Where is the love

duckeggblue

Do you think you both drifted?

loulou26

I feel now that I wasn't putting in the effort that I should have been. I let slips too but i love him more than the day I married him
I became complacent and thought we would always be together

duckeggblue

How do you think you didn't put the effort it?

valk_scot

Have you considered that he might be seeing someone else while he's away? People sometimes say "I don't love you any more" without adding the second part "because I now love someone else" as it would make them the bad person.

zzzLazyDaisy

When you say a 'two week trial' do you mean a two week trial separation, or he is willing to stay with you for another two weeks to see if you can work it out? Either way it sounds like he is mentally already out of the door. I know you won't want to hear this, but 9 times out of 10, when a man starts saying these things, there is another woman in the background taking his attention.

Hugs

Dx

Edit: cross posted with valk_scott

loulou26

We are staying together and trying to rebuild the relationship together. After those two weeks if he still feels the same we will seperate.
People keep saying he must be seeing someone else and I have asked him. To be honest it would help me move on if there was someone in the background.
I don't think there is hope of a positive resolution at the moment

MrsDrink

loulou26 wrote: »

I feel now that I wasn't putting in the effort that I should have been. I let slips too but i love him more than the day I married him
I became complacent and thought we would always be together

All I've read so far is what you didn't do, what you could do better, what about him? It takes two to make a marriage work. What part, other than working away, has he played in the downfall of your marriage? Has he appologised for that and is he willing to actively work on it in the next two weeks, or will it be more of the same?

2 weeks to see if things improve isn't long enough in my opinion. If he is serious about wanting to fix your marriage I would say you both should go to somewhere like relate and get help. You can't change things over night (which is what 2 weeks feels like to me), assuming that you both actually want it to work.

Hugs though LouLou. I can't imagine being where you are, I would be a ball of snot and tears. x

MrsDrink

loulou26 wrote: »

After those two weeks if he still feels the same we will seperate.

What about your feelings? Do they not count for anything?

Bella73

Sending you hugs x

You are going through a tough time but I agree that two weeks is not long enough to "fix" your marriage and I'm sorry to agree with the others but there is probably another person in the background.

loulou26

We started this with a 6 month trial but I don't think I can feel the pain I'm feeling now for 6 months. He says he has been trying for the past few months by faking being in love but he doesn't want to do that anymore. It's tearing me apart