Someone in my team just got engaged!!! Man I'm jealous!

Tropez

duchy wrote: »

No it has no impact on my relationship but it does have an impact on others perception of it
(Don't read DT threads much as they seem to be inhabited by a minority who appear to reside on Mars)

I'm not convinced this is true but even if it was, I still don't think it is that important.

I don't think a specific word is that big an indication of a relationship.

I'll admit, I prefer calling my partner that because "girlfriend" sounds wrong to me.

However, even if there were some 17 year old referring to his/her boyfriend/girlfriend of three weeks as their "partner" it shouldn't change the perception of my relationship one bit.

I've been in a relationship for around six and a half years. Regardless of the terminology used simply based on length it should be conclusive that our relationship is a serious one. I wouldn't have spent six and a half years on a casual fling.

If someone seems to value my relationship differently because a few teenagers call their OHs their "partner" or because some people in obviously casual relationships use the word then it really wouldn't bother me because they're not in it.

ViolaLass

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

I am married now and have been for 18 years but I remember feeling like this. Then one day, my then boyfriend said something which made me realise that he would never propose. He intended to stay at home with his parents. TBH, I think it was more a confidence thing, I don't think he thought anyone would want to marry him, so he hadn't even considered it.

Anyway, I finished with him a couple of weeks later, explaining that I wanted marriage, children etc. For the next two weeks, when he tried to ring me I hung up. Eventually, he persuaded me to meet him for one last time to swap our things back. However, when he saw me he decided he would have to marry me. Two years later we did.

It maybe that he hasn't considered marriage. I think it would be worth trying to have a conversation about what the future holds to see if he sees marriage in his future or not.

You didn't talk to him about it first?

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

I guess I just don't understand why its any skin off your nose? Does it matter if they use a word in a way you don't approve but that isn't categorically 'wrong'?

Well, initially it was annoying because I made certain assumptions in my interviews which took a lot of unwinding when the reality emerged.

In the longer term, if everybody refers to someone they're dating as partner (rather than boy/girlfriend), those who're in a long term, committed relationship are back at square one with no word to clarify the nature of their situation, which seems rather a shame.

Percy1983

Person_one wrote: »

I have noticed that women are more likely to use partner while men seem happy to carry on using girlfriend or boyfriend up to a much older age. Maybe because we still use 'girl' to describe adult women, but nobody would call a grown man a 'boy', generally.

Lagoon wrote: »

That, or men never quite get past the mentality of a teenager.

:whistle:

I prefer the title man child.

duchy

We've come full circle on this one - from a single woman who calls her man "hubby" to a couple of uncommitted teenagers calling themselves partners

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

I have noticed that women are more likely to use partner while men seem happy to carry on using girlfriend or boyfriend up to a much older age. Maybe because we still use 'girl' to describe adult women, but nobody would call a grown man a 'boy', generally.

To many men, 'partner' sounds a bit 'Brokeback Mountain'. 'Girlfriend' prevents unnecessary confusion.

Person_one

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think it was 'solved years ago', I think its always been up in the air. Lots of people think 'partner' just means a same sex partner, or should only refer to a business partner.

Gloomendoom wrote: »

To many men, 'partner' sounds a bit 'Brokeback Mountain'. 'Girlfriend' prevents unnecessary confusion.

^^ See what I mean?

CharlotteMusha

duchy wrote: »

We've come full circle on this one - from a single woman who calls her man "hubby" to a couple of uncommitted teenagers calling themselves partners

I'm 25, been with Dean (its safest to just say his name now save another argument on here lol) 3 years and he is 30. He referrs to me as his girlfriend, I do call him my other half (more so at work as thats how most other people seem to refer to their spouses when we chat) or boyfriend generally whilst chatting. He doesn't like the term boyfriend much as he feels it make him sound like a teenager but at the same time manfriend makes him sound over 40 :rotfl:

securityguy

Person_one wrote: »

As I keep saying on DT threads

Saturnalia

It changes all the time though, doesn't it? Back in my schooldays, you'd walk home with someone you liked and then if you did so again, you were boyfriend & girlfriend. It was as casual as could be, it meant nothing really.

Then if you were seeing that person on a more regular basis, people said the two of you were 'an item'.

And now it seems among my age group, the terms boyfriend & girlfriend are a really big deal and you can be seeing someone every night for months on end but they don't see you as their girl/boyfriend! While the teens are jumping into 'partner' with someone they've been seeing for a week!

I tend now not to put too much weight on what they call each other and wait for them to tell me what their relationship is - and if they don't do that it's because I'm not close enough to them to be in the know. For good friends, I'm obviously close enough to them that I do know what's happening.