Ever been set up with someone by friends?

sulkisu

My partner and I were 'set up' by friends. We exchanged a few emails - which to be fair, didn't exactly set the world alight. I disagree with one thing that you said though, I think it can be quite hard to be funny, amusing etc. by text with someone that you don't know and have never met. As for my blind date and me, our first date was completely different and here we are, ten years and three children later.

Texting, emails and social network sites are good, but it's sad the way they seem to have replaced good old fashioned 'meeting and getting to know a physical person'.

pixo

I am an awful texter! I hate texting and only ever write short and to the point texts in proper english.

zagfles

totheleft wrote: »

Reminds me of my friend who tried to set me up.

She's my best friend and is married.

She met a guy at work who she thought was perfect for me. She really made him out to be a right catch and he ticked all of the boxes.

So I thought why not!

Well she gave him my number and we started texting. We got on fine, had long text messages etc...things were looking good. Until 3 days in, he told me he would bust my lip. I didn't think anything of it. Then before our first date, I told him I am going to be shy...he said that he will slap me and break my face if I was...:rotfl:

On top of that, he said he was watching a programme that showed a man killing his wife and if he thought that was fate.

I did tell my friend he said all of this but she said he was joking and that was his sense of humour so I still went on the date though and the guy was completely shy! Plus he was not good looking at all!!

I was quite offended my friend would hook me up with someone like that but I didn't let it get in the way of our friendship. I suppose she wouldn't have known.

I said no to him afterwards though.

He sounds like a complete nutter - but sometimes people have almost a separate personality with someone they're dating compared to with other people.

Many years ago (make that decades!) I'd just come out of a relationship and was having a moan with my mates down the pub, I was seeing a woman who was the sort who expects the bloke to make life happen for them. I had to make all the running, decide where to go, what to do, she never made any decisions, offered any opinions, etc. On the rare occasions she did have an idea, she never just came out and said it, she'd leave me to go through all the options until I mentioned it. She would try to steer me to the decision she wanted rather than just suggest it herself. She didn't want the responsibility of anything being her idea. It was so tedious.

Anyway after listening to my moans my friend mentioned it sounds like his boss would my ideal date, she was only a few years older than us, she was confident, attractive, great fun, she socialised with her staff and on nights out was the life and soul, also a nice caring person in the way she dealt with staff with problems etc. She did sound perfect.

He invited me to their next night out - said nobody would mind as they often invite mates of staff. And she really was everything he said. But I thought there's no chance whatsoever she'd be interested in me.

But the next time they arranged a night out she told my mate "invite your friend - he was a laugh". So I went on a few nights out with them, and noticed she sort of looked at me in a strange way every so often, I couldn't work it out. Eventually after a bit of dutch courage I thought I'd make a complete fool of myself and ask her out. Expecting her to laugh it off, she said "yes, ok" in a really shy, timid sort of way. Which I thought was a bit odd considering her personality.

That should have been the warning sign, because on our dates she was like a totally different woman. She would say things like "I like the bloke to take charge", "I like a gentleman who opens the car door for me", "I want to be swept off my feet", "When I get married I'll promise to obey".

What??? This from a woman in charge of 20 mostly male staff, with a budget in the millions, who is bright, confident, regularly travels all over the country on business meeting important customers? Is she just saying it because she thinks it's what I want to hear? It most definitely wasn't - I didn't want her in charge of the relationship, I just wanted an equal relationship. But after her high-flying day at work telling people what to do and making big decisions, she just wanted to be looked after and let someone else take charge.

Needless to say it didn't work out - I couldn't be the bloke she needed!

Pollycat

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Yea tbh he might be lovely in R/L :-) Texting doesn't mean anything.

If I chose my friends on their ability to text interesting stuff, I'd not have a very long Xmas card list. :rotfl:

*max* wrote: »

Argh...I'm feeling a little hurt my friends even thought we'd get on tbh! lol

Maybe your friends are feeling a little hurt that you have been so dismissive about this guy.

