the issue of responsibility, it would be a really, really !!!! summer for both of them. Is it really the best you can come up with?

poet123

No, it would mean they were effectively tied to the house and garden for six weeks with no other company. if you allow others in that would open up a whole other list of options for issues.

It is simply not safe or fair in my opinion and whilst if you did it there may be no problems, could you feel comfortable at work wondering if all was well?

fedupnow

Teens can be as much trouble (wrong word but you all know what I mean) to 'house' over hols than younger kids imo. It's a pity there aren't more 'cool' organised activities throughout the hols.

I only left mine when they weren't sure what time I'd be back.