University Campus or Home?

claire16c

Surely your daughter would want some kind of part time work even if she was living at home? Doesn't she have one already if she's 18? What's she doing all summer! Plus she will need work experience for when she finishes & tried to get a job otherwise her cv isn't going to look good, my part time jobs got me onto a placement and a job when I finished uni.

I think it would be best to live away for the first year & then depending on how she feels after that decide whether to carry on or move home for the 2nd year.

I think it's good to build your confidence and live independently especially as its likely she might end up living at home after her degree.

7k seems a high estimate. She'd still have to eat etc if she stayed at home the only difference is perhaps you would be paying it.

I don't think unis are viewed as being equal at all. I've had employers
comment on my degree from a russell group uni many times. So you are lucky you live near one.

To say that your friends who went to uni or have got good jobs didn't move out seems an odd comment to me. I knew someone who stayed at home & was awful at uni, missing lectures & getting bad results etc. it doesn't mean everyone who stays at home is like that.

Aquamarina

First generation of family uni students seem to stay at home. Next generation spread their wings. Encourage them to go away. It will make them. Forget the money.

Brallaqueen

How about she tries both? I worked in Uni accommodation in the local area and would often recommend this to those who were unsure and lived close enough to commute. The best way to do it is to commute first, and then if that's no fun, look at moving into halls of res after a month or two when the demand for rooms changes.

The reason for this is a) accommodation contracts are generally for the whole (academic) year and once signed it's much harder to get out of the contract that students may imagine

Where I worked we would regularly get students coming in about 6 weeks into term saying "I live x miles away, I'm only in two days a week and I've decided to drive in" only to get upset when we reminded them that they had signed a contract for the academic year and had an obligation to fulfil it (I could tell you stories!). Bit of an expensive pickle to find yourself in.

Whereas, if she tried the home route first and felt she was missing out, she could then try out for halls to replace any drop-outs or students looking to move out - most unis will accept a replacement tenant as long as they are suitable (actually a student, able to pay, correct gender if a single sex flat etc).

She'd miss the initial bonding but in my experience students moved around a lot in the first term anyway - moving because of flat mates or wanting to be closer to class mates or even moving to cheaper flats because they didn't realise how expensive the rooms are.

paulineb_2

Aquamarina wrote: »

First generation of family uni students seem to stay at home. Next generation spread their wings. Encourage them to go away. It will make them. Forget the money.

Thats not actually true. My mum lived at home when she went to uni and then when she got married she obviously moved out, she had me when she was still at university.

Some posts are saying that university will make people? How?
Thats such a general statement to make. As for forgetting the money, if families dont have loads of cash and yes theres the school of thought that says its going to be years before you pay a loan back if at all.

What difference would uni have made to my life if I had been away? It would have made a massive difference probably if I had been away and hadnt run into a landlady who was in the middle of a divorce and wasnt quite frankly bonkers.

Such as accusing me and my then bf of having sex in her house, just because he was in my room (we werent) and getting me into the living room and not allowing me to leave until I admitted what had been going on (nothing). I might have made friends and had a fantastic social life. But on the other hand, I did make friends that year but a lot of the friends I did make were local people to the university that were travelling in every day themselves. I stayed with 3 people that year, each were worse than the last. And for me, the right thing to do was come home.

And the people who were living in flats and were having such a fantastic time, all they seemed to do was go out, get drunk, repeat, or stay in, get drunk, repeat.

I agree it can make people grow up and I agree that if you are in a shared flat it can make you responsible with bills. But no one ever taught me how to budget, I managed that myself.
When I moved into my own home I didnt ever think, !!!! I wish I had been away from home at uni for 3 years, I cant budget.

Also, when I went back to uni and did my post grad, that was a few years later, but I was still in my 20s, I think the people on the course went out once that year, because it was so intensive.
I did stay away from home that year but I wasnt out partying every night because I had so much work to do.

The girl might go away from home and love it, she might hate it. She might want to stay at home. But the best thing to do in this scenario is let her decide and if she does move away and decide its not for her, let her move back without saying i told you so and if she does move out of the home and love it, fine.

My mum didnt influence me on where I went to uni, whether I stayed at home or moved away, it was totally my choice. As I said before, a lot depends on where you get the acceptance offers anyway.

mountainofdebt

Almo wrote: »

OP, you obviously have your own opinion and it is coming through very clearly in your posts. Bearing in mind your recent thread about your daughter's trip away, it is really the money that is your main concern or is it her being away from home?
.

I wondered exactly the same

stebiz

Thanks for all the replies. A lot of good points. I'm not actually stopping her applying to any Universities. She has her own mind when it comes to that and she wants to stay local. What she hasn't decided is whether to stay at home.

I really can understand where some of you are coming from. A great experience by many from what I can see but we aren't rich (not poor either) and there is only so much money to go around.

If she wants cars, insurance, holidays, travelling, accommodation, nice clothes etc etc then something has to give. Now if her choice is accommodation then she needs to understand that the kitty will be pretty bare (not empty) but if she stays at home there is another £140 per week to spare (yes that is their fees incl. food).

I've spoke to her about it a few times today and to be honest she's a bit fed up with it. Half of her wants to go and half wants to stay. I'm going to leave it with her now and let her decide. A year is a very long time.

stebiz

mountainofdebt wrote: »

I wondered exactly the same

I would like her to stay at home but just like I bought her tickets for a fortnight in America I'm happy to let her spread her wings at Uni. Already I've paid for two weekends away for her - no anchors here.

Her cousin is graduating this week. Stayed at home and has 10k in his bank account, which was saved whilst at home. He has no part time job either. He has told her his experiences and spent many a night at his mates digs. He was more than happy with the outcome.

Dunroamin

stebiz wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies. A lot of good points. I'm not actually stopping her applying to any Universities. She has her own mind when it comes to that and she wants to stay local. What she hasn't decided is whether to stay at home.

I really can understand where some of you are coming from. A great experience by many from what I can see but we aren't rich (not poor either) and there is only so much money to go around.

If she wants cars, insurance, holidays, travelling, accommodation, nice clothes etc etc then something has to give. Now if her choice is accommodation then she needs to understand that the kitty will be pretty bare (not empty) but if she stays at home there is another £140 per week to spare (yes that is their fees incl. food).
I've spoke to her about it a few times today and to be honest she's a bit fed up with it. Half of her wants to go and half wants to stay. I'm going to leave it with her now and let her decide. A year is a very long time.

It seems to me that there's plenty of time to have all those things for the rest of your working life. You only have a few years of being a student and, for many people, those years are far more valuable than any amount of clothes.

Personally I'd encourage her to choose a university in a different (perhaps cheaper) part of the country where she won't be torn by the possibility of staying on her home territory.

Loz01

Also when I was at Uni the rule was you had to live 35 miles+ away from campus to qualify for housing (and I was on the borderline) so if you do live in the same city chances are you wont get halls anyway as they are saved for students moving in from miles away. One of my friends wanted to live in halls despite her family home only being about 8 miles away and she didnt offered a room,she had to wait for 2nd and 3rd year and get a rented house.

*zippy*

My DD went locally and was determined she was staying in halls, but the first year didn't live up to her expectations and she was happy to come home for her second year and catch the train. Most of her friends did the same as as the rentals were so expensive and run down. I'm glad she tried it though and had the experience for the first year.