Hardup_Hester

Back in the dark ages, I worked in a book shop, one of the reps' asked me out, I went and he took me to the pictures a then for a meal. During the meal he announced that he was married but was unable to consumate his marriage. He claimed his wife had suggested he found someone less attractive than her to practice on!!
Hester

Georgiegirl256

Hardup_Hester wrote: »

Back in the dark ages, I worked in a book shop, one of the reps' asked me out, I went and he took me to the pictures a then for a meal. During the meal he announced that he was married but was unable to consumate his marriage. He claimed his wife had suggested he found someone less attractive than her to practice on!!
Hester

:eek: I hope you tipped the meal over him?! :rotfl:

stir_crazy

Hardup_Hester wrote: »

Back in the dark ages, I worked in a book shop, one of the reps' asked me out, I went and he took me to the pictures a then for a meal. During the meal he announced that he was married but was unable to consumate his marriage. He claimed his wife had suggested he found someone less attractive than her to practice on!!
Hester

Sorry but that story coupled with your picture made me:rotfl::rotfl:

My DH and I text all the time (he's away a lot) but quite often they are one word texts or would seem incredibly boring to anyone else reading them. My phone skills are also terrible. But we've been together almost 6 years (on the 14th July!) and he married me so I must be more interesting face to face!

Acc72

*max* wrote: »

Well, turns out he has the personality of a wet sponge. "Hi sweetheart, I'm having dinner". "Hi, I'm bored". "You at work?". Nothing remotely exciting, funny, no potential for interesting conversation at all. Whenever or whatever I reply, he texts back "Cool", or "Ok". I tried!

You don't say how old you both are ?

For those you have grown up with texts etc. it is a natural form of comminucation, however for those a little older it can sometimes come across as being awkward (eg. I am a right laugh in real life, but in texts I am quite formal - I use words and sentences with full stops ! ).

I am sorry that you did not find this person exciting, funny or interesting.

It sounds as though you wanted to be entertained by a witty, handsome, intelligent raconteur ?

If so, what do you offer - are you equally witty, intellectual and interesting etc. ?

burnoutbabe

he doesn't sound at all interested in you. If he was, and he wanted to get you interested in meeting him, he'd be sending longer texts (if thats the only way you have of communicating) and arranging a meet up.

(I was assuming you are both blokes but I may be wrong).

So no conversation and no meet up suggestion, equals no interest.

miss_independent

Yeah I was pretty much set up with someone recently, a family friend set me up with her nephew who she ADORES. He came over great on texts. We went on a date and it was a disaster, he had issues with drugs, theft and told me he hated his Aunt etc as you "always have to put your Nice Face on around them". I was extemely uncomfortable on the date and his Aunt and his family clearly had no idea what he was really like. It was very awkward when they wanted to know why it didn't work out as I couldn't be honest and say, "Your nephew is a crazy, foul mouthed criminal who can't stand to be around you." I just said we weren't compatible, I'm looking for someone more mature. Aunt and family now seem to be avoiding me.

My friend and her Mum have been trying to set me up with a friend of theirs who is apparently the nicest man they know but has been treated like crap by his ex girlfriends. They showed me his pictures on Facebook and I feel awful sayng this but I know I would never be able to feel physically attracted to him. Trouble is I don't know how to tell them without sounding like a biatch. They've even said, "I mean we could never feel physically attracted to him....but we thought you might?" and "I know he isn't a great looking guy but he has a lovely personality." It's very awkward as they are practically begging me to go out with him. I've tried to point out that he might not fancy me either but they just laugh it off. I say, "I'm quite happy being single, thanks." and they say, "You would change your mind if you met him. PLEASE go out with him!". I'm now avoiding them until it all blows over.

Another lovely woman I know is trying to set me up with her son. My friend and her Mum above are now at war with this woman and they keep whispering in my ear, "He's still living at home on JSA & has been for years. He's not good enough for you - our Bloke's a fireman. He could give you a fireman's lift!"

Then, last week, my friend made it her mission to "get MissIndependent laid." and I am now trying to figure out how I can avoid her! She spend all of last Saturday night going up to guys saying, "Hi, you are gorgeous. I am married but this is my friend, MissIndependent and she is single. I keep telling her, if I was a lesbian I'd shag her. Would you?"

It was soul destroying.

It's all giving me a headache and I'm thinking of inventing an imaginary boyfriend to get everyone off my back. I can't imagine why people are so desperate to meddle in other people's love lives!

To play devils advocate though... I agree it isn't fair to write someone off by text without meeting him IRL. He doesn't know you...what is he supposed to say. Meet him for coffee. You might like him. Or you might not. But you'll never know if you don't give him a chance.