University Campus or Home?

Arthien

OP, given your reaction to your daughter going away on a 15 day exchange trip with Guides a few months ago, it seems to me that your daughter living away from home would be a good idea for both you and her. She needs to be able spread her wings without you, and that's really not something that can happen while she's still living at home.

Speaking as a recent graduate, I was initially terrified at the idea of leaving to go to a uni in a totally different city, but I knew that it would be good for me, and looking back, I was right. I'm not into the heavy drinking/sleeping around etc etc that people seem to associate with freshers year, but I still had a great time and learnt a lot, both practically and about myself as an individual. I also met my now-fianc! in halls, and we both made a few friends who we are still very close to.

I second the idea that living away at first, and then deciding after first year is better than the other way around. Everyone meets new people in the first week or so and they're all in same boat together. Also, in terms of picking a place to live in second year, this is often done just before the Christmas holidays (both at my uni and the ones my friends went to), so it's unlikely at she would be considered as a potential housemate if she's still going to be living at home until the end of first year.

And I know you say it wouldn't be any different for her socially if she stayed at home, but I couldn't help but wonder who would ask her to go over for the evening spontaneously, or on a night out, because she would either not be able to as she'd have to go home, or she'd have to get a taxi home on her own, or she'd end up staying over with a friend anyway.

Also, you say she has lots of friends in her home town, but it will be a totally different situation when they've all gone off to uni and she's still there on her own. One of my best friends failed to get a uni place when the rest of us did, so she had to stay at home and study for another year, even though her friends had all moved away. She said it was the loneliest thing she's ever done, because although she was at home, it wasnt home as it used to be anymore.

Basically, I know you're worried about debt affecting her long-term, but it's really not worth letting it stop her from exploring all the opportunities that are open to her by living away. I used to work as a Student Ambassador for my uni, so I regularly spoke to prospective students who were worried about leaving home for the first time, and I always said 'go for it, it's worth it!' :j

P.s. sorry for the essay!

Ames

Something else to bear in mind is that at most uni's the first year doesn't count towards the final mark or degree classification. At the start of my first year(s) we were told to get all the going out and getting drunk out of our systems in the first year ready to knuckle down in the second and third. So staying at home for the first year and then moving out and having that freedom and independence is the wrong way round.

ETA: you have to pass the course, getting a minimum of 40% on modules, but that's all.

paulineb_2

If its her local uni I dont really see the point in going into halls or local digs.
Thats the whole issue. I wouldnt have been accepted for halls at the uni I went to because I could have travelled in from home.

Also, there are people who move away from home and dont enjoy it, drop out of uni. I didnt think I missed out on anything. I still went to parties, I stayed over with friends if the party went on late. I dont think its true to suggest that people who stay at home are missing out on stuff and people who all live in shared flats or halls are having this wonderful time.

I went away to college at 18. I hated it. And it wasnt because I didnt want to be away from my family, I was only about 35 miles away. I ended up with the landlady from hell and thats no exaggeration. I then went into halls to meet a bunch of girls who I could only describe as bullies and then I went into other digs, digs that my then bf had lived in the year before so he knew them well and I went back up after easter to find out that they had tried to let out my room during easter, which I had paid them for, packed all of my stuff up (they were just wanting as much money as they possibly could), without even telling me.

I had had enough by that time and decided to pack in my course, go home and take a year out to decide what I wanted to do.

And not everyone will have those kinds of experiences. But its not the case that living away from home will mean that all students will have this brilliant and wonderful experience and those who stay at home will miss out.

You'll have good, bad and indifferent experiences no matter where you are and what you were doing. And when I did my degree I had to pass my first year before I could move on. There might be people who party their way through uni, move away from home, have brilliant times and still walk away with a fantastic degree.

But you'll also have students who live at home who will still get as much out of the university experience as people who live in halls/shared flats.

I do agree that the bottom line is, this needs to be your daughters decision and whether you want her to remain at home, that shouldnt influence her decision, you need to try and be objective.

Arthien

paulineb wrote: »

I dont think its true to suggest that people who stay at home are missing out on stuff and people who all live in shared flats or halls are having this wonderful time.

I would never say I had a wonderful time just because i was living away from home, it had bad points just like anything else. I actually ended up living with some people in second year who I ended up hating, but it was the fact that I was independent and mature enough to be able to manage the situation without my parents to guide me that made me realise that it was the right thing for me on the whole.

Totally agree about it being the daughter's decision though, without parental influence.

Dunroamin

Almo wrote: »

OP, you obviously have your own opinion and it is coming through very clearly in your posts. Bearing in mind your recent thread about your daughter's trip away, it is really the money that is your main concern or is it her being away from home?

I'm surprised that you truly think all universities are equal. There are two issues there: whether they really are (I'd argue they aren't) and how recruiters perceive different unis (I don't think they'd choose London Met over Bristol, all other things being equal). In many ways it doesn't really matter whether the course at London Met is just as difficult as at Bristol, it's the perception that matters. You may rail against that as snobbery but it's reality.

I adored uni, I went away as did all my friends bar one. I learned a huge amount, met lifelong friends, had some entertaining jobs and just generally loved those three years. Admittedly, the new fees are a bit daunting to many but I still think there is a huge amount of value in going away to uni. I don't think it's the end of the world for someone to stay at home by any means but my advice to someone would always be to go away.

I'm sorry if my comments come across as harsh, they're not meant to be. You're obviously a very caring parent and your daughter sounds like she has her head screwed on, I'm sure she will do well at home or away.

I agree completely. It seems to me that the OP's daughter is likely to have to lead a very restricted lifestyle if she decides to stay living at home.

Erinnire

I can't offer any opinions on going away to uni as I am going as a mature student so have my own place but I was just wondering what is a Russell Group and what is a Poly Technic? Also I've heard of Red Brick universities but not sure what that means either.

And what is wrong with Lincoln Uni? I'm not going there but curious?

OP, I do wish I had done things properly and gone away to uni but think the best thing you can do is let your daughter work it out for herself she has still got plenty of time to decide and who knows how much she is going to grow in the next year.

Arthien

Erinnire wrote: »

I can't offer any opinions on going away to uni as I am going as a mature student so have my own place but I was just wondering what is a Russell Group and what is a Poly Technic? Also I've heard of Red Brick universities but not sure what that means either.

And what is wrong with Lincoln Uni? I'm not going there but curious?

OP, I do wish I had done things properly and gone away to uni but think the best thing you can do is let your daughter work it out for herself she has still got plenty of time to decide and who knows how much she is going to grow in the next year.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell_Group

"The Russell Group states that its objectives are to:
lead the research efforts of the United Kingdom;
maximise the income of its member institutions;
attract the best staff and students to its member institutions;
create a regulatory environment in which it can achieve these objectives by reducing government interference; and
identify ways to co-operate in order to exploit the universities' collaborative advantage.
It works towards these objectives by lobbying the UK government and parliament; commissioning reports and research; creating a forum in which its member institutions can discuss issues of common concern; and identify opportunities for them to work together."

Essentially, its 24 top universities who work together to create the best researching, teaching and learning opportunities for their students.

Polytechnics were also called colleges in the past. They often focus on less academic subjects (less hard science, more practical health studies, for example). They're mostly called universities now, as the majority took the opportunity to rebrand.

Edited to add: red brick unis are called that because that's what they were originally made of. They're normally very old, long-established institutions, for example Birmingham university, which claims to be the inspiration for the term.

securityguy

Erinnire wrote: »

I can't offer any opinions on going away to uni as I am going as a mature student so have my own place but I was just wondering what is a Russell Group and what is a Poly Technic? Also I've heard of Red Brick universities but not sure what that means either.

Russell Group: research intensive universities, often harder to get into: http://www.russellgroup.ac.uk/our-universities/

Polytechnics: local-authority operated higher-education colleges which became universities in the early 1990s. Historically much easier to get into than older universities.

Redbrick: Strictly, Birmingham, Manchester, Sheffield, Liverpool, Leeds, Bristol. More generally, older, metropolitan universities with an associated med school. For example, Nottingham or Newcastle would often be lumped in.

securityguy

Arthien wrote: »

Polytechnics were also called colleges in the past.

No, they were only called Polytechnics. There's a whole bunch of other post-92 universities which weren't previously Polytechnics (see here) which are a real assortment of places, including a lot of FE and HE colleges.

Arthien

securityguy wrote: »

No, they were only called Polytechnics. There's a whole bunch of other post-92 universities which weren't previously Polytechnics (see here) which are a real assortment of places, including a lot of FE and HE colleges.

Ok, agreed, but the general idea is that (as you said earlier), they may all be called universities now, but most people will think of the older university and a rebranded university as being a totally different kettle of fish